Broken Mirror
by Midnight Minute
Summary: Itachi closed his eyes, deeply concentrated on my words. "Sakura, you will come to love me as you did before." As if it were so easy. As if he already knew. I looked up at him, no doubt in my mind. "No Itachi. Things will never be as they were before..."
1. Chapter 1

I take it back.

I take it _all_ back.

Silky green sheets twist and knot in my angry fingers, tears instantly swelling up in my eyes. If I had just done something....been smarter....thought harder, then maybe- I could feel my nails dig deeply into my palm. Relaxing my hold, I released the fabric, now dented and slightly faded from my grip. A small tear traced down my cheek, innocently falling down my face.

I quickly wiped it away.

Crying is such a funny thing you know. People cry all the time. It can be a good thing to cry, but sometimes it is just foolish. Crying over the same thing, over and over again, knowing nothing will change; that is foolish isn't it? I suppose that makes me foolish then as well. I just wish that I could hate him. There are moments, just like a mere moment ago. I get so angry. I am so sure that I can hate him. I have every right to. But instead... I cry. I cry because I hurt. And...I know that no matter what I do, or where I go, I can't escape from that hurt. Not from him. There is no where that I can go where he won't watch me. No where to hide from him. I know I can't, so if I can just muster up enough to hate him, it won't hurt anymore...but...

I just can't!

Another tear runs down my face. ...I don't even bother to wipe it away this time.

Interrupting my deep, sorrowful mood I seem to always be in now, I hear light steps come down the hallway to my room. A light tap echoes across the stiff wooden door and a rough voice calls from the other side. "Sakura...You in there?" Physically? Yes. I would always be here. Trapped. Forever. No hope. In spirit? No. I was long gone. Dreaming. Some place, some heaven. That's where I was. And that's where I would be waiting. I baffled back between myself as to how I should answer the simple question, though didn't have to. I watched the handle turn slowly and a light blue hand push the door open.

Kisame.

I suppose when I first came here, such an event would have terrified me to the point of mental fatigue. An S ranked criminal entering my room? I wouldn't have been able to cope with such a traumatizing happening back then. Not anymore. The innocence of light had long abandoned me, leaving me cold and dead. I knew I wasn't always like this. So uncaring and heartless. But that's what happens when you get shoved. You either fall, or you push back. ...Sadly, the people I pushed, could play just a bit harder than me. Maye that's why I found it so...interesting.

Kisame spoke up, and I listened. I listened very closely. The first word he said, like pure fire. Burning me inside and out. I had rehearsed it. I told myself that a name is a name. There should be no need to be all worked up over just a few syllables put together, though I still flinched. The very name, a power of its own. Pure energy. But it was more than that. That name was my life. Was...was actually the best word for it. I gave my life up for that name. And now, I wish so badly to hate that name. To hate it and be free. But I can't. I will never forget what was, and in turn will never get over that name. I will always be a slave...to that man.

My head flooded quickly with anger and pain and confusion. All because of a name. And that was _just_ his name. The rest of him, even past all my defiance to him, plagued me and reduced me to my knees before him. Sometimes quite literally. I had no power against him. Any resentment I felt towards him I harbored sacredly, hoping to one day free my own mind from him. I was addicted to him.

Was.

"He wants to see you Sakura..." Kisame repeated, staring at me in concern. Maybe I wasn't listening as well as I thought I was. I couldn't stop a soured glare from spreading across my face as I looked at Kisame. I instantly dropped my angry face and replaced it with an apologetic frown. Sometimes I felt bad for him. He often received the misguided anger from me, though he never seemed to take to much offense luckily. He stated nothing, knowing my internal battles quite well. I, not wanting to inflict greater damage on him, stood up and walked out of the room to my destination. Like a sheep to the slaughter house. I am such an idiot for not even putting up a fight. If it was so important he would come himself and talk to me. Though...I really didn't want that either.

Each step added intensity in my head. Why was I so submissive to that undeserving, arrogant.... I can't help but sigh. I know why I don't fight him. There's no fight left in me anymore. There are somethings in life...you just learn to give up...

Like happiness.

You don't need happiness to survive. Granted, it's quite the luxury, but if you have ever lost it, you know what I mean. Sure, there is this empty hollow feeling that never seems to go away, but you learn how to live life...day by day...without it. For those of you who haven't had this experience, let me try to explain it to you. Days kind of just...bleed together almost. Nothing really stands out. You aren't sad all the time, it's just....you don't really care anymore. Days just pass by, and it sorta is like a grey blur by the end. ...It doesn't hurt or anything. It's a way of life, and if you perfect it, you can almost block out everything in that sad grey haze.

Cool, smooth metal pricked my senses as I grabbed the handle to his room. Too late now to turn back. He would have heard that, and know that it was me. I was the only one that was even allowed to enter his room without knocking. Anyone else had a death wish. As if a child waiting for chastisement, I clamped my eyes shut and slowly turned the handle until I could open the door just enough for me to step in. The first thing that caught my gaze?

Two raven eyes, piercing straight through me. They caught my gaze forcefully, as if speaking just by eye contact alone. The two eyes narrowed slightly, reading me like the open book I was to him.

I froze in the doorway instantly. My breathing spiked irregularly as I felt fear coarse through me. What was I so afraid of? Though he hated when I did this, I broke my gaze away from his all knowing eyes, and quickly let them default down to the ground, where they usually were when I was in his presence. I closed the door slowly, timidly walking further into his room.

It wasn't the closing door that made the pressure in the room change. He stood up, walking towards me. My mind raced as I concentrated harder on the ground. What was he going to do? Beat me, talk to me? I didn't care, I just wanted him to leave me alone! I could feel him so close to me, and I flinched away when I felt him grab my hand. Aware of this, he carefully reached back and grabbed my hand, turning it every which way to get a closer look.

"Sakura" his smooth voice seemed to cut through all my defenses. It wasn't concerned or pained. But demanding almost.

His other hand lifted up my chin. I had to look up at him. I was instantly captured by his eyes, which were narrowed again. "Sakura what is this?" he lightly ran his fingers over my hand, putting on just enough pressure to cause the cuts to bleed. I knew I shouldn't have clenched my fist so hard back there. I had no reply for him, shifting my eyes to the wall. Quickly, his grip tightened down, hard. I flinched at the pain, looking back at him. "Sakura, why are you hurting yourself like this?"he asked, ever so softly. His eyes hazed as if lost in thought.

My head began swirling all over again. I hated when he did this. Did he want to know why I was going crazy? Him! That's the answer! He was doing this to me! Even if he set me free from the boundaries, I would never be free. I could never get back what I had lost and given up for him. He was the most powerful man I knew, but not even he had the power to set me free. It was impossible. It was too late. And it was his fault too. I managed to glare up at him, "Liar. Nothing is like you said it would be." I managed to force that name out of my mouth. The one I could never force myself to say anymore. The same one that ruined me.

"... Itachi "

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A/N: Hey Guys. So 2nd story. I don't like over lapping, but I got some inspiration and didn't want to loose it. I am on my knees BEGGING you guys, PLEASE COMMENT! I need to know if you guys like this one or not. If you like it, I'll keep writing, but if not I will focus on my other story even more. (I am hoping to balance both, but we shall see) So I know it sounds selfish, but I really need your guys' feedback on this one. Please tell me if you want to hear more, cause if I don't get feedback, I am just assuming it's not worth it. So please, take the 5 seconds to just write up a little yay or nay? Thanks guys!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Just a note here, this story is going to be a bit....odd. In order to understand Sakura and Itachi now, I need to show you where it all started. Rise and fall. And they won't necesarrily be in order. But don't worry, I am doing that on purpose, so that you the reader, can have a better understanding of this amazing couple! So from now on, if a word is italicized, that means it's a flashback ok? This entire chapter is a flashback...and it's a nice change from the sad and gloomy first chapter. Enjoy!

------------------------------------- Flash Back! ---------------------------------------------

_I gripped my fist tighter, my leather gloves squeaking and moving around my hand. I quickly looked about the open meadow I was in, adrenaline and excitement pulsing through my blood. A smirk played across my face, my eyes still scanning back and forth past the meadow now, and into the forest surrounding the area. _

_He was here._

_I knew it. Like a sense, instinct almost. Itachi was like a magnet that only effected me. I had an unexplainable pull to him, and when he was around....I could just feel it. Knowing his behavior also added to the obvious. Itachi loved playing these games with me, entertained by my 'lack of skill' as he explained to me. If anyone else had told me that, I would be so offended...but from Itachi...it almost seemed like a compliment. It would to anyone who knew the power he had with sharingan. Anyone who knew the power he had without it. ...I was strong. He knew that, he didn't need to tell me that he understood that. Itachi....he was just a different kind of ninja altogether. _

_The wind picked up, blowing my hair side to side across my face. I continued to cut through the forest, and finally focused on a moving object. Itachi's figure stepped out from the woods, eyes barely open, staring at the ground blankly. I watched him with an awe...a respect. A few seconds passed slowly like hours, as I watched him from a distance. See. Itachi could do that to you. Well, he always did for me. He didn't have to use sharingan to mess with time flow around me. Him just being there, so often, made everything around me melt away until my world was just him. And that's all I wanted it to be. _

_Itachi. Just Itachi._

_His slowly moved his head up, still looking at the ground. I watched him. Slowly as ever, he opened his eyes fully, looking instantly at me. I swear my heart skipped a beat. And I also swear that he knows that he has that power over me, and does it on purpose. He loves knowing that I am wrapped around his finger, and all he has to do is look at me...and I melt. How sad is that? Just a look. That's it! ...It's true. I am completely obsessed with him. Nothing will ever change that about me. I will always love him, no matter what, I will love him forever._

_Though right now, I was way too competitive to swoon over him totally. No. If he wanted to play his little games, I was more than happy to oblige. It was always interesting to see how Itachi would make me inferior to him in one way or another. I pulled chakra into my palm, charging toward him with as much speed as I could possibly muster out of me. He looked at me, eyes following my every step with ease. I don't know why I was even trying to go so fast. To him, it probably looked like I was walking... There was no beating Itachi. What really proved your skill was how long you could last against him before you lost. _

_Though, you can't really judge me by that scale anymore. He goes so easy on me it's not even fair...but the worst part is...he doesn't even try and beats me in like three seconds! _

_The second I neared him by about five feet, he disappeared back into the woods. Gone. Poof. Vanished. _

_No, he was not getting away so easily!_

_I chased after him into the woods, deeper and farther away from the meadow. Though I was no where near Itachi's level, he couldn't loose me that easily. I hoped easily from tree to tree, following after the all to familiar figure in front of me. He glanced over his shoulder, a small smirk, barely noticeable, at the corner of his mouth. I couldn't help but beam slightly, knowing that this was obviously entertaining him. I sped up and leaped into the air to tackle him. Sorta._

_Now you must understand here, he hates it when I do that. Because if for some reason I didn't grab onto him or whatever, in his mind, I would fall to the ground and break a bone or something. He could easily avoid my flying squirrel like stunt, though often he would stop and actually catch me. I know I am not as good as him, but I'm not a porcelain doll either. _

_As expected, he quickly turned around and leaped into the air, catching me midair. As we landed on the closest branch, he looked at me with exasperation. "You trying to give me a heart attack?" he stated, after a moment of him sternly looking at me. He closed his eyes again, mentally focusing himself. I couldn't help but laugh slightly. I shoved him back to the base of the tree branch, "But I got you!" I teased. He kept his eyes closed but alloted an amused 'hmph' to come from his lips. Like a joke I wasn't aware of. My eyes narrowed childishly, and in that small moment, I could feel two arms pull around me and grab my hands behind my back. My eyes widened and glared into Itachi, who still sat in front of me innocently. Pssh, I should have known._

_Darn it. Lost again!_

_Itachi poofed away, though this time, it wasn't into the forest or a new location. Because that Itachi wasn't even real. Just a clone. God, Itachi was good. _

_"Now...who's got who again?" Itachi teased from behind me, this time the real Itachi. I stared down into the tree back stubbornly, never willing to admit defeat. Pouting. He released my hands, and pulled his arms around my waist. Just holding me there. He knew my weaknesses. Itachi was, and would always be a gentlemen, but when it came to me, my weaknesses were just that: weaknesses. He had no remorse using them against me, and did commonly any time he needed to sway my emotions. The problem was, the things that he used against me, weren't even that complex. He would just have to look at me, grab my hand, smile, and I was eating out of his hands. Sad really._

_Itachi lightly kissed my lower neck. "Don't be like that Sakura. It's just a game..." he whispered quietly in my ear._

_And that's all it took. A simple word, a simple touch, and I was putty in his more than capable hands. I moved my head back and looked up at him, my green eyes searching for his. He looked back down at me, a smile of amusement faintly framed his face. He loved being able to control me like this. Not physically. There would be no fun in that for someone as strong as him. But emotionally? It was the best game of all. He lived to be able to watch me fall deeper and deeper for him with no way out. Though it wasn't like I wanted out. Not from Itachi. Once you have had a taste of Itachi, there is no turning back._

_I could feel Itachi shift behind me, sitting down on the extremely large tree limb. He pulled me backwards by my shirt, which sent me tumbling down ontop of him. I quickly moved, sitting down on his lap. I tried to hide my blush from him. I was so clumsy, and to mess up...or trip, infront of someone like Itachi? Pure embarrassment. It really made me question why he even wanted to be with me sometimes. _

_I could feel Itachi's gaze behind me, which put my stomach in knots like you wouldn't believe. I leaned my head back on his shoulder looking up at him. A warm smile spread across my face, proving that, as usual, he always knew just what to do and say. _

_"Itachi?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"...Will we...always be together?"_

_"Yes." He said it so quickly. He didn't have to think, like it was just a fact. An obvious statement. And I liked that._

_"So, you won't ever leave me, right?"_

_"Never."_

_"Itachi?"_

_He opened his eyes, showing that I was confusing him. He usually always had his eyes closed. He didn't need them to read me. But when I did something out of the ordinary or special, he would watch me. Read me. Like he was doing now._

_"What is it Sakura?" He said my name, not uncommon, but it always made me shiver. _

_"Promise you'll always love me?"_

_His eyes widened, shocked by the simplicity of my question. Just as quickly, they closed shut again._

_"I promise."_

_A large smile spread across my face again. This thing, it was better than fiction. Better than a dream. Because this was reality. My reality. I turned around on his lap, and shoved him back onto the tree limb. He looked up at me curiously, then, seeing my smile, pulled me down on top of him. A small girlish giggle escaped from my lips, me staring into his beautiful, raven eyes. I leaned down, gently kissing him. As I pulled away, his hand tangled through my hair lightly and pushed me back down. He kissed me back, just as carefully as I had before. Butterflies set loose in my stomach, as if I had never kissed him before. _

_If I could describe Itachi in one word...Addictive. Whatever Itachi gave me, emotionally, physically...it would just leave me hanging. Satisfied...but always wanting more. This made it impossible to ever leave him, he just made we want to come back. When he did go away, I would count down his return. And by some miracle, he always came back for me. Always. No matter where I was, he would find me and capture me in his arms and love._

_And...I know there will be struggles in our relationship...it's a part of life. But I know that nothing could ever tear me away from him. Nothing could ever change my love for Itachi. And hopefully, he feels that same connection with me. Nothing will ever break that bond we have. Nothing._

_------------------------_

A/N: Hey, sorry for having 2 author's notes. The one above is like a must read thing, and the one's here are my chance to talk to you all! I just want to thank you all for the support via subscribing and reviewing on that last chapter (may god bless you all!!) I is pure selfishness but it really keeps the author writing! Not just me either. Thanks so far for being the awesome readers you are, you make writing even funner for me!


	3. Chapter 3

It was not a mere whim or dislike. It was pure passion.

It was not a small whispered statement I was trying to hide. It was a yell.

A yell that told him exactly where I stood. Right there. No where else.

**"What?! NO! ....No! I REFUSE."**

I kept my hard glare that wrinkled my face as I stared at the (calm as ever) Uchiha. My voice didn't falter because I wasn't faltering. Simple as that. There was nothing in me that was uncertain. In a simple moment, my mind was made up. That's all there was to it.

Itachi, more than used to my stubborn, submissive less behavior, closed his eyes and sat down on his bed, obviously not wanting to fight over the issue. He stated expressionlessly, "Sakura, please be reasonable."

...Reasonable? Seriously? He wanted me to be reasonable? Fine. I would gladly give this 'reason' to him. Black and white.

I struck with my words viciously, venom dripping from every word. "In case you forgot, I **can't** go back to Konoha. I won't. ...And _especially_ not with you." I allowed my voice to grow exceptionally cold at the end, hoping that it would harm him. I instantly regretted it.

His eyes shot open, staring deeply into me, making me re question it all. This was so stupid! Why couldn't I just hate him, and get out of this trap I had let myself fall to? Though inwardly, I had completely backed down, outwardly, I took careful measures to show no remorse. That was a rather useful thing I learned from none other than the same Uchiha that was struggling to see past the very facade he taught me. I knew that was harsh, but I found it easier and easier to say such horrible things.

It was almost a test for him. He knew that. My saying hurtful things to him was almost asking him...begging him to tell me things really weren't as bad as they were. It's what I wanted to hear from him. Something only he could save me from. But he couldn't. I knew it, and yes, he did too. His sad dark eyes told me that every time, just like they were doing now.

Itachi made my world collapse around me, and he was the one that got to deal with the brokenness. It was only fair. Sow what you reap, jerk.

Itachi, with a discerning sigh, finally spoke "If you are set on hating me so much...I wouldn't make you go with me. But it is not my orders."

Hating him? Yeah, I wish. But apparently I was getting really good at this whole facade thing if I had him convinced. And then there was another thing. 'Not my orders'? What was that supposed to- ...Pein. Pein's orders. Of course. Pein always loved sticking me in random missions against my will. Just to get me mad. And he knew nothing was worse than sticking me to Itachi by force. It was my weakness. He knew that. I could handle anything, anyone....but not Itachi. He didn't fit the mold. He knew too much, knew me too much. Itachi was so much a part of me, it looked natural for us to be together, almost purposeful.

But as you can see, outward looks mean nothing.

I, now knowing I would have no choice, shrieked out "Why is Pein in on this?!"

Itachi couldn't bite back a smirk, though I am sure he tried. Itachi knew that tone. He knew it meant my rock hard will was cracked. And that crack was all he needed. We both already knew the outcome of this argument, just how long he let it go on was the real question.

He answered my question, as if he didn't know that he had already won. "You're a medical ninja. If I were to get hurt...or-"

Ridiculous. If he was going to answer a rhetorical statement, the least he could do is not mock me while doing it.

"What?!_ Get hurt_?! Don't give me that! You've never come back with more than a scratch before!! Get hurt...." I mimicked again cynically. Seriously, how dumb. I crossed my arms, my lips pursed in frustration. I was sick of this place. These stupid orders from Pein. I hated everything, even myself, just never him. Never Itachi.

I began my complaints again, hoping that maybe I could for once, put my foot down, control something about my life. "...I don't even care! I am not going! Pein can't make me do anything. I will kill myself first! There! What do you think of that It-"

Itachi, working his magic, stood up, silencing my ranting. He walked around me, standing behind me, each move no doubt planned and choreographed perfectly. He placed his hands on my forearms, making me tense under his hold. Itachi always did this when he wanted me to listen. He was serious at this point. The action itself, in words would be like "Enough games Sakura.." or "This is how it will be, no questions asked." Take your pick. This was always him putting his foot down, and anyone who crosses Itachi after such a stand is a complete fool. Not even I am that daring.

"Sakura. Stop fighting."

Simple words from his lips, and that was it. I would not dare continued my complaints and anger. How could I? Itachi would not allow it. After this point, any resulting problems were my fault. If I dared defy him, he would simply render me unconscious. Fighting physically with Itachi, with him not holding back, was an uncompromisable nightmare. I sighed, defeated. I hated having to give up to him. But he loved it. Even with me wanting only to get away from him, he still controlled me effortlessly.

Not missing a beat of my changed body language, he continued his commands.

"Go and pack what you need. We will be leaving with Kisame at sundown. When you are done packing, come back." I nodded to his will slowly, feeling broken and useless. I had no free will...did I? I was simply a slave to Itachi, practically by choice. He would never make me stay...but I was bonded to him by ties that no one could cut....as much as I had prayed and begged them to be. Not even Itachi could set me free. He wasn't the one with the keys. I was. But...I just couldn't make myself hate him. And I desperately wished I could.

I slowly walked out of his room, on the verge of tears, as usual.

I walked back into my room, silently. Empty. A simple android doing whatever Itachi told me to do. I was filled with fear though. Back into Konoha? I hadn't been there sense....I shuttered as my mind recalled dark memories long suppressed away. I was filled with hopelessness. It must be so easy for Pein to just say 'Go to Konoha.' Because he didn't understand where I had been. He didn't know any of it. Itachi even said himself that he wouldn't force me to go. Because he knew. He knew what Konoha meant to me...and how much it hurt me that I couldn't go back. Until now.

I sighed as familiar tears ran down my face. You'd think I'd run out of things to cry over, but it never seemed to stop. Life just flew by me, and I wanted to grab on. Move on. Move out. Get out. Something!

But I couldn't.

I didn't want to go back to Konoha. I did not want to face my past. Perhaps irrational to those looking from the outside in...but if you only understood.

I started crying even harder, not even noticing my door open and close again.

About the time I noticed and turned around, Itachi stood, looking down at me sadly. My defenses down, I merely whimpered his name.

"..It-Itachi..." I cried, closing my eyes in sobs.

Next thing I knew, I was in his arms, crying like the pathetic weak girl I was. I couldn't stop. I wasn't crying because of Konoha. It was everything. Past, present. It was where I was, it was the look in his eyes, it was my life. Nothing was how I thought it would be, how I wanted it to be so badly. Surely there was a perfect world where I could love Itachi, or hate him. But this middle ground was tearing me apart!

Itachi held me tightly, broken by my actions. He loved me. He would always love me. He told me that freely. Itachi would not lie about such acrylic things. But, there was nothing that hurt him more than when he had to see me like this. He wanted to give me everything, he wanted me to be happy. Sad part is, I wasn't even trying to hurt him now.

Hours passed, I did eventually stop crying, though we just sat there like that. Him holding me, me staring into the wall, lost in a sea of thoughts.

In a high, quieted voice, I whispered, "Itachi...why do you love me.." I didn't love him. He knew that too. Yet here he was, just waiting patiently for me to come back to him.

Itachi closed his eyes, deeply concentrated on my words. "Sakura, you will come to love me as you did before." As if it were so easy. As if he already knew. I looked up at him, no doubt in my mind. "No Itachi. Things will never be as they were before..."

But for a small moment, I hoped he was right.

But I knew better. I couldn't.

I couldn't ever love Itachi again. And that is something, not even Itachi, had the power to change.

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A/N: This story is going to have me in tears! Reading this, it is easy to hate Sakura here, but keep reading fans. As said, the secret to this story is all in the past. I will keep revealing it to you as the story progresses, so don't write her off just yet. Wow. I hate to go crazy over my work, but wow. I really like this chapter. I love how the couple responds to each other. They know each other so well...too well. And that's half the problem. Haayyyy I have a BUNCH of stuff from now until the rest of my life it seems, but I will update as much as I can m'kay? Keep reading and commenting please! 3 my fans!


	4. Chapter 4

Eyes bore into me, an intense gaze that I couldn't brush off.

Then they would shift back to Itachi.

Then back to me.

Kisame hated going on missions where the two of us were together. The very atmosphere tensed and grayed...it could literally be felt. He looked back and forth between the two of us, hoping to make the moment pass by staring at us in concern, making us 'see the light' and fix our more than obvious problems. If anyone had the most hope of understanding Itachi and I, it was Kisame, but even Kisame could never understand the...bond...if that is the correct term...between Itachi and I.

There was no way I was talking to that Uchiha. Slim chance I would even look at him. And as far as I knew, he handled it the same way too. It wasn't us being rude to each other, it simply was not professional. Itachi would never allow emotions to interfere with his duties, and I was more than happy with shoving everything under a carpet. The less I had to think over...us....the idea still makes me shudder....the easier it would be. For both of us..

I could feel his gaze again, and I wanted to groan. My face twisted slightly in annoyance and slight embaraasment, and I caught a small smirk from the famed Uchiha from my peripheral vision. He knew all to well how I felt from Kisame's worried stares. By the time I glanced over to Itachi, he had already calmed his face, trying to convince me that he hadn't been watching me.

My eyes narrowed even more. It was always like this on missions with this pair. Drove me crazy. We have Kisame, who stares rerentlessly at me until I want to stab his eyes out, and then there is Itachi, who pretends not to notice me slowly loosing my mind from Kisame's actions. And this cycle goes on, and on, and on.

"Nice weather!!" I announced loudly, deciding to take things into my hands.

Kisame focused more attention onto me, absolutely shocked. I rarely spoke now. Kisame stared just as hard, trying to figure out why I would say something so blatantly and obviously false. It was not nice out. It was raining. Torrential downpour. Every fiber of my clothes was dripping wet. It was completely miserable outside.

I mentally scolded myself. Nice weather? Great. Not only did my plan fail, but it backfired. Now even Itachi stared at me, no doubt laughing at me in his head for trying to change the circumstances and failing miserably. I rolled my eyes in a scowl and continued onward on the path of torture.

A sicking sadistic side of me laughed darkly, enjoying the irony and sarcasm 'To Konoha!!' Yeah. Me. In Konoha? This was suicide. Mainly because it was me that would tear myself apart. No one else, just me.

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_"Itachi!" Naruto spat like a curse. His aura changed and reshaped around him dangerously, the entire group changing...preparing for the final stand against Itachi. They had him.  
_

_I stared into his onyx eyes, wondering what to do. Even Itachi would be in trouble, with all these people against him. Naruto, Kakashi, Captain Yamato....even Tsunade! They couldn't kill him...surely they couldn't kill him! But...I knew better. That was just a wish that he couldn't die. Itachi was so powerful...but....he was mortal.  
_

_His eyes shifted to me, all knowing as always. He knew my internal battle. But he wouldn't force me now. This was my choice; my stand._

_Konoha..._

_Or Itachi?_

_The moment slowed dramatically. What should I do? Konoha was....my village...my home! Konoha was what my life was centered around, it's hopes and dreams...they were mine too! I wanted what Konoha wanted! I wanted to watch Konoha grow in a pure light that will reform the world! Konoha was my world!  
_

_But...there was Itachi. I wanted to be with him, in a new world that I didn't have the answers to. A strange...beautiful world, only he could give me. I might find another guy one day...but never like Itachi. No one would ever be Itachi for me. No one ever could. He never gave me all the answers, but when you have everything you ever wanted from him...why question? Who could ask for more anyhow? More importantly...how could I let that go?  
_

_The ultimate decision surfaced...after all this time...but it was so soon. Too soon! I wasn't ready for this!!  
_

_If I helped Itachi, Konoha would know my dark secret...they wouldn't allow it...but...if I didn't help him..._

_Itachi would never come back for me! Why would he when he clearly saw my decision? He didn't need to explain this to me, it was a commen understanding. He wouldn't force himself into my life, and he knew that him being a wedge between me and Konoha...well...we both knew that one day a choice would be made._

_An ultimate choice that would sever the two worlds apart for good. The only thing that was left was which side I would fall on...which side I chose to fall on.  
_

_But I didn't want to chose anything! I wanted both Itachi....and I wanted Konoha! How could Itachi expect me to make such a decision? _

_But it was only fair. He wanted all of me, and I couldn't do that with him being a missing-nin that was practically a taboo. If we were ever to be together, I had to leave Konoha. ...Leave! How could I do that? Even for someone as incredible as Itachi...how could I leave Konoha? It was all I knew, it was my life._

_It was the obvious decision. The smart girl decision. Itachi was dangerous, and Konoha were my safety gates...but also my retainer from him. Logically, I should have nothing to do with him. Nothing at all. But emotionally, he was my life force. How can you chose between the two? How?!  
_

_My spinning head was brought back to the surface, the entire group suddenly formed a group formation, heading towards Itachi._

_No!_

_....No!!_

_My mind screamed in protest, watching Itachi tense in retaliation. Images flashed through my head, Itachi wounded, limping away from the battle, me watching him leave, trying to tell myself I did the right thing._

_ What was the right thing? How could humans define right and wrong? Itachi may have done many, many wrong things...but me letting him die, all for some villages sake...how could anyone consider that right?  
_

_The group began attacking Itachi, not quite succeeding, though Naruto manged to land one punch across his face._

_And the next thing I knew..._

_I was running._

_Running to Itachi. Running from the village. _

_My heart was made up long ago, and even I could not define right and wrong. I could not live with myself if I let something happen to Itachi..and never be with him. I could not live with myself if I betrayed Konoha. But even as I thought that, the bright lights of Konoha...seemed to dim...  
_

_Konoha faded away. And that part of me died...fighting with tears and heart broken spasms as I ran further to him.  
_

_Itachi merely looked past the attacking mob, watching me. Breaking a little more with each step. _

_I screamed the name that I gave a part of me for, no longer concerned with Konoha.  
_

_"ITACHI!!!"_

----------------------------------------------

I clenched my fist, trying to erase the dark memories that reoccurred the more and more I thought of Konoha.

The look of pain and hurt as I stood behind Itachi, the moment they all realized where my heart truly laid. The knowledge that I was willingly betraying them...for Itachi. The same person that destroyed the Uchiha clan with such a betrayal...I was doing it all over again. And I will never forget their faces.

Believe me, I have tried.

Naruto, my own teammate!! Tsunade...everyone! How could I? But you must understand.... There was no good outcome for that day!

Even looking back, if I stayed in Konoha, I would have been miserable, perhaps worse off. And I know how miserable I am now. There was no perfect choice where I got out unscathed. To gain something of great price, a great price must be paid. And I did pay. Every day. I paid.

I caught Itachi's glaze and shifted my head to him, expecting him to look back forward, pretending as usual that he wasn't watching me, though this time, he kept staring at me. Eyes onyx.

I swear there are times where I wish I weren't mad at him. Like right now. All I see of Itachi is angry, crimson eyes. Eyes that send chills down my spine. Eyes that send warning to all who come in contact with him. Being in such a dangerous place, he always has sharingan activated.

I was taken back slightly by his gesture, and couldn't help but be slightly captivated by them. For me, his onyx eyes were more powerful than his sharingan ever would be. And yes, he knew that very well. We continued walking down the path, Itachi watching me, not even trying to hide it. He was so concerned. He knew that it hurt me. Konoha was a part of my life that was ripped out. A jagged wound that would never heal.

I let my guard drop slightly, wanting Itachi to support me like this. We left this place as a team, it was only fair he shield me from it as we came back. My green eyes hazed sadly, and that was all I could take from his powerful eyes. I stared down to the ground, crossing my arms across my body, holding myself. I could feel Itachi watch me even closer, and then I could hear a small sigh before his head turned back to the path as well.

"Don't give up on me....Itachi...." I whispered, very very very quietly. I'm not sure if Itachi even heard me or not, but just the fact that I said that...put a spark in myself. Then the famed Uchiha grinned plainly, alarming both me and Kisame. Of course I just wanted to sink into the ground and hide, though Kisame was not quite in on our communication that no one could even see was happening.

"Wait- you...what?! Sakura...Ita...Can someone _please _tell me what is going on?!"

Itachi turned his head with a, still entertained, face "Did you see anything happen?"

Kisame glared at his partner, and then glared at me.

Then back at Itachi.

Then at me again. Oh how I hated this process.

But...something happened today, on this long painful road to Konoha. And...I don't know just yet, but maybe....maybe there is a way out of this. Maybe I can be happy. I looked back at Itachi, who was right back to his expressionless self.

Itachi, you have got to save me!

---------------------

A/n: Yay! And thus the story begins....everyone like? I added in a bit of comic relief there in the end..well somewhat. I didn't expect it to be a roll on the floor and hack out your lungs kind of thing, but just enough to lighten the mood. This story is so tense!! But...it's good I think. Comment please and thank you?


	5. Chapter 5

"Sakura you traitor!" Naruto.

"No..You don't..You just don't understand I-"

"You betrayed us all, and for what?" Ino.

"But I-"

"We trusted you with so much." Shikamaru.

"I could never have known that it would-"

"Sakura you were my teammate, how could you?" Naruto.

"Naruto, I-"

"Sakura, I expected more from you.." Tsunade.

"Shishou I never wanted-"

"Get out of here Sakura. You disgust me." Tsunade.

"No don't make me-!!"

"GET OUT!!"

I shot up, breathing heavily with a sheen layer of sweat coating my forehead as if I were sick. My eyes bore down into the bed, shoulders heaving heavily still. That was...a nightmare? I slapped my hands to my face, pushing back my hair, trying to forcefully clear my head. This place would be the death of me!

"Just a nightmare Sakura. You are safe." It was Itachi's voice. I'm not sure how long he had been there, but at least for that moment he was beside the bed, sitting against it. There had been two beds in the room. One was automatically for me (put into play by none other than Itachi himself), which left the other one between two grown males. There was no way Kisame and Itachi would even consider sleeping closer than a full distance of 10 feet apart, and in the end Kisame got the other bed. Itachi knew that I didn't want him in my bed, so that left him sleeping on the floor. I almost pittied him and at one point decided it wouldn't be such a big deal to scootch over for him, but by the time I got up the nerve, Itachi had already fallen asleep.

The Uchiha must have moved closer after I crashed later in the evening. ...Clever.

Without even bothering to look up at him, mainly because I was still to petrified to be too snappy towards him, I whispered silently, wiping my hands across my face again, "Don't you ever get some sleep?" I exhaled deeply, trying to gain control over my sharp breaths.

"Perhaps more than you do apparently." Was his simple answer. Crimson eyes shot through the darkness and found me. Great. As if I didn't have enough to be afraid of? In most cases, I would have a more sharp answer to spit back at him, some sentence I forged specifically to cut through his emotional armor, though right now, I could only sigh and curl back onto the bed.

"Sakura, I know this is hard for you...we both know that Pein is just being temperamental, so if you want to stay at the hotel while we go onward into Konoha, I-"

"No." I cut him off. The idea was made out of pure compassion for me, something Itachi struggled with, but I didn't want it. "You can't leave me."

Itachi closed his eyes, pleased by my answer. As long as I needed him, he knew he held a chance to win me back. For such a wise, strong man, it seemed funny that he had to bank on something as frail as hope, but even he couldn't hide the fact that he held a weakness. A tricky little weakness that manifested itself in human form...

Me.

Though perhaps that is a bit too dramatic. In all fairness, he is my weakness too. He clearly has more control over himself than I do. He can tell me no, command me...but Itachi? There is no saying no to him. Tell yourself a way to do it, make a fool proof plan...but in the end, he just smiles and it all goes up in flames. Free will is only an illusion when you are with Itachi, yet, nothing you miss either. Well...unless you are me, that is.

I stared out into the window, luminated by the moonlight. "What time is it?" I whispered quietly, almost back to my normal self with a non racing heart rate.

"Almost 3:30 in the morning. You should get some rest Sakura." Itachi's voice was smooth and calm, his statement more of a command than request. Typical of him. I ignored it and continued looking out the window. It had been so long sense I had seen the moon like this. The Akatsuki place was so dark, like a cave almost. No windows, no touch from the outside world. And this wasn't just any place either. It clearly was Konoha. Very few villages could have such a serene view. Their locations cut off such things.

"Stubborn little..." Itachi mumbled lightly, unamused by my lack of obedience. Nothing he wasn't already used to however. I still refused to brake my gaze, "Itachi, don't you miss the moon? No other place shines like Konoha does..." I trailed off. He grew up in the same village. Surely he remembered the warm summer nights and the fun summer nights where all the kids would scatter across the lands with their friends, playing ninja or dress up, depending on sex.

"Honestly I can't recall it too much. You have to remember that a few years after I could start remembering things clearly, I was already on missions."

Oh right. Of course Itachi would have to ruin the moment with his depressing childhood. He didn't do it on purpose, but I very rarely got a positive response when it came to Konoha. I knew the truth behind the Uchiha assassination. Itachi one day broke and told me everything. No wonder he hated the place so much. With said moment destroyed, I laid down on the bed with a small smirk. Leave it to Itachi to be able to make even something as beautiful as the moon seem dim and undesirable.

I turned over on my side, eyes boring straight into the back of his head. His eyes were closed, his shoulders raising and falling lightly. Was he asleep? I watched him quietly for a few minutes, wondering why I had ever grown so angry with him. I innocently reached forward to touch his raven hair, not really even sure why. Probably just to touch him.

"Something you need Sakura?"

I flinched. He probably did that on purpose too. He just looked so peaceful.... I recoiled my hand again, giving a small sigh. Suddenly, I felt guilty again. He was on the floor, trying so hard to sleep, while I was on a comfy bed trying to avoid it. I decided that it wouldn't _kill_ me to try and be nice every once in a while, so I attempted to casually find a way to ask him if he wanted to join me, without it looking like I really cared. I didn't...did I? "Um..isn't it uncomfortable on the floor Itachi?"

He sighed with a shrug, "I've had worse." Of course you have. Super man Itachi refuses to admit any discomfort. I rolled my eyes at his macho man typical answer, and continued dancing around the ultimate question, "So _in theory_... you'd...rather be sleeping on a bed?" I stated my last few words slowly, hoping that I didn't blow cover.

His crimson eyes flashed open, and I could see a smirk at his lips. ...**Darn it!!** Why did I even...ug! I would have to say rude things for _weeks_ to destroy the embers that I just lit in his mind. I should have just went to sleep like he said!!

In the same moment that his face lit up, he asked in a voice that you could hear his smirk through, "...What.._exactly_...are you saying...Sakura?" His voice coated my name sweetly, almost mimickingly.

I clamped my eyes shut in misery. I will never be nice again. Ever!

"Sakura..." his voice sang, telling me to open my eyes.

He was right. freakin'. there. In my face, staring at me with those eyes. He was turned around, leaning comfortably on the bed with his chest across the base of the mattress. I could feel my face heat up, something that hadn't happened in...well sense I decided to hate Itachi. Almost a year ago.

Itachi watched me, soaking in each moment he had been missing for so long. "Sakura, is there something you were saying?" His voice was still sweet, coaxing me to continue, though at the same time flaunting the fact that my armor just cracked.

"NO!" I hissed, flipping to the other side of the bed as quickly as speed would allow. Itachi's grip flipped me back around, and he lightly grabbed my chin, pulling me towards him. "Sakura, I implore you.._please_ go on..." his lips brushed against mine as he spoke, his closed eyes, curved in pleasure. My will cracked around me, wishing so much to just give in and allow myself to fall back under his spell. It would be so easy..but he had to know! He had to know that he hurt me and that he would pay...and if I gave in and caved, who would tell him?

Itachi drew circles on my lips lightly, sending my mind back to the times where we would give ourselves to each other on nights like this. ...Love. Back to when we..or, when I was still in love with Itachi. My face reddened even more, then was brought back to surface from Itachi's voice.

"You blushing yet?" Itachi's smirk became even more pronounced at my gasp, because as usual he was right. And my face darkened even more after that. Curses he was too smart for his own good. Itachi leaned forward,aligning his face against mine, taking in my scent I'm guessing. He still spoke against my lips, knowing very well my mind was spinning. "Just tell me what you want, and I'll stop." His deal sounded so simple, yet that required a major pride adustment. I didn't even _want_ him on the bed with me...but at this point, I'd tell him anything to make it so I could think clearly again.

"Itachi...I" My voice was audibly shaking, causing Itachi to give a full smile. He loved this. Me being so wrapped up around him. But I wasn't. I was just being nice. ...At least..that's what I kept telling myself.

"You gotta say it Sakura.." he stated, putting my mind back on track. I picked up where I left off, just wanting to make him stop touching me. It wasn't inappropriate at all, especially considering the fact we had slept together numerous times...it's just the fact that I was responding to his embrace so..quickly and easily. I didn't try to push his hands off my face or pull back when his lips were so close to mine. I couldn't think like this. It sent my head spinning, and if I wasn't careful, I could easily destroy everything I had built to protect myself from him.

"I...want you to.." I continued, stuttering and barely able to put words together in a sentance. Itachi purred, "You want me to what, Sakura?" I thought very hard, trying to concentrate my runaway mind into submission. What did I want him to do again...?

"I want you to...sleep with me?" I stated. I knew that was the general idea of what he wanted me to say, though as soon as I said that my mind snapped back, now registering what I had requested exactly. I backpedaled as quickly as I could manage, "I mean, on the same bed...WAIT no! I mean..." I groaned and fell back onto the pillow, burring my face from Itachi, who no doubt was inwardly exploding with laughter.

A different, familiar voice broke through the night air, alarming me into pure embarrassment, and making Itachi smirk again at how well the moment played out in the end.

"Will you two _kindly_ shut up! I'm trying to sleep here, and the last thing I need is for you two to be doing god knows what while you send her screaming to the top of her lungs!" Kisame glared at Itachi, then rolled over away from the couple "God I thought you two hated eachother..._clearly_ I was mistaken. Damn." Kisame shifted again a few times more before all was quiet again.

If I said I was red before, I was lying. Now I was red. Very red. Perhaps the most embarrassed I have ever been in my entire life to be exact. I was simply trying to think of Itachi, and in the end it got to where Kisame believes that we were on the verge of having sex while he was in the room! ...Simply put, I hate my life.

I glared at Itachi, who was climbing up over the edge of the bed, more than obviously trying not to laugh "I hate you." I whispered with vengeance, causing him to smirk even more. Even I knew that I didn't mean it that time, but it was the first thing that came to mind. "You even look at me funny and I am throwing you off the balcony." I warned him, almost daring him to see if I was lying.

He rolled his eyes, and laid close beside me, pulling me closer to him. I snapped my head to him, "What did I just-" He placed a finger on my lips, a small laugh mixing with his words, "For a girl that just asked me to sleep with her, I'd say I'm being fairly nice." It was then my turn to roll my eyes. I can't believe he was holding that against me. "You know what I meant, jerk." He wrapped his arms around me, where I was placed in the familiar placement of his hold and body. I complained away of course, though Itachi knew better than to listen to my words when my body language and relaxed muscles told him I was more than happy to be so close against him again.

"Sakura." He interrupted my complaints, "Get some sleep. You're already going to be angry at me in the morning, might as well have the rest of the night to plot." I rolled my eyes, whatever you say Itachi.. Though it wasn't soon after that, that I did actually fall asleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I slowly awoke, automatically smiling. It felt like I had slept in stage four for almost a straight year. I hadn't gotten sleep like that in months. And I had the strangest dream too. I dreamed that somehow I invited Itachi up on the bed with me and that Kisame actually woke up-

As I rehashed through the dream, I became instantly aware of the two strong, and familiar feeling arms wrapped up against my waist. I could feel my body so close to someone else's body. There was no mistaking the unforgettable hold that had held my all these past nights. Itachi. Dream huh? ..I was going to kill him.

My lips tightened slightly, and I wasn't sure if I should sit there and let my blood boil, or jump up and attempt to beat him senseless. Itachi, most likely feeling every muscle I had tense, woke up almost seconds after I did. He released his hold and sat up, instantly awake as any trained ninja would be.

Much more than you could say for me. I was tied up in knots and various twists in the sheets that made it almost impossible for me to escape the hold of the bed. Itachi watched me with amusement as I fumbled my way out of the bed, much resembling a fish on dry land I'm sure.

"Say one word and I will....I don't know what I'll do, but I will do something!" I threatened, finally managing to stand on the wood floor.

"Morning." Itachi stated, selecting a single word to put me in my place.

I crossed my arms, popping out a hip in frustration "You played a dirty trick last night Itachi."

He smiled in fond memory of the previous night, obviously happy that I brought it up. "Now now Sakura, I'm not the one that started it up. You felt bad for me, didn't you?" He walked towards me, and I immediately wished that I hadn't said anything. He probably _had _been planning all night as to how to smooth the situation over. If anyone could, it was him...and he was making heck of a start.

I backed up, not a smart move but it worked pretty well....until I met a wall. "I...uh..." I fumbled for an excuses. He was right, wasn't he? I never had to say anything to begin with. And though I continued battling with myself, I was quickly drawn to the fact that Itachi was still coming and I had no where to go. Next thing I knew, his arms were up against the wall, conering me further. His tone wasn't harsh, but definitely authoritative.

"Now Sakura, listen up. You love me. You may have been able to mask it for this past year and tell yourself you hate me, but you know, deep down that-"

The door creaked open, not even alarming Itachi. He still stared at me tensely, though addressed the person "Kisame, I am talking to Sakura. It is of great importance. Give us a few minutes please."

Kisame grumbled, "Yeah..._talking_...sure you are. I've heard that before Itachi... I'll be back in ten minutes. You kiddies enjoy your 'talk' " And the door creaked shut again. I blushed again, though Itachi just smiled at the response of his partner. He was being rather gracious to the drama between us, considering what he could be doing. Itachi stared at me for a few more seconds, before continuing his talk.

"Sakura." Itachi repeated, I looked back up at him, wondering why I was still listening to his presumptuous words...that strangely...seemed correct..

"Deep down Sakura, you still love me..."

My eyes widened, me....love...? No, I couldn't possibly, I had stopped loving him long ago, I couldn't...it was just one night. Nothing had changed between him and I.

"Itachi, you are being...I don't...you know I don't...Itachi!" his eyes read me carefully as I spoke each word. And his face...I wish you could see it. In a word? Begging. He wanted so badly for me to just give up the fight and collapse into his arms. But....I didn't love him...did I? I was so sick of doubting myself! Though one look into his eyes, and I questioned it all. I...just might...love him. I will admit that I liked him...but loved...maybe.

"Itachi...I..I" I stuttered. He watched me, leaning closer to me. Praying that I would say that I did love him. And perhaps I would too..

When Kisame came through the door. I took advantage of the two second distraction and ducked beneath Itachi's arm and exited as quickly as possible. I was suddenly crying. And I could hear Itachi behind me too. He sighed, leaning against the wall as if he just lost the most precious thing he owned.

Kisame watched me exit the room with a laugh, "Wow! You two get dressed so fast, I was afraid for a moment that I would have to keep my eyes shut... uh...Itachi... you ok?"

I didn't stick around for the answer, I already knew it. He was not ok. And neither was I. I was out of the room, and out of the hotel. Back in Konoha. Away from Itachi. Right back to where it all began...

---------------

A/N: Ok Zillions of apologies guys!!! Don't be angry at me I know it's been like a month. But I have had so much to do, one of my sisters got married, and today is my b-day (Happy 17th Kali!) and..well you get it. I hope you guys like this chapter. Things are finally making their turn around for our dear Sakura and Itachi. Well sort of. Not looking to bright at the moment though. ill try to keep updating more frequently.. Comment please!!!


	6. Chapter 6

I wasn't running away...Really! I wasn't! ...Where would I runaway to anyhow? Back into the office? Watch them spill their coffee all over each other in shock? Oh, maybe my house? Yeah...I'm sure my parents would _love_ to see me again

"Hi Sakura! So how's your forbidden love life going? I heard things got difficult after you betrayed the entire country. ...Wanna help me in the garden before you go?"

I laughed slightly at my crude sense of humor, walking through the forests surrounding Konoha. I really couldn't go into the city itself...far too many people would recognize me. If word got around that Sakura Haruno was back...Gosh I have no clue what would happen. It wouldn't surprise me if they all thought I was under a genjutsu when I ran for Itachi. They perhaps were eagerly waiting my return, claiming me to be a hero. But even if that was the case...I wouldn't go back. I know the truth about my choices. I wan under no genjutsu, I flat out chose Itachi.

------

_"Sakura."_

_"Shishou?"_

_"I am giving you a new mission. You are the best for the job. Undercover intelligence...Interested?"_

_"Don't make it sound all sappy like that. We both know I will go whether I want to or not...Now what is it? A person, a mysterious happening? Is it in Konoha?" _

_"Person. Uchiha Itachi." My eyes narrowed as Tsunade continued, "I want you to know his past, present, location, everything."_

_"Shishou...Is this an order from you...or from Root?" Tsunade knew how I felt about them. I hated them. Danzo and his other dark followers. She didn't like them either, but things in the village always seemed to 'mysteriously' flow better in the village when Tsunade gave them some say about things. I knew this was just another one of the things that she didn't really have a choice over. In attempt to make it seem casual, she shrugged her shoulders, brushing it off really_

_"They are curious about him.."_

_I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I was so sick of this. The Root...a truly dark, sinister group. They were established from the very beginning of Konoha, made to help govern the people before the hokage system was perfected. But have you ever tried to do a background check on them? I have, and I'll save you the time. You find nothing. No history of past decisions, no documentation, no fileing about past or present members, nothing. It didn't even make sense! Every organization had some story, history..something... And when they didn't? You can automatically assume something is very wrong. Just the fact that they have been around so long makes it even more suspicious to those who know what to look for. They should have something....anything! And their infatuation with the Uchiha's were unnerving!_

_I gave a dramatic sigh, "I'll do it- But I am not happy about this. The Root has got to get over them, neither of the two Uchihas have stepped foot in this village sense Sasuke left! It's getting ridiculous!" I gave another huff of a sigh to calm myself down, grabbing the mission report from Tsunade's hands, "This is a high risk situation, considering Uchiha Itachi is involved. How much time did they decide to give me to dig around?"_

_Tsunade gave a weak smile, trying to continue to smooth the situation over so I wouldn't complain too much. No doubt she had already tried to recall the mission, though obviously couldn't in the end. "They are giving you two full months. Go where you want...you have unlimited resources so ask and it's yours. The only thing you can't have is a partner. It's already going to be difficult to hide the fact that we have someone looking for him, let alone two people."_

_I didn't care too much about not having a partner. I preferred it that way anyways. Maybe I could use this time to dig up things about Root as well? With no partner, there would be no one to question what I was doing. This entire mission screamed suspicious. The mission report was labeled top priority, and I was given two full months...not even having to check back on Konoha? Unlimited resources also meant no rules. I could literally go on a killing spree and no one would even raise a brow. All of this over one man that hasn't troubled us in years?_

_"And what do you want me to do if I should run into Itachi?"_

_"You figure it out. You got two full months for a no fail mission. If you find nothing, that just means he isn't up to anything. Though of course, anything you can figure out would be beneficial."_

_I nodded, already beginning to plan where I would start my search, "And when am I expected to leave?"_

_Tsunade stood up, looking out her wide sun window, "You see the sky? At sundown Root expects you to be gone."_

_That was a rather poetic way of saying 'now'. I also noticed how she said the Root expected me gone. That was her way of saying that it wasn't her decision. As stated above, I have no doubts she is as equally annoyed with this mission as I am. Tsunade then walked over to the large filing cabinet, shifting through it until she pulled out a thick, creme colored folder. _

_"This is Itachi's file. Top. Secret." She emphasized and continued, "Anything you can add to it will be reviewed by Root and then taken into further analogy. Be safe, and I'll expect your report in my office two months from now."_

_With a nod, I dismissed myself back into the streets of Konoha, heading back to my house. As I turned the door handle, an annoying voice stung my ears from the inside of the house. _

_"Sakura is that you?"_

_I tried not to slam the door shut. Everything about her annoyed me. Even her voice annoyed me. "Yes mom!" I yelled back to her location...most likely the garden._

_"Sakura you want to come help me in the garden? All it needs is the female touch and-"_

_"No mom...I'm kinda busy!" I once again shouted back across the house, looking for my backpack._

_Her voice was just as nasly as always, but now a bit more from her obvious disapproval "...Sakura are you going on those play ninja missions again?"_

_See. This is why she annoys me. I am a top ninja, trained by one of the legendary sannin, assistant to the hokage...and she claims all I do is play ninja all day, when I should be 'helping her in the garden' My lack of response told her my answer, and she immediately began rambling off the same speech I always received when I told her I was off for another mission._

_"When I was your age Sakura-" Oh lord here we go... "We girls were hard workers! We made clothes, grew plants, and overall added some beauty to Konoha. We didn't have time to play games all day. We knew what was expected of us...and heavens to Betsy, we always got it done! You could learn a thing or two from your mama Sakura! ...Now how about you get back here n'.. toss me those lettuce seeds?"_

_I cried back in despair, wondering why I ever decided there were benefits to living with her, "MOM!! I have to go, the hokage gave me a very important mission!"_

_"Of course she did sweety. So where you off to now? -Wait, wait let me guess! You are off to save the world! You will go from village to village until you find what you need and save the day just before a meteor crashes into the earth. ...You ninjas sure do keep busy these days." she mocked, not ever really understanding that I truly was a ninja...maybe not saving the world...but I was busy..And I WAS a ninja!!_

_I snapped back, "Well for your information, I WILL be going from village to village! There! What do you think of that?!"_

_"Well I think I will be having a serious talk with you during dinner. We have got to discuss your lazy work ethic!"_

_I felt somewhat triumphant, swinging my backpack on "No you won't!! I WON'T see you at Dinner...And you won't be seeing me for two whole months. Good bye!" I smirked and slammed the door shut behind me. ...That went better than usual..._

_I left Konoha, nose buried in Itachi's file, awestruck and amazed. Never failed a mission...and he never went on any D ranked missions? Huh. Even his very first mission was a C rank. Head of Anbu at 13?! This was incredible! ...But why would they throw that all away? I wished that they had put in a photo or something though. I had never met Itachi before...I had no clue what he even looked like!  
_

_A few weeks passed by. No luck really. I did go to village to village, trying to find the roughest group of people, in hopes that they would know anything about Itachi, or even Akatsuki in general. No luck at all. __Especially when I didn't even have a photo of the guy. So many people had heard of the name and asked me what he looked like. I always managed looked like a complete fool. 'Uh....I don't really know to be honest...I was hoping you would know...'__ That usually lost them. They would give me a glazed over look until one usually would say something along the lines of, 'Buy you a drink Ms?' As said, I gained nothing. I still had a month and a full week to try to figure things out about Itachi. And I still didn't know what he looked like!! Though unless I ran into the man himself, I knew I wouldn't find anything. As if someone like Itachi would be dumb enough to just leave information about himself out in the open? I could only wish._

_I ended up in a strange, desolate city I had never even heard of before. Many people warned me not to come, said to be bad place to be for lone travelers....exactly the kind of place I was looking for. I walked into the local pub, slightly uneasy. True, I wanted to find the worst of the worst, because they had the best chances of being connected to other villains like Itachi, but I really hated pubs and bars. I didn't drink, so the smell of alcohol made me queasy, and the drunk men were always crowding me as if I were the last female on earth. As I walked in, the place hushed and everyone stared at me. Never a good sign. Everyone except for one person had their gaze fixed on me, so that person was the one I ended up sitting by. They were facing the wall entirely, staring at the jukebox I was assuming. No matter. The less eyes staring at me the better I felt. The bartender looked at me with interest, and I could almost feel the vile things he was thinking just by the look on his face._

_"Whad'll ya have Ms.? It's on the house, and just so you know, I get off in an hour." Oh dear lord, someone save me._

_"Uh...I'll just have water...bottled water." I wasn't stupid enough to let this creep pour me any drink and put god knows what in it.  
_

_He flashed me a wink, "Sure thing sugar." I tried not to gag.  
_

_The man beside me gave a small laugh, amused by my being attack by the bar tender. I shifted my gaze to the mans back, "Are all men so frightening?"_

_His voice was still amused, "Well that depends on what you consider frightening doesn't it?"_

_I couldn't help but smile, "...Touche!" The bartender slid the water bottle down the counter. Written across the label? His address and the message, "I'll see you there." I really considered not drinking the water, just in case, but after careful inspection, decided that it was safe for consumption._

_The man shrugged one shoulder, as if pointing to my water bottle. "Not a big drinker huh?"_

_I took a small sip of my safe, non alcoholic drink, shaking my head, "No, not really. Honestly I've never tried alcohol before. I am positive it would just make me sick..."_

_The man nodded from the other side "I see. You from around here?"_

_I almost spewed out my water in attempt not to laugh "Heavens no! I'm on official business from Konoha!" I seemed to announce that, not purposly, just the thought of being around here was so insane, I had to explain my reasoning if only to protect my reputation._

_The man turned towards the counter slowly, grabbing his drink and taking a small sip. He stayed facing the counter, not really interested in me that much. Not like I was complaining. Though I did take the time to put a face to the mystery man I had been talking to. He had raven hair, coal eyes, and a nice body. Don't worry, no ideas here. Just a fact more than anything else. He set down the small glass and then faced me, seeming to...read me, if that makes any sense. He seemed to take in every move I made. Rather unnerving actually. "And what is this official business?" he asked, completely casual._

_I had no problems telling him. I had planned on asking him any how, so it just saved me time in the end. "I'm trying to do some background research. Ever heard of the Akatsuki?" Flat out. I could usually tell if they were lying to me when I asked a direct question like that. _

_The man smirked, holding the small vile and shaking its contents "I might have. Who hasn't?" _

_I nodded in agreement, though inwardly disagreed. Most people gave me a deranged look and would repeat 'Who?' as if I were crazy for even asking. Few people heard of them, villagers wise. Maybe this wasn't just a villager? I hadn't considered the possibility that he wasn't a local. He could be a traveler too, or, he could be a ninja like I was. Most ninjas had indeed heard of them, so it wasn't too out of line._

_"So you're a ninja then?" I stated it as if I already had known, hoping he wouldn't call my bluff._

_The man continued with his grin as if it were some joke I hadn't been let in on "You could say that I suppose."_

_That was just as indirect as my own question! He really wasn't that helpful was he? Maybe if I was more open, he would be too? What did I have to loose anyhow?_

_"Well I'm actually looking for a specific member really...not the entire organization."_

_He took another sip, shifting his gaze to me "I see...and which one suits your tastes?" His gaze on me was intense, though at the same time casual. It was like the atmosphere was light, but the air around us was tense. I wasn't sure how much I really wanted to say around him. It was like he had a mental journal of everything I did. Regardless my doubts, I stated the name with confidence._

_"Uchiha Itachi." And at the name, the entire bar died down dramatically. Yes, this was very much so the right place to be. If this guy couldn't help me, surely one of the other men could.._

_The man took a small gaze into the room, lightly shaking his head, the same grin on his face, only now more pronounced. "Really? Why him?" _

_I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, "To be completely honest I have no clue! I don't see why they have me on such a crazy mission, seems rather suspicious to me actually."_

_He continued watching me, eyes narrowed as if I had said the most interesting of things, "Ah, but didn't he make some offense against your village, if memory serves?"_

_I somewhat waved my hand, showing how important it was to me. "Yeah, long long time ago. If you ask me, there is some truth behind it...something that people don't know. I don't really know what they want to find out about the guy, but that's what I decided to go after."_

_He gave a half sickened smile, "Truth? And what would you do if you did find out this truth, and it isn't at all what you expected?"_

_I was somewhat confused by what he was saying. Why would it matter? Truth was still truth, no matter what. He continued, probably sensing the fact that I was confused_

_"People only believe what they want to. They would never assume things are any different from what they automatically believed, that would be too difficult...too painful for their self created utopia. As long as it fits what they want to hear, it is truth. They won't ask questions if it makes them happy. They have automatic assumptions, nothing more."_

_I stared down into the table, amazed by what this random stranger said. Though I didn't quite get what he was referring to, he was right. People were so contempt now, they would believe anything as long as it didn't affect their way of life and thinking. But...I wasn't like that. That's why I was a ninja. I wanted to reform the corruption that had spread across Konoha. It all revolved around the truth..or whatever it was._

_"But I'm not like-"_

_He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. Was it sympathy, or just indifference? "But you are. Even now you are."_

_"I...I don't follow.."_

_"That because you too,have made your ideas in your little reality, and nothing else can penetrate that. But don't feel bad, that isn't to put you down. Every one does. Even I do. For example, You sat down, assuming you were talking with a local villager most likely. A harmless chat with a harmless person, nothing more. You never imagined that you could be talking to anyone important, anyone dangerous...that wouldn't be normal, so clearly, it could never happen. Am I right?"_

_I could barely nodd, I was so shocked. He really was watching me, reading me, like a book. ...Just who was this guy?_

_"That was your truth, the same truth that everyone has set for themselves. A web of preconceived ideas, and generally, what makes sense in the perimeters we set in our minds. In the end, it just traps us... But you say you are different, so now I will tell you the real truth about what you assumed what just a normal chat about the man you are looking for, Itachi.."_

_"I am Itachi."_

_--------_

_A/N:_ Yay for another puzzle piece! We finally know how they first met. There will be a bunch more flashbacks coming up, which of course is rather exciting to me. Oh and I tried to update sooner for you all. Sorry last chapter took about a year. Comments for the poor?


	7. Chapter 7

_"You...YOU are...Ita..I don't...This doesn't even...You are Itachi??"_

_He merely stood up, leaving me to ponder. His smirk was gone, replaced with a cold emotionless front. He began walking out, and for a moment I just sat there, wowed by the entire situation. The second I snapped back into reality, I chased after him barely remembering to leave money on the counter. I almost physically slammed into him when he stopped moving just outside the door. He didn't even look at me, though was clearly addressing me anyways. _

_"Why are you following me?"_

_I couldn't help but let my mouth drop open slightly. Wasn't it obvious? He was Itachi...my mission. Everything there was to know about him, the secret to the past...it was all so close. As if I wouldn't follow him? I gave my answer quickly, "I'm on a mission. I can't let you go."_

_He turned towards me, rather amused seemingly, "Are you going to try to force me back to Konoha?" _

_I once again stared at him, with a rather dumb look on my face. He must think of me a pure idiot by this point. "..No... I'm just after..." There was no way I would try to fight him. I read his file. Even his kid self would not be a good turn out, let a lone the adult Itachi that could kill me in a blink of his eyes._

_"After the truth?"_

_I tried to sober up my wavering emotions. I stood up straight, hoping to have a more confident stance in front of him. A pure bluff, but appearances were important. "Yes. What's wrong with that?"_

_He gave a small sigh, shifting his gaze to the ground and closed his eyes. Even though he had closed eyes, the air around him seemed to slow and tense with his shift in thought, "You only think you want to know the truth girl. Trust me when I say you are better of__f without it. Just live in your happy dream world where everything is simple." He gave a light pause, and added in, "where everything makes sense.."  
_

_I couldn't help but feel a small tug of....compassion.. for him. He didn't seem to be a ruthless killer.. there had to be something behind it all! I knew there was. He pretty much blateantly admitted it, just failed to say what it was. ...What if I could help him? Set the record straight and clear his name if he wasn't what the story said he was? "Itachi-san please...I can help you." I carefully added San onto his name, respectfully. I would be willing to be his friend if he would just open up some. Put myself at risk for the name of Konoha..  
_

_His eyes shot open, a small glare boring into my own eyes. Fear. Instantly. I was afraid of him. "You. You help me? ...You really don't know anything at all if you believe that I am the one that is in need of help." He turned slightly, beginning to walk off into the night streets of the dangerous city._

_I, once again, followed after him "Itachi-san, please don't go! I-" though at my voice, his figure disappeared into thin air. No trace of his chakra, nothing. Itachi was gone. And with him went all of my hope for having a successful mission._

_It frustrated me. Made me somewhat annoyed with myself. I could've tried harder to keep him there, not made so many bold statements. Perhaps try to work charm and make him enjoy my company...anything! Though what frustrated me the most was a different emotion I was feeling. One that I had to business feeling. I was hurt. I wanted his acceptance. I wanted him to see that I was different that most people and that I would help him if I could. But in the end, he practically laughed at me. Saying I needed help and not him. _

_Why that hurt me? Simple. Because he was right, and we both knew that. He knows the truth, the story behind the story that no one else seems to care about, and if he knows it and still can say that he is better off... than how bad did that make me? I couldn't help but sigh at that thought._

_ I was slightly jealous too. Itachi was free because of that truth. Now granted I can only imagine the penalties from such decisions, but his persona didn't scream psychopath that got kicked out of a village. He was normal, mysterious...your average guy. If there was one thing for certain, I had a month and a weeks worth of vacation time, because there was no way I would find anything out about Itachi unless he was face to face again._

_I walked down to the nearest hotel and booked a room for myself. Still annoyed. At Itachi, at that stupid bar tender (I was determined to blame my every mishap in life on him) and most of all, me. I walked into the room, setting down my bag roughly. I walked to the bay window and stepped outside, staring down into the streets of the darkened city. I tried to stare aimlessly, perhaps attempting to stare my problems away, watching all the people cross through the busy streets. How simple their lives must be, just walking around day to day...no hokages yelling for reports by the minute and missions and..._

_My eyes jetted downward, no longer just gazing, but now focusing. Concentrating. Two Men. Wearing Akatsuki cloaks. My mind began spinning, trained ninja analysis taking is course. Of course. Itachi wouldn't just be walking the streets because. Too risky. He must be on some sort of mission himself. I corrected myself, grabbing my bag off the ground and running through the halls. Not a mission, a gathering. Akatsuki was planning something again, and they were all headed to the same place. That means I could find Itachi again! ..Yes, as long as I marked my distance from them...I could find him again._

_I ran into the streets, beginning my pursuit. I couldn't help but smile. Talk about luck....and bad luck at the same time. No sane human being would willingly chase after the Akatsuki if they had an option. Unless you are me of course. I gave a smirk at that. I bet Itachi thought I wouldn't make it.._

_I followed them. The two of them._

_Akasuna no Sasori and his partner._

_I followed them for an eternity._

_To be precise however, 37 hours. I would know. Sasori would not stop complaining about it the entire journey. If it weren't for the fact that I was remaining covert, I would have said something to the impatient brat but decided, adding in the fact that he was an S-ranked criminal, it best to hold my peace. _

_They ended up in a dark, cave like location. After sensing all the chakras, making sure everyone was assembled inside, I carefully entered, lowing my chakra levels to bare minimum so I couldn't be traced. I was slightly scared and anxious. I was in the same place as perhaps the most dangerous men in the entire known ninja world. If they saw me, they would kill me. Simple as that. Though in a strange way....I was ok with that. I was going to find this story out. Forget the mission. Forget Root. There was something behind it all, and there was no way I would die as one of the ignorant people Itachi spoke of._

_"Alright members."_

_The deep voice echoed through the giant dark cathedral room, calling all members, even myself, into attention. I gave a tiny, tiny sigh. Careful to keep all traces of myself at a low._

_"You all know why you are here today, and I'd prefer not to waste time either. So lets get started."_

_My ears perked in interest. Getting to know plans of the Akatsuki? Gold mine. I could take this back to Konoha and protect ourselves...ultimately put a dead stop to this organization. Always a step ahead. This would protect Naruto, and the entire city from future raids. This was perfect!_

_"But first-" A tiny pause. "We've got to take care of the stow-a-way" The voice was right. beside. me. I tensed slightly, struggling to see in the dark. The man's voice seemed to get closer, softer in a...mimicking way. "Just how did you get here little girl?" And with that, I was drug further into the room. I was terrified, and it was clearly showing. There wasn't exactly a written manual over "What to do when things literally cannot get any worse" The man- who I assumed to be the leader of the group pulled me into the center of the room, various sets of eyes reacting differently. Some didn't change at all, others narrowed in annoyance at the pathetic person that dared enter, while others curved in amusement. One's that caught my eyes though? Crimson. They stared into me deeply, seeming to communicate without words. Itachi. No doubt about it._

_The man- who I assumed to be the leader, shoved me to the ground and kept me down with a foot on my neck. "So why are you here exactly? I can tell you are afraid, you know you are way over your head huh? Not too bright to come, who are you exactly?" I could see him staring down into me, actually expecting an answer. "Um..Haruno... Haruno Sakura.." I sqeaked out miraculoulsly. How I mangaed to find my voice through all the shaking and mental images of my death was far beyond me. The man seemed to smile as he pressed his foot further into my neck, cutting off my airways. He looked around the room to the members, speaking loudly, quite amused "Does anyone here know about this Haruno Sakura?" The men laughed in response, while I clawed at his shoe as I began to draw in empy spasms for air. _

_"Yes." The voice, smooth and connected, was Itachi's. _

_At that, I was freed from my prison and I shot up, coughing and breathing deeply as if I hadn't in years. Ignoring me intirely, the entire group stared at Itachi, who was merely focused on me. Quite the opposite of when I had first met him._

_The leader pulled me upward violently, as if unaware of his own strength. "Who is she Itachi?" His voice wasn't as merry as before. Not sharp either. Almost a warning so it seemed. It sent chills down my spine._

_The crimson eyes closed, and I could feel his smirk almost. _

_"My girlfriend."_

_A gasp came from everyone in the room quite dramatically, even from my own self. His....girlfriend? _

_Itachi stepped forward, explaining his reasoning's to the members as to his choice apparently. "Her name is Sakura. She is from Konoha, to be precise, Tsunade's right hand. I told her to come today and hear our plans, make sure she can keep Konoha from intervening. As for side bonuses She is a medical ninja, expert analyst, highly perceptive in undercover work-" _

_Itachi continued walking towards me, now all eyes focused on me. "And besides all of that, she has a terrific ass." Itachi pulled me forward against his body tightly, arms wrapped around my waist as he leaned down and kissed my lips. The guys all laughed darkly, enjoying the two second display of affection no doubt.  
_

_ ... ..... .........I really wish I could dialogue my thoughts at this point. I do. But an S ranked criminal kissing me in such a manner to save my life, using some insane story that is flawless..and he pulled out from thin air...well that just not something that I can sum up in a few words. But in attempt? Adrenaline like you wouldn't believe..  
_

_The leader gave a sharp look at Itachi and I, seeing if it was real, and quickly gave a nod. "Welcome to the Akatsuki, Sakura. I appologize for the rough behavior with her Itachi, though next time, just tell me she is here and I won't act so drastically with her." Itachi's eyes shifted to the leader "Of course." He looked back at me and gave me a very direct look that can be translated into 'Play along or we are both going down' and he pulled me back to his original spot. And with that, the leader continued on with his plans._

_After a meeting that I could barely remember because of my spinning head and rampid wild thoughts, I snapped back at an_

_"Ok you are free for the day, I'll see you back at 8 o'clock sharp tomorrow. And Itachi-" Itachi looked up at him attentively_

_"Bring your girlfriend. I'd like to know what is going on with Konoha seems how you will be needing to check on the 9 tails soon."_

_"Certainly, right Sakura?"_

_I struggled to keep a facade for my sake and Itachi's "Uh, yeah... No problem..."_

_And with a nodd, Itachi was pulling me out of the dark cave, hand laced through my own. Though the second we were far enough distance from everyone else, his hand was gone, replaced with angry crimson eyes. He faced me, anger clearly proncounced on his face. "Alright now. Talk."_

_Talk? Me? "You should be doing the explaining here, not me! How did you know any of that stuff about me?! I didn't even tell you my name that day and here you are pulling out details about my daily life!"_

_He kept his hard glare, annoyed by me questioning him, "It's my job to know these things! With you being so close to Tsunade it's hard not to know about you and your abilites. But what forced you to follow up the Akatsuki, that's what I want to know Ms. Haruno Sakura."_

_I rolled my eyes, "Well seems how we are dating, it's Sakura ok? And if you did know me that well, you would know that I don't give up so easily anymore. I have got to find out the truth behind it all Itachi- koi" My tone was soured by the end, which I suppose is rather stupid of me. It was easy to forget the power he had, especially with my emotions telling me to use my words to fight for the death._

_He sighed, visually trying to calm himself down, "You should've just stayed there and enjoyed your vacation Sakura. You don't belong tangled up in this world."_

_"And you do?" Itachi was no different than I was. What made him so special?_

_He looked down at the ground, shaking his head. "There are things you don't understand Sakura."_

_"Help me understand!!"  
_

_"Sakura, trust me. These are things you don't want to understand."_

_Itachi began to walk off, and this time, I resentfully followed him. "So...what's the plan exactly Itachi?"_

_He rolled his eyes, not enjoying how casual I was with him. I was afraid of him...but at the same time, I wasn't. I saw something in him. A warm side to him, a gentle side that I brought out in him. He didn't like that too much I think. "Well you have what? A month and a week? You can't exactly leave by yourself now that we are 'dating' so I'll just go with you back to Konoha checking up on Naruto, and dropping you back off to Tsunade so you can play the double agent role."_

_I paused mid step, "You don't...actually...expect me to do that do you? I mean, talk about Konoha and all. I....it's top secret stuff you know and.."_

_"We'll have to figure it out. But no sense stressing now. I'm just going to get a room and sleep. Don't do anything stupid Sakura. The second you leave and you are dead."_

_"I know..." _

_Itachi did exactly what he said he would. He walked to a nearby city, and booked a hotel room. One bed. I couldn't help but glare at him as I began to ponder his plans for the night. Because we really weren't dating. It was just a show. He couldn't possibly think I would... My face continued to contort as I debated with myself what his level of integrity was._

_ He gave a slight smile, "Don't worry, don't worry. I'm not going to rape you in the night." He grabbed a pillow off the bed and laid against the back wall, still laughing at my over reactive face. I tried to glare at him, though was more embarrased than anything else and shuffled into the bed to hide from his gaze._

_One thought though, kept coming back over and over, nagging me with curiosity, _

_"...Itachi?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"...Why did you do all of this? Why did you save me?"_

_"Goodnight Sakura." His voice was displeased, and it made me feel slightly guilty for asking. I should just be grateful and get over it....but a part of me...wanted it to be more than just a 'it was the right thing to do' I wanted him to say he liked me. It didn't have to be in a girlfriend way. Just to know that Itachi thought I was worth saving as a friend though...even that would be enough for me._

_I gave a small sigh, trying not to let my mind wander too far so I could get some rest._

_"...Goodnight Itachi."_

_---------------------  
_

_A/N: I know I know it took forever. No promises. Schools going to be staring back up, band, church camp next week, whole 9 yards. Life is busy ok? Comment please. It will make me happy.  
_


	8. Chapter 8

_"Get up."_

_The deep, smooth voice cut through my sleep and I slowly opened my eyes. Two slitted crimson eyes bored through me from the other side of the room, and slightly smoothed as he saw me gradually waking._

_"Over sleeping like this will make both of us late. If you must exert yourself into my life, the least you could do is wake up on time."_

_I groggily pushed the hair from my face and squinted unpleasantly through the darkness, not really picking up on what was being said._

_"...What time is it?.." I slurred out tiredly, positive that he had mentioned something to do with the time._

_"It's 3:42 AM." That made me think, which was very difficult for me in the mornings. It always took a few minutes before things started making sense to me, but I knew that something about that time was very wrong. Finally, after serious concentration mind you, I realized what the problem was._

_"..But it's still so early...it's dark out..." Looking back, I am sure I sounded incredibly unintelligent, but at the time my reasoning made perfect sense. He seemed to sigh, his blood red eyes closing as he responded, "We have a meeting to attend in less than an hour."_

_I gave a sleep deprived groan and tore my body up from the comfortable bed. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, shifting awake; finally starting to process events around me normally. I carefully stood up, stretching slightly while responding back to him, in hopes to be able to go back to sleep. "I thought the leader said 8 AM."_

_Itachi smiled, "That's what he said, isn't it?" His smile was wicked and devious, telling me there was more behind it. "Yes...that is what he said. Did he not mean it?" I asked, halfway suspicious, but Itachi's smile made me wonder if I really was as curious as I thought I was. Itachi seemed to notice my wavering enthusiasm, and answered my question as lightly as possible, "Well suppose someone heard that and came back at 8 AM today, they wouldn't be coming back. Ever."_

_I nodded again, slowly, a small lump in my throat forming from his meaning behind the smile and words. The time was a cover up. For people that didn't belong. People like me. People that would go at 8 AM because they didn't know any better, and ultimately cause their own downfall. I stared down into the floor, rather dumb founded, and rather stupidly asked, "...Ever?"_

_"Ever."_

_Itachi's eyes seemed to curve as he watched me slightly panic from the 'could have been' thoughts going through my head rapidly. I gave a loud sigh, standing up and forcing myself to stare into his eyes. It made me look bold, but at the same time made me feel very uneasy. Itachi had an unnerving ability to stare right through people as it seemed, and I still hadn't gained enough spunk to be able to look at him head on for lengthened periods of time yet. Though it was even more difficult now because it was still so dark out. All I could see were his eyes, glowing red through the darkness._

_He could see fine in the dark, which wasn't fair. He could see my face, read body language...as if he needed any of that though. If anyone needed it, it was me, and I was the one that could only see his eyes. Talk about unfair. As I thought this, suddenly the lights came on in the room, and I gave a slight groan as my eyes adjusted to the bright lights. I managed to glare back at Itachi, who I swear had read my mind and turned the lights on just to see me blinded like a bat in both dark and light._

_"Jerk.." I mumbled, no doubt looking like an old woman trying to read a distant sign or billboard. He didn't seem to respond to my said title for him, though I sware that the corners of his mouth twitched upward. I am not sure to be honest._

_"Let's head out." he stated simply, walking out. I followed after him with ease, though quickly got after myself. It shouldn't be easy to follow him. It should be like walking through fire. Pulling out teeth. It should make me feel terrified or suspicious. Technically every step with him could be my last...but, why didn't it feel like that? Why did it feel ok to be around him? Why was it so easy to trust him, even though he is one of the most dangerous men in the known ninja world?_

_"I don't believe it Itachi." I announced factually as we walked out of the hotel._

_"Believe what." He stated in response, not really even seeming to care about what I was saying, simply responding to be polite I assume._

_"I don't believe that you killed all of those people." I said in the same manner as before. I watched him very carefully, now eyeing him for any trace of emotion I could use to crack the mysteries he had around his name. He gave me none._

_"I assure you that I did Sakura. Don't doubt that." ....How could he be so casual with that? He said it so simply, it didn't even bother him. I might have dropped it there, but there was still that nagging suspicion that there was more. And I would tell him that. I wouldn't die as someone that didn't know and didn't care. I accept the fact that I might never know, but the fact that I didn't try was something I would not allow myself to be labeled as._

_"But there is more behind it all Itachi. You know it and so do I. Itachi...I have the power to clear your name!" Empowered by my statement, I ran up in front of him and stared him in his eyes as hard as I could, stopping him. He stared down at me, a small shock written across his features. Rather bold move considering how strong he was._

_"Itachi, I can make it so you can go back to the leaf! Don't you want that? Itachi you aren't a bad guy. I...I know you aren't!!" I gave a small huff again, trying to calm down so I didn't make him run off again. "You just have to tell me.."_

_I watched Itachi, waiting for his reaction. He merely shifted his gaze and walked around me, leaving myself, as usual, chasing after him. He walked quite fast now, most likely trying to say that I was going to make him late for sure now._

_"Itachi!-"_

_"Sakura you do not understand. You don't want to understand." He stated, not even facing me, just trekking onward knowing that I would follow. And I did. I'd like to think it was because my life was on the line, or that I knew I had no other option...but no. I wanted to follow after him. Not because I had this strange, unidentifiable pull to him. It was easy. I liked him. As. A. Friend. That's it._

_In all reality...I felt like I was related to him in many ways. The both of us saw things in a manner that others could never see them, him more than me even. I know that something is wrong in Konoha...he knows what that something is by experience. He was right where I wanted to be, except for the part of not being allowed to go to Konoha and all. I didn't want that...but if I knew what Itachi knew...dared to step out like Itachi did...then maybe I could change Konoha into a better place. Itachi and my teamwork just made sense._

_"Itachi I want to understand! I want things to change and if I can just-"_

_"Sakura!" he turned around and glared at me, now making me stop in my tracks, "Things will not change. Things won't ever change. If you knew what you claim you wish to know, you would never think you could change any thing. Even with where you are in the Konoha government, you cannot change a thing. Give up on your ridiculous dream and just make it through this next month. After that, forget you ever met me. It's for the best."_

_He turned back around sharply, "Now let's go. We are already late as it is."_

_I wanted to have a sharp come back. I always had one. What I lacked in strength was made up in talk. But for some reason, when it came to things Itachi said, I almost revered them. Hearing him say such harsh things left me speechless, just like the first time._

_As we walked into the dark room, the same dark authoritative voice greeted us again, "Itachi! And-" he struggled for my name, finally titling me "and Itachi's girlfriend...You are late." I was expecting a hard side , but the pleasant, always professional, smooth voiced Itachi covered for me yet again, "Sorry, we were getting ready but Sakura wanted to...go back to bed." He said it normally, but even I could see the double meaning in his words. The room gave slight laughs and amused chuckles at Itachi's claim. Perhaps it was all to get back at me for making him late. In all fairness, I didn't give him a side stare, but I really wanted to. Especially when the other men started giving light laughs of encouragement for Itachi. Talk about embarrassing._

_Though I suppose, thinking about it, Itachi would have to say that we had a physical love life. Both of us were grown up, and at his age, I assume 24 or 25, you would be sleeping with your dating partner. It was expected...especially in a crowd of men that followed no law what so ever. It was practically a requirement for Itachi to flaunt our non existent love life in such a setting. It would be suspicious if he didn't. But even though I justified this in my head, my eyes still widened in shock every time Itachi made a statement referring to the fact we were dating._

_The leader seemed to give grace to Itachi after giving me a very firm look of aggravation, "Very well. In the future Itachi, I would prefer you keep your more recent...activities...to a schedule less contradicting to the organizations?"_

_"Of course. It won't happen again, I assure you." Itachi said in the same warm pleasant voice. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to his regular spot in the darkness. I was rather thankful that he was pulling me aside him this time. I don't know what I would have done if he told me to follow him, or some other command that required sight in dark. Probably fumbled around like a moron, slamming into the other members, or even worse the wall. That would be more embarrassing I'm sure._

_The meeting continued onward, and I tried to take as many mental notes as possible- Hey, just because I was ok with Itachi did NOT mean these people were my friends. Far from it. In time, we were all dismissed again, though Itachi and I were called back later so I could discuss how to plan around Konoha with him. A time I was NOT looking forward to._

_As we walked out, a few of the guys began to converse with Itachi and I. Itachi greeted them all by name, helping me out with the names I'm sure. "Kisame, Sasori, Deidara...this is Sakura." I thought my heart would stop beating as he said off their names. I knew them all right. I knew the things they had done to become S-rank criminals like they were. Each name had a story, each a crime that was unforgivable by even the lowest of standards. Kisame watched me with a form of amusement, then shifted his gaze to Itachi._

_"You never told me you have a girlfriend Itachi. And I'm even your partner.."_

_I couldn't help it, I tried, but just being around these people...I tensed slightly as Kisame spoke. Itachi responded quickly. Now I'm not sure if it was to act as the protective or jealous boyfriend, or to force me to calm down, but he draped his arm around my waist and pulled me against his side firmly. I looked up at him, reading his body language. Flawless. He was relaxed, and really looked the part. If only you could say the same for me. I resembled a coiled cat in a room full of rocking chairs._

_Itachi, still playing the part perfectly, explained with yet another lie he pulled out of his ass, "I apologize; Sakura didn't want word spreading around about her position, as you can imagine. Though when the leader found her, things couldn't be helped." He, 'apologetically' rested his head on mine, consoling my non existent emotion towards my soiled plans of secrecy. Trying now to also be as convincing, I gave a slow nod, glazing my eyes over in deep concentration._

_Deidara crossed his arms sourly, glaring down at the ground. "Feh. Can't trust us with something so simple?" Deidara shrugged his shoulders plainly, watching Itachi as well. Just as two seconds ago, I was amazed by Itachi again. He was completely calm and in control. He easily portrayed that we were dating, and if I didn't know better, even I would have my doubts towards his feelings for me._

_Kisame switched his head back to me, "And here I thought you were a good little girl. Filing papers and doing everything the hokage told you to do." Before I could respond incorrectly, I could feel Itachi's grip on my hip tighten slightly, telling me to keep character._

_"Well if I have even you fooled, then we have nothing to worry about, do we?" I stated with a small hint of satisfaction in my voice. This wouldn't be too hard after all. I looked up, forcing Itachi's head off of my own, searching for approval in those dark crimson eyes. "What are you smirking at?" I asked, expectation in my voice. Itachi smiled, "Nothing, Sakura. Just the idea of you believing yourself to be so manipulative is amusing to me."_

_The guys laughed at his comment while I gave a slight 'hmph'. The sad part was he was being serious. He wasn't referring to me being a double agent as his team mates, it was to me thinking that I could play the others as well as he could. It was laughable to him. The jerk...and I thought I was doing so good too._

_Deidara looked at me closely, a smirk at his lips, "You know Itachi, for getting all that sleep, she sure looks rather tired..." They laughed again, nodding. A blush widened over my face in embarrassment. I wasn't even sleeping with the guy, why should I have to deal with this?! Halfway in seriousness, the other half continuing to act as his girlfriend, I buried my face in his chest, hiding from the scrutiny of his partners. They laughed louder, and I was truly thankful Itachi was there again._

_Itachi held me tightly, even himself giving a light chuckle at my reaction to Deidara's bold statements. "Alright guys leave her alone..." he mused, pulling me back to his side after a long moment. I stared at the ground, though I could feel the stares from the three men. As they left, I looked up at Itachi again, still hoping for that approval I deserved._

_He gave a light nod, which was more than enough for me. I smiled brightly, rather proud of myself, and asked plainly, "Now what?" Itachi gave a loud sigh, "Well the leader would have came for us by now. We can just head back now."_

_As we walked out, the atmosphere between Itachi and I was lighter than usual. As if the conversation with the three partners had broken the ice between him and I. I lifted my head proudly, "I am amazing. I did good and you know it!" I poked his shoulder, still haughy and just as proud. Itachi tilted his head to look at me, a half smile written on his face, "Bland. At least make it look like I have good taste in women." Though his words were harsh, his body language told me he was simply adding to the conversation playfully._

_I rolled my eyes, "Pssh. Please, I'm as bland as a freakin' salt lick. ...You don't get much better than this Itachi." I shot him a face you might see a teenage girl make for glamor shots, rather childishly, causing him to give a small laugh and shake his head._

_"Ne, Itachi.."_

_"Hm?"_

_"...Do you like me- I mean as a friend and all?"_

_"...Well...you keep me entertained."_

_"And that's...good?"_

_"Better than most people."_

_I nodded proudly again, "Well that's a start then, isn't it."_

_------------------------------------_

A/N: So I am sure I lost like half of the people reading this story...and I won't lie that sucks. But it's my own fault for not updating I know. My other story isn't doing so hot either. But it's my Senior year of high, and I am busy like none other. But I will have time at school to be typing and all, so hopefully things will begin to run smoother again. And if you all are wondering when the flashbacks will stop, it might be a bit. But really, I love the beginnings of Itachi and Sakura, and it is obviously really important for the reader to know. Please comment? I will be writing my next chapter starting tommorow, so expect to see that posted by the end of the week :) Until then,

Midnight


	9. Chapter 9

_The next few days proceeded more casually. In time, the leader did ask for information over Konoha, which I limitedly gave him. The way I saw it, I was getting much more than giving, so I didn't feel like a traitor to Konoha. If I was playing anyone, it was the Akatsuki. Itachi didn't seem to mind my obvious siding to Konoha, and continued to flawlessly keep our fake relationship looking realistic._

_About a week had passed by, leaving exactly one month left until I could return back to Konoha...but..things began to change- between Itachi and I, I mean. _

_...Well, at least I felt they were changing. You can't really speak for Itachi, he can convince someone of anything, so it's unwise to assume something. But, things weren't tense anymore. I was comfortable around him, and even Itachi admitted that he enjoyed my company._

_You know that part of the movies, where the happy music comes on and scenes just flash by? It usually revolves around friends, or a couple, but they are always so happy, laughing, playing games, and it all passes so fast? Well, that would be this part of the movie right now. We enjoyed being around each other and the days really...melted together. In a good way. It was strange to me...I mean, I was in the Akatsuki pretending to date one so I could stay alive...but it wasn't bad. In fact, it was perfectly fine. _

_Because I was happy. Itachi and I had formed a true friendship. I loved listening to him, he was unlike anyone I had ever met. Though I did miss Konoha and all of my friends dearly, I didn't want to leave just yet. If I could just stop time and stay right here, I would._

_"Sakura... You with us?" the demanding voice asked impatiently, bringing me back into focus._

_"Oh..yes, sorry. Just...thinking.." I responded, feeling Itachi's amused stare at my getting in trouble (Again)_

_ As time went by, Itachi stopped covering for me. I got used to the group and learned how to respond; there was no need for him to cover every mishap like there used to be. Though he rather enjoyed watching me squirm I am quite sure. It's just that these meetings were so boring! It was hard to focus after the 900th meeting in a span of a week.... maybe that's why they were all so heartless. I'd do something drastic too if I had to attend these crazy meetings all of the time. I simply didn't have the mental stamina. And I was a secretary to the most demanding hokage known to the entire ninja world._

_"Well could you answer my question?" The leader asked sharply, clearly annoyed. Especially in receiving a blank stare from me. ...He asked me a question??_

_The leader's eyes narrowed as he sighed loudly, making it known that I was not pleasing him currently. "How highly skilled are the ninja in Konoha, in your opinion?"_

_I gave the question a moment of thought, trying to decide how to best answer his question. This information wasn't too secretive, seeming as we fight quite often. It should be fine to answer this question. "Well, everyone my age level is Chuunin or higher. All except Naruto, but that's more from lack of opportunity than anything else."_

_The leader nodded, shifting his gaze to Itachi, who nodded back. Now what exactly they were communicating? No one really knows. The two just look at each other, nod, and that's is all the rest of us know. _

_Addressing me again, the leader once again clarified, "And you said Konoha isn't making any major offensive plans, correct?"_

_"No, Konoha is purely defensive right now. Losing the third hit us hard. Tsunade is still rebuilding."_

_"Yes, I see. And Itachi, you've communicated that you believe it best to go back to Konoha soon?"_

_Itachi looked at me, then back at the leader, "I do. They are rebuilding, things can easily be missed. At your approval, I suggest that Sakura and I head to Konoha this next month. It will give me the chance to get a personal insight of the village and target, and that will put Sakura right where we need her to be."_

_Itachi started at the leader, who stayed silent for a while, contemplating Itachi's proposal. I also couldn't help but impatiently wait for his response. If he didn't agree, I had no clue how I would get back to Konoha on time._

_"That will be fine Itachi. Just make sure Sakura gets back without much hassle. I don't want all of this time to be for nothing."_

_Both of us nodded in understanding and agreement, leaving me feeling much better about my hopes of walking out of this whole mess alive._

_"And with that in mind, you are dismissed. I will see you all in four days."_

_"Four days?!" I shrieked back at him, making most of the members stare at me in shock. Come on! Surely I wasn't the only one surprised..._

_"What's wrong with that?" the leader snapped, seeing my statement as more of a challenge than exclamation._

_I explained happily, smile at my face, "It just...I thought all you guys did was go to meetings."_

_The apparently obviously dumb statement made the room fill with a slight chuckle, and one of the men explained out, "Sakura...you wouldn't have ever heard of us if that were true.."_

_Well...I suppose that was true. But still. This was crazy. This many meetings were too much for me.._

_"Alright come on Sakura..." Itachi's voice charming and smooth. He pulled me out of the dark hideout, and I couldn't help but jabber excitedly about the break._

_"Itachi four whole days!" I paused in my thoughts, walking beside him._

_"...But just what to do with four days? Hmm. That is tough." I thought out loud, than shifted gears to Itachi, who appreared rather amused by my childish excitement. "You may just be forced to bond with me Itachi. Will you ever survive?" I teased, also rather childishly. _

_Itachi pulled off a smirk that I swear fits no one else like it does Itachi, "Oh? And just who is to say that I won't disappear for the next four days?"_

_I crossed my arms, mumbling slightly, "Great...kill joy.."_

_Itachi's smirk grew more pronounced as he continued leading onward to the next place we would reside. Though I didn't want the conversation over just yet. "So, good thing about the whole back to Konoha thing huh? That makes it all smooth sailing for both of us!" _

_Itachi nodded, "Yes, but when we get back to Konoha I don't want you repeating what you learned about us here."_

_"Itachi that's not-"_

_"Sakura I saved your life. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have learned anything to begin with; therefore, you are to act accordingly when you step back into regular life."_

_I gaped, rather alarmed. This ruined my plans! Everything I was gaining here...all for nothing? "So...so what do you want me to tell them? That my mission was a complete fail?"_

_"Tell them nothing happened. Tell them you even ran into me at one point, which you did, but after that no more. And on that matter, treat it as if this past week, and next month never happened. You never met me, knew me, still don't even know what I look like. Understood? We both need to forget this time, and move on after this next month back to the way our lives were before this collision." _

_His voice wasn't harsh...but...expectant. It wasn't a choice, merely a statement. Though, it wasn't him telling me that I couldn't go to Tsunade with Akatsuki plans that hurt me. It wasn't the fact that Itachi was telling me what to do and what to say. It was that he wanted me to forget him. But of most importance...that he wanted to forget me. That he wanted to forget that there was someone out there that didn't just judge him or write him off. That I cared about him. And that I wanted him to approve of me and want my company in friendship.  
_

_He wanted it all to be for nothing._

_But I wanted it for everything._

_I wanted every moment and word plastered in my memory. I wanted to remember that there was a way outside of the concrete walls of Konoha. That there is a life where truth can be lived, no matter what costs. I didn't want to forget.._

_But I wanted him to want to remember...more than I didn't want to forget._

_"Itachi, but I don't want-" I paused, sighing. What was the point of saying I wanted to keep these memories, if I was the only one that wanted it? Memories are only special when they are shared with people...and if he didn't want them.._

_...Didn't want me..._

_Then why should I fight for our friendship?_

_"You don't want..?" Itachi repeated, sorting to see if I would dare argue it out with him._

_I scoweled slightly, "Nothing okay! Just forget it! ...Just forget it all!" acid dripping from my words by the end. Yes, I was hurt. I wouldn't let him know that though. As long as he didn't know, than I would be able to forget him too. It wasn't worth it anyways if I wasn't worth remembering._

_"Sakura I don't understand-"  
_

_"Just drop it okay?! Look. Let's just get through these next four days...the next month even...we'll keep up the act and then go our seperate ways!"  
_

_Itachi seemed to be taken back, but only for a few passing moments before almost immediatly recovering, "...If that is what you want Sakura.."_

_I scoweled further, sickened by his wording, "Oh, it's not about what I want Itachi. I can assure you of that."_

_He stared at me for a few moments, clearly confused, though I didn't speak further. What was there to say anyhow? Any conversation or interaction we had would just be forgotten and marked unimportant in his mind, so why should I try?_

_Though...I wanted to try. Because there was a part of me...a very small, subtle part of me that liked Itachi more than friends. That wanted to chase after him and pursue so much more. But now especially, I couldn't listen to that side._

_That side of me was wrong. _

_Stupid. Just asking for a heart break._

_Though I wanted to listen to that part of me more than anything...I couldn't._

_I was too afraid._

_._

_.  
_

_----------------------------------------------_

_._

_Our first full day of break passed by awkwardly. Not a single word was exchanged between Itachi and I. We weren't mad at each other or anything, in fact, I think it was more normal for Itachi to stay silent over holding a casual conversation with someone._

_But not me._

_And plus at our last spout, what was there to say? Would it really be right to brush it off and try to casually bring up the weather, or some other last resort, end of the world conversation starters? No...I didn't think it would be right either honestly._

_Day two passed._

_Then day three._

_Nothing. Itachi simply sat down on the wall looking asleep to the untrained eye. But Itachi, I soon learned, always had his eyes closed. It was his way of staying concentrated and relaxed all at the same time. A makeshift nirvana. _

_Though, I would often catch him looking at me. With this look like...well, just a wierd look that is owned only by Itachi, but it was like...he wanted me to say something to him._

_But I didn't._

_I couldn't._

_I had no clue what to say anymore. It was hard to find out what to say. The past three days had given me time to think. Itachi didn't want to remember me, so why should I waste my time? Also, a part of me wanted to be with Itachi in ways that I shouldn't want. It would put the entire nation of Konoha in peril if I chose to live so riskilly, so every word I said to him had to be internally monitierd. And at the moment I still couldn't figure out what I could say and couldn't._

_So I stayed silent. Wishing to be much more. To rise out of my box and live the way I saw to be right_

_...But I couldn't._

_So day three came and went._

_And three lead to four._

_I was sitting on the bed staring at him. He must have known that. He seemed to know everything. I constantly thought about my feelings for Itachi, instantly telling myself no every time. I had to put Konoha first and my interests last...but the more I said no_

_The more I wanted it._

_..No! It was crazy! I couldn't actually want to date Itachi. The idea was laughable in and of itself. I was sent to get him, NOT the other way around! I simply couldn't like him in such a way. I shouldn't have even allowed a friendship to form._

_But.._

_Why did I seem to hang on every word he said to me? Every look he gave me? Every smirk or half smile..each moment I treasured. Could I really keep telling myself it wasn't...what it clearly was?_

_I wanted to be with Itachi. There was no denying it. It was what I wanted. And I would fight for it._

_Surge of spur of the moment adrenaline raced through me, powering me to break the routine and do the unthinkable._

_"Hey...Itachi?" my voice was shaky and unstable after staying silent for so long._

_Surprisingly, Itachi responded as if we had never stopped talking to begin with_

_"Hm?"_

_Suddenly, at his voice, I panicked. My driving force gone, nerve instantly loosing to nervousness. I remembered Sasuke. Not because of returning feelings or anything, but he was the last person I confessed my love to..and we all know how that one turned out. And these two were brothers after all, making things even worse. And plus, it wasn't proper to spout out things like 'Hey even though it may be one of the most morally wrong things in the world, lets date for real!' _

_Though I could. I could cleverly say something that would give him the option to pursue a relationship on a higher level. I could fight for this and not live in the box Konoha trapped me in. Afterall, Itachi was living proof Konoha wasn't always right. Why should I follow their rediculas rules and regulations when there was a much bigger world out there that they kept us from? What if there was more out there than just being a ninja and fighting. What if there was truth?_

_...What if there was love?_

_I had to know! I couldn't give this up. It was now or never. Who cares about Konoha? I had to do something for myself, to learn what Konoha didn't dare teach. There had to be another way._

_"..Yes Sakura?" Itachi repeated, and it quickly brought me back down to earth. _

_I couldn't give up Konoha. Konoha was safe, Konoha was everything I had ever known.  
_

_And in that moment, I gave it up. I killed my feelings for Itachi._

_Hey...what else could I do? Could I seriously give it all up, hoping that Itachi and I made it?_

_What would happen if we were to break up or something? That would leave me with no village, and no place to go. Even Itachi had the Akatsuki. I would have nothing. And it just wasn't worth it in the end._

_"Oh...um..when is the..meeting tommorow?" I stated rather sadly, rather disapointed in myself._

_Maybe Kisame was right about me. It wasn't about not having the nerve, it was about Konoha. It would break the rules, that's why I wasn't doing it._

_...And how sad was that?_

_I was too much of a good girl to dare do something for myself. I have never turned down a mission, always worked over time, and bent backwards for that place. Not because I was a super saint..I just couldn't say no. I let Konoha walk all over me, and I was so preconditioned to act like that, that when I actually had a chance for freedom, I still chose Konoha._

_"Four thirty A.M" he responded. I nodded slowly, slightly spaced out.  
_

_After a few more minutes of my mysterious zombie behaviour, Itachi asked, truly concearned about me as it seemed. _

_"Sakura...are you alright?" _

_I nodded in the same manner, slightly catching myself. "Um, nothing..just tired really." I fibbed, quite convincingly. _

_Itachi gave a sympathetic grin, falling for my lie. Though...a part of me wished he hadn't._

_"Alright Sakura, get some sleep then. I'll wake you up if you would like."_

_"Oh, thank you.." I mumbled, rolling onto my side._

_Facing away from Itachi, and facing the wall._

_Which looked just like my future._

_Blank and pointless._

_-------------------_

_A/n: Hey guys. It's the end of the week, as promised, here is your chapter. I like it. I mean, of course I do, because I wrote it, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. I think I captured Sakura's character well here, so I would like some feedback on that if you could spare a moment to help an aspiring writer. To keep up with the whole dead line thing, by this next Thursday you'll have you're next chapter ok? Till then, feedback is much appreciated. thanks guys!  
_


	10. Chapter 10

_"Hey Sakura...hey-" _

_Itachi's voice was hushed and soft, and slowly waking me. I could feel his hand on my shoulder, nudging me awake gently. "Sakura, we've got to go.."_

_I sat up, opening my eyes, taking in my surroundings. The side room lamp was turned on, providing a dim, non painful glow of light in the room. Itachi was knelled down beside the bed rather...sweetly. Which was odd. Not like Itachi didn't have manners or anything...but this was different. Like he was going out of his way to be gentler than usual._

_I rubbed my eyes, quite aware of his scrutiny, even at my half alive state. I slowly turned to face Itachi, immediately noticing that his eyes weren't glowing fiercely. They were gleaming obsidian, and I couldn't help but stare for a long moment. He had the most beautiful eyes, I hadn't seen them sense I first met him, he was always using Sharingan. Black replaced by angry demanding crimson._

_I half haphazardly swung my legs around through the blankets and onto the floor. With another wide mouthed, over exaggerated yawn, I slowly stood up. Itachi's hand moved down to the small of my back for support, slightly alarming me. Not that he was crossing any personal boundaries, but this was not how Itachi normally acted. Why the change?_

_"You're sure being nice..." I slurred out in a sleepy voice, managing to focus on his eyes._

_Itachi gave a small nod with an expressionless face- very difficult to read naturally. "You can't think straight in the mornings I have realized. It would be a shame if you ran into a wall or fell down out of sheer mental ineptness. I am merely here to help." My eyes narrowed into thin slits. Ineptness huh? Ok, so maybe I wasn't the best in the mornings...but inept? Pa-lease. Itachi stood in front of me, and simply to prove him wrong, I took a haughty step forward. _

_As my foot made contact with the ground, the perhaps, too soon movement caused my leg to give out and crumple beneath me, causing me, yup, sailing straight into the chest of Itachi. Go. Freakin'. Figure. He caught me with ease, and I could feel the satisfaction of being right cloud around him like an over bearing cologne. As if his ego wasn't big enough to begin with._

_"Hi Ipachhi.." I mumbled out through the fabric of his shirt, still refusing to move._

_"Hi Sakura." he stated, voice clear and clearly amused. _

_I guided my arms to his shoulders, the upper half of my body still implanted to his. I slowly pushed off from him, using him as the strong balance to guide me safely to an upright position again. Though I know Itachi tried to keep up his expressionless mask on, he couldn't hide the glimmer in his eyes and the pulled corners at his lips. I still had my hands on his shoulders and I glared at the ground, breathing rather deeply._

_"Don't...say....anything." I whispered lowly, still getting my bearings from the day. I really hated mornings. I hated them. But what's worse was simply the embarassment behind it all. Being all cocky then face planting? In front of the ninja god known as Itachi? Just about the worst screw up known to the world of both females and males alike. But it wasn't just that, it was more. It was how close he was, how nice he was being suddenly, his coal eyes, my repressed feelings...and that's when I realized it._

_I was blushing._

_And Itachi was sure to notice. _

_He noticed everything._

_He was Itachi for Christ's sake._

_No. No no blushing!! Come on Sakura, calm down. Stop! Stop! Stop! _

_If Itachi saw, he would just rub it in, and be like 'oh Sakura has feelings for me blah blah blah' and he would be mean and cruel and do something to get me all worked up and...NO! I would not go there. I would stop blushing right now. Besides, I decided it last night. I do NOT like Itachi like that because I can't. Simple as that._

_Ha. Take that Itachi._

_Though as I told myself this, I took a fearful side glance, a move I instantly regretted. Eye contact with Itachi- BAD. His facial expression was dramatically changed from his usual unreadable mask. He looked visually confused, trying to read me. As if he weren't sure if I really was blushing, and if so, he couldn't seem to understand why. But the second I looked at him, my face flushed all over again (stupid feminine emotions!!) and that's when things got even worse._

_He smirked._

_Not just any smirk. _

_The Itachi smirk._

_Obviously by name, the smirk that only Itachi can pull off, and when he uses this exact smirk, you know something bad is going to happen._

_Quickly, taking preventative action, I dropped my arms to my sides and turned my back to him. Why? Because the more this thing prolonged the deeper and deeper my blush was. Which was horrid. I really am not one of those mushy-gushy blush girls that see a guy- any guy, and gets all flushed. I was level headed, calm cool...but not right now. Not around Itachi. He seemed to bring out this awful side in me that I couldn't control...a side that...Itachi...controlled. _

_Surely that smirk meant he figured it out, but maybe I could play the part. Undo his decision. After all, his face meant he was confused. I can easily sway his decision right back if I played my cards right. As long as I stopped blushing, made myself act cold to him maybe, then I could undo all of this and keep things where they should be. Because there was something Itachi deffinitaly didn't know. Even if I LOVED him, which was far from the case, I wouldn't date him. Even if he got down on one knee (highly unlikely) and begged me to stay with him till the end of time, I would say no. He couldn't just know that I liked him though. Because I would put Konoha first. That's just how it needed to be._

_As I thought this, reaffirmed my thoughts, Itachi took a step closer behind me. "Sakura.." he seemed to sing my name almost. His voice was smooth, confident, beckoning...but the worst? Dare I say it...but like he was trying to seduce me._

_And not that it worked to the full effect, but it quickly got my mind spinning. And just as I got control over my over reactive emotions, I lost it again. _

_No, No Sakura! You have GOT to stop blushing!!_

_Each time I would make a move, Itachi would counter from behind me. Him taking much less effort, though gaining much more than my feeble attempts of a sober mind._

_Itachi grabbed my shoulders with the lightest of pressure, and pulled me back against his body. I could feel the contours of his chest and arms in my back, the warmth of his body heat, and soon, his hot breath on my neck._

_A quick jagged breath ran through my body as I tried to pull away from Itachi's grip. My last attempt of freedom before my will melted in his hold.  
_

_Itachi's grip tightened and pushed me even harder against him, and I knew I would just have to ride it out until he was satisfied.  
_

_Must. Stay. Focused. Sakura._

_Each word through my mind was forced through deep concentration as I was quickly loosing this battle with Itachi, who really wasn't doing that much._

_Itachi simply breathed on my neck slowly, tracing his face through my hair and up my neck, pausing at my ear. He took a light impulse of breath, and repeated my name in that voice, "Sakura..."_

_I clamped my eyes shut tightly, my face burning such a bright red I was sure I was going to explode. I knew he would do this. He was toying with me, and knew just how to do it. Itachi would just keep on messing with me until I broke and gave him whatever he was after. Itachi could just do that to you. His mere voice was low, dark, and mischievous...inviting. That and the combination of his grip and being pressed against his chest, him breathing on my neck...sent my mind spinning in directions I dare not even repeat._

_Itachi breathed more deeply, hot air sending chills like ice down my spine. "You.." he breathed out slowly, and at this point, I was a lost cause, completely given into his control. You? Me? I..I what?_

_Itachi's mouth was right a the base of my ear, and I could feel his lips move on my skin for every syllable he said. "You.." he repeated, my skin tingling warmly from his caresses_

_"You're going to make me late.." he finished in his deep voice._

_And instanly, his arms were gone, his body turned, walking out the door casually, as if nothing had ever happened._

_...._

_..._

_That..._

_Jerk!_

_My mouth fell open as I stood still, frozen. All of that...just to say..._

_Oh I'll kill him._

_I threw my head back in frustrated agony. Itachi...that manipulative...Oh I'd kill him! My promise of revenge to myself. Giving a dramatic sigh, I drug myself of of the room, closed the door and dragged myself down the familiar path to the hideout, where yet another insanely boring meeting was awaiting me. And who would I have the pleasure of standing by? Mr. Manipulative Jerk in the flesh, of course! Wouldn't that be fun._

_Soon...way too soon...I caught up to Itachi, who I refused to make eye contact with. My lips were pursed with frustration, and my eye brows furrowed in the same manner. _

_Jerk._

_"Sakura, you seem angry..." Itachi mused innocently, and I could feel his stare._

_I glared up at him, not even caring he had Sharingan activated already, "You are a jerk Itachi. And just for the record, I don't even want you like that! Though be sure to twist that into some good story you can tell the guys, make this thing more realistic and eventful." I spat out, half way from embarrassment and...well, mostly just embarrassment. I wouldn't admit it, but Itachi got me good. And I knew it. And that's why it sucked so much, because he did too._

_Itachi smirked and quickly grabbed my hand, which didn't alarm me like it used to. I was quite used to this random hand grabbing, ass grabbing, waist grabbing stunt. One of the fellow members were here._

_"Morning Itachi, Sakura." It was Kisame's voice. He wasn't that far off at all. Taking the last few seconds of freedom before we had to act like lovers again, I glared up at Itachi with the worst, coldest look I could muster up in two seconds, and in response, he merely smirked wider. _

_"Hello Kisame." Charming Itachi. As usual. (Jerk!!)_

_Kisame soon neared us, and I was thankful to him, lightening the atmosphere a bit for me. Itachi couldn't hold it over my head as much when the guys were around, making it much easier for the looser, me._

_"So did you two manage to keep yourselves busy for the past four days?" Kisame asked Itachi darkly. _

_I rolled my eyes with a sigh, mentally checking out of their conversation. Itachi never gave grotesque details, but the things he came up with? I swear. After time, they were just too crazy for me to take. They continued talking, and I occupied my mind deciding how I would somehow undo this so Itachi couldn't torture me with it for the next month._

_"Wow Sakura...I didn't know you were into that..."_

_Great. Now what did I miss? And the question didn't seem to be a very easy one to answer. Yet another lie Itachi told his friends, just to make me look like an idiot. I almost dared to ask, but decided I was better off pretending I was all embarrassed by our non existing sex life, and adverted eye contact from Kisame, who gladly took my lie with a pleased laugh._

_Funny. Seems I was just doing that two seconds ago._

_As we all huddled into the black as death cave, the leader gave a warm welcome, "Glad you are all here, at the correct time even, " he nodded gratefully to Itachi and continued, still not completley forgiving our previous misbehavior. The leader proceeded on with the meeting, talking about plans that I couldn't even share with Konoha. _

_God, I can't believe I had to wake up for this... and what a crappy way to wake up too. Even just standing next to Itachi was awkward._

_"Itachi, I have been thinking about Sakura and your excursion." _

_I tensed slightly. No. Don't think about it...just let us go!_

_"I think a month after you leave her in Konoha, you should go back and regather information from Sakura and personal observations. She can be a great tool of communication for us, and I'd like to take that to our advantage."_

_I forced myself to not respond with more than an agreeing nod. Though my mind was screaming. _

_No! After this month, I have no obligations with Itachi and I am free from this place! And if Itachi thinks I am going to comply then he is dead wrong too! I didn't need to meet up with Itachi after we split our ways. A month wasn't long enough, not from this manipulative cretin._

_And the meeting proceeded as normal, which means boring, hours long, and if you ask me, completely pointless._

_Though today was different. Because I didn't want the meeting to end. I didn't want to face Itachi, who I knew would pick up right back where he left of in his gloating and I would feel like an over reactive, needy girl. And all too soon, "Alright members...Sakura, you are free for the day. See you in the morning." And I couldn't help but wonder if he really meant in the morning or not...?_

_Itachi grabbed my waist and lead me out, my stomach twisting nervously for the fate sure to befall me. Man what a hole I had dug for myself now. Just outside of the hideout, Itachi stopped and faced me._

_"So, how is this going to work, a month after, me coming back?"_

_I shrugged my shoulders. Oh, so now he needed my help? Hm. Fancy that._

_"Well I say, you step foot in my village and I'll have you arrested."_

_Itachi cocked his head, almost...enjoying my challenge. "Would you really, Sakura?"_

_I nodded firmly. "Hey Itachi, you are the one that said to forget about each other. And if I hadn't met you and knew you were in Konoha, I'd arrest you. Simple as that."_

_He smirked, nodding back, then loomed towards me, "But let's say...you didn't forget? Let's say you remembered me?"_

_Itachi stalked forward, and I backed up, hoping to avoid going through all of this again. And then I hit it. The back of the cave wall. And in that moment? His arms on seperate sides by my head. Traditional girl against the wall block really, but yet just as effective. _

_Itachi, so close to me, stared at me, eyes coal again. Damn he was good._

_He leaned in again, whispering in my ear, "Let's say you wanted to remember me."_

_No. No this wasn't fair! Though Itachi being like this, just as before, set my mind in a haze. I struggled for my voice._

_"You don't want me though Itachi..." my words slurred together, representing my not so clear thinking as well._

_Itachi rubbed the side of my neck with his nose, bringing his lips back to my ear again_

_"But you want me...don't you." Not a question. A fact. _

_"No. Because...I don't want.." it was hard for me to concentrate, "I don't want to be the only one...I don't want to risk Konoha for...for you...for me. And you don't like me and so even if I did- which I don't...then I wouldn't because that would be-"_

_Itachi put a finger over my mouth, backed up to where his face was only inches from my own. Itachi shook his head slowly, eyes closed in light concentration. _

_"Sakura...who ever told you, that I didn't want you?"_

_And before I could even respond, his lips were crushing against mine. And immediately, before I even gave myself mental consent, I was responding back to him. My lips moving in sync with his perfectly. Lips twisting and moving, dueling against each other. Itachi pushed me back against the wall harder, pressing his body against mine. His hands moved to my shoulders, pushing me even closer to him if it was possible. I moved my hands, twisting through his hair, forgetting about all my vows to do what was best for Konoha. Itachi laced his tongue into my mouth, holding me even tighter.  
_

_"Damn you two...get a room!" It was Deidara's voice, and immediatly, Itachi pulled away from me, which I did NOT appreciate. I...liked...kissing Itachi. _

_Itachi pulled me by my waist up against him smirking from the irony of the entire situation. "My apologies, I could not resist her." he stated, staring down at me, except now, he wasn't acting. He was being real. I was being real. And it wasn't wrong. We weren't wrong. Konoha...was wrong. And that was the best part of all.  
_

_"I thought if I waited just a moment longer I'd see clothes coming off" Kisame smirked approvingly to his partner, appreaing from the mob that had seen the event. In reaction, I blushed for the hundredth time for that day._

_"Sakura, shall we head off?" Itachi asked, grabbing my hand with a light peck on the lips._

_I hadn't quite found my voice so I only could squeak an "Mm-hm.." which Itachi could only smirk at._

_The best part though?_

_When we were out of sight from the Akatsuki's view..._

_Itachi didn't let my hand go._

_-----------------_

A/N: SWOON!! Well, at least I am anyhow. Ok guys, you really need to comment. I'm just going to be blunt because somewhere past the monitor, there is a real person so you can handle it. I write everything by hand- personal choice. Long story in and of itself really. But in case you don't follow, that means that I write it, then take the time to type it up and post it. Very long process, which technically benefits me nothing, when I already have a non-virtual copy. So please comment. Really. This isn't for me, it's for you guys, and when I spend literal HOURS typing this, the least you can do it take five seconds and write a puny sentence of feedback.

But I don't mean to be rude to you guys, because each chapter I get new subscriptions and people favorite the story, which is really nice. So to most of you, this doesn't really apply. But that's ok, I wanted to say it anyway because last chapter didn't get a single comment. (Made me very sad because I loved that chapter..) And in reality I need to thank you guys because I know I am so bad at updating, but I am trying hard to keep myself on deadlines. My next deadline will be this coming Tuesday ok? Maybe sooner, in fact probably by Sunday, but I don't want to promise anything. Alright...well that's all. Hope you loved this chapter, I sure did!

Midnight._  
_


	11. Chapter 11

Pre A/N: Alright guys! Chapter 11 is up for visual consumption. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS! I was ready to cry tears of joy. And on that note, there is a reason I have an A/N at the beginning. It's a warning for the up coming, non G rated material if you catch my drift. I wasn't going to write anything like this/that out because I am the girl that passes all that stuff myself, but I have gotten requests for it, so here you go. I hope you enjoy it, cause I haven't ever written them before, but I hope it isn't that obvious. If it is I'm sorry. I tried right?

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_I threw myself down on the bed, a frown deeply embedded in my face. It all came so fast...tomorrow couldn't be...the day._

_The day I went back to Konoha._

_The day life went back to normal and moved past this halt in time, where I learned so much. _

_About life, about truth..about Itachi._

_And mostly, about myself._

_I wasn't ever meant to be weighed down by the laws and expectations of Konoha. People shouldn't be drones that just did whatever they were told to do. People should be able to think, follow their own life and beliefs. People shouldn't live and die without ever going past what they were told was how it should be. I didn't want to go back to that._

_But most of all, I didn't want to leave Itachi. Ever sense day one, there was a spark, and as time flew by and we grew close, we became a couple. And...it was magical really. Both of us were so similar, each knew each other and how they thought. We wanted to work together, go against the norm and find the right path. Not just the path laid out for us by birth. We wanted more, and we wanted to find it together._

_Itachi was off in the Akatsuki cave (I gave it that name, seems how we were there so often and it had yet to be named- not bad huh?) discussing the more intricate details behind the 'mission' we were about to embark on. Leaving me alone, without my Itachi, my best friend, on perhaps one of the most difficult days I have ever had, which will only be topped by tomorrow, where I actually do leave him._

_I plopped backwards on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I didn't want to go. Simple as that. But I had to. Itachi and I had already discussed this. Me staying would only bring suspicion throughout the entire village, search parties would be sent out, and all Akatsuki would be exploited quite possibly. Either that or put in hiding until the whole thing blew over._

_Both options would benefit no one, and so the original plan would still be executed. _

_I shook my head, fighting back tears._

_These past two months, I was set free, by this 'criminal' named Itachi. The man I was sent to learn about to destroy and hold captive. Turns out the only one captive was me. _

_The door clicked open and Itachi walked in casually, not outwardly showing the emotions I know he was feeling. Seeing me sprawled across the bed, he sat beside me silently, simply sharing the moment with me._

_If this was what being a ninja was about, all the pain, disappointment, and never being truly free...then they could have it. I'd take exile any day, gladly even._

_"Sakura, we will get through this." Itachi stated in a whisper, staring at the wall._

_I sighed, but gave no response. I knew better than to fall for an inspirational pep chat._

_Put bluntly, this would suck. That's what he was saying to me._

_"Itachi...I don't want to go back. I can't leave you." Funny, just two months ago I hated this man. I was taught that he was the monster that took down the Uchiha's. He was a black mark on the great history of Konoha. And now I was his real girlfriend. And not only that, but sometimes I wondered if I felt more than an attachment for him. Sometimes...I wondered if I...if I might lo-  
_

_Look, we haven't ever said that to each other...you know? That four letter word? And we hadn't even had sex with each other. We didn't need to. I will say, we had come close at times, but we were beyond the childish relationships where you had sex on the first date just because you could. We wanted our first time with each other to mean something, to be special. Not just the first night we decided that we could because we had the title, therefore the rights to._

_ This being in mind, we didn't have any permanent bonds that chained us together until the end of time, yet I knew that Itachi and I were more serious than many couples would ever be. _

_Itachi laid back, pulling me closer beside him, not saying anything after that either. _

_The closer this day came, the less we said but the closer we were. The last pull together before being ripped apart if you will._

_"What time is it Itachi?" I mumbled, wanting to keep him talking as much as possible to keep his voice ingrained in my memories._

_"It's 9:45 p.m" (How does he always know the time down to the minute? He doesn't carry a watch on him!) "The leader wants me back in an hour, he sent me back to share information with you."_

_I wanted to groan. Itachi seemed to be a bit higher in the Akatsuki latter, and had to be at more meetings than any of the others, and in turn, I got to hear all about it. Joy of all joys. More meetings._

_Itachi somewhat chuckled at my soured face, "It's not that bad. Pretty much just don't kill me when I go back to Konoha in a month ok?"_

_The past two months flew by, though I already knew that this coming month would drag by, second. by. second._

_I smirked, remembering the last thing I had told him regarding his return to Konoha._

_I sighed, scooting over and laying my head on top of his chest. Itachi exhaled slightly, putting his arms over my waist and pulling me on top of him, facing him. His hands cupped my shoulders as he leaned forward, kissing me gently. My lips parted, giving into his desires again and kissing him back accordingly. His hands rolled down my arms and down to the small of my back, where he rested his hands on my waist again. Spasms drummed in the core of my stomach, begging to be set free._

_I breathed hot air in an audible exhale, Itachi pushing his lips against the corners of my mouth, thumbs drawing circles on the edge of my skirt line. Itachi pulsed his tongue through my lips, hot like fire mixed with his deep breaths, twisting and beating inside of my mouth, caressing my tongue roughly as passion began to take over. Panting as Itachi released me, I clenched my eyes shut, feeling his warm tongue and hot breath tickle my skin on my neck, and the throbbing fire roared with intensity as Itachi guided his hands to the zipper of my shirt and pulled it down for what seemed like an eternity. Cold air made me tense at my newly revealed stomach and back, instantly enjoying the chill of the air with Itachi's warm embrace as he wrapped his hands around my back, lightly forcing me to lower myself further on top of him, soaking in his body heat.  
_

_Itachi pulled me forward, offsetting each other slightly, as if I was a weightless rag doll. I gasped loudly, feeling Itachi breathing his hot, heavy breath in between my newly revealed cleavage. My breath went ridged, an almost painful roar in my stomach that made me breathless under Itachi's control. And suddenly, I'm not even sure when, Itachi had us flipped, him straddling my waist, me staring up at him, blushing and sporting just my bra for a top now._

_Itachi pulled upward on his shirt, tossing it aside, revealing a very sculpted, muscled chest and the type of torso men would kill to have, flexing as different sets of muscles moved to finish the simple task . And with this accomplished, Itachi shifted, somewhat laying on top of me now. His body was warm and firm against my own, and the core in my stomach twisted itself painfully with each advance he made. Itachi had one hand running and knotting through my hair, kissing my lips, neck, collar bone, while his other hand slip beneath my back, fiddling with the claps of my bra. I was so wanton with desire, I couldn't even think straight, though time stopped dramatically as I felt the pop of my bra beneath me._

_ Itachi found my eyes, watching me squirm beneath him, begging him to keep going, though terrified at the same time. We had played around before, but this was really as far as it ever got. Itachi was no doubt cataloging my every twitch, pant, and squeak at this moment, storing it in his flawless library of memories._

_His gaze shifted downward to my heaving chest, then to the strap on my shoulder. His warm, gentle hand closed around the fabric, pulling down it down, then forcing my arm out and free from the laced attachment. He repeated the same for my other arm, leaving my bra sitting freely, aligned on top of my breasts loosely. Itachi, with literally a flick of his wrist, sent the black laced material flying across the room, though that was quickly the least of my worries. I could feel his gaze on my breasts, and the cool air almost stinging my senses. _

_Itachi leaned back down, overlapping my exposed body with his, kissing me again. The feel of his bare skin against mine gripped through my abdomen, contracting my muscles in a throbbing hum that left me shaky and panting again. My hands gripped his shoulders tightly, needing something to grip and hold, my long nails digging deeply into his skin I'm sure. Itachi tensed slightly, tensing at the pain which was so easily contorted as pleasure, smirking slightly, his breathing immediately spiking irregularly. He kissed me, almost forcefully now, crushing my mouth abusively, lightly nibbling my kissed swollen lips and trailing down my neck, then down to my chest, still heaving uncontrollably at the flames that burned deep within my body. _

_Itachi's hands trailed down to the base of my shoulders, sliding down to the sides of my chest, just above my waist. Itachi moved downward, me still gripping his shoulders tightly, and put his face in between my breasts, smothering himself in my skin. I could feel his warm breath again, sending shutters through my body like ice, though replaced by an even intenser flame that made me moan slightly, twisting my hips beneath him, wishing to quench the fire. Itachi, prided by each and very movement I made in retaliation to his touch and caresses, smirked, running his hot, wet tongue across the valley between my two breasts, using his thumbs to dance around the base of my breasts, only making my breathing louder and more rigid. _

_My grip on him tightened even more, and I knew the hot sticky substance I could feel was blood, but that didn't stop me. Itachi drew circles with his tongue around my nipple, teasing me slightly with his teeth and hot breath, and I threw my head back in the sheets, trying not to scream at the constant, painful throb that made its way in between by legs, burning like a fire that didn't let up. Past my efforts, a loud moan escaped my lips for a second time, only fueling Itachi to torture me further, the fire now blazing like an oven only pounding harder, demanding to be satisfied._

_My hands clenched tighter, deeper into his skin, earning a low, gruff growl from the man above me. Itachi's hands glided down my skin, sending chills like ice through my skin, soon feeling like fire. He held my waist firmly, thumbs exploring beneath the fabric line of my skirt, mouth making loud sucking spasms just below my navel, only inches from the roaring flame that responded to his touch as if under command by his skilled fingers. A squeak escaped my lips, my hips shifting beneath him continuously, attempting to escape the intense flames. The motion of my rocking hips made Itachi freeze above me, and I could hear him curse under his breath._

_Itachi shifted, and began pulling off his clothes with a quick and smooth expertise, and I couldn't stop my eyes from scoping down every inch of his skin, my arms falling back down to my sides, and soon, Itachi was back on top of me, pulling at my clothes again hurriedly. As if a knee jerk reaction, my back arched, making the task easier, and cold air found my every inch revealed, leaving only my panties in place. A matching set to my bra, but that hadn't lasted long enough for admiration from this man.  
_

_Itachi paused, lightly pecking the satin fabric with a formal kiss, and in the same moment, they were sliding down my legs. Itachi's strong hands forced my legs apart, as I fought him for a moment on it._

_What Itachi didn't know? ...I was a virgin! And I was scared!! What if I was doing something wrong, or what if I wasn't as good as the other girls he had? _

_Insecurities raced through my head about being naked in front of a man for the first time, though they quickly took a back seat. I could feel Itachi's tongue run through me deeply, hot and breathy, and his hold on my waist became painful as I continued wiggling beneath him, fearing that the fire would consume me whole if it wasn't put to an end soon. Muscles in my stomach and legs tightened as Itachi continued exploring every crevice I owned on, and inside my being, sending me whimpering out his name from his torturous acts. My fingers twisted in the sheets in desperation, my mind searching for a way to escape the throbbing painful world that Itachi had been guiding me into._

_At the sound of his name, Itachi gripped me even harder, his play become more intense, nipping at my skin with his teeth, me crying out through clenched teeth and closed eyes. I was panting, heaving, back arching. I was shaking. The fire now was so intense where I couldn't concentrate, and it made me weak and needy._

_Suddenly, Itachi pushed a finger deep into my entrance, and I pushed my body into the bed further, moaning loudly at the new feeling his actions brought. I could feel his gaze fix on me, watching me tense and pant beneath his power over me. And as I got used to the action- well as much as you can get used to a pounding so intense you are sure your body will implode from the inside out- Itachi added another finger and pulled in and out of me, and I was flailing in the sheets all over again. Itachi's grip on me was so hard I knew I would be bruised by morning, but I didn't care, better said, the thought really didn't matter. Pain didn't register. It was twisted into the fire and melted away._

_Itachi shifted again, and his eyes focused on mine more intensely, and with his last look, was fitting himself inside of me, my eyes clenching and my fists balling even tighter as I danced in the sheets, praying to everything that I somehow survived the burning flames taking me captive in the smoldering heat of Itachi's strength and member, slowly inching inside of me. Itachi soon hit the barrier deep inside of me, his head shooting up again, making eye contact with me again._

_He was panting, a glimmer of sweat across his body, but shock, the first time I had ever seen that from him, written across his face. Not that he thought I was a whore that slept around, but he had no clue I was a virgin. "God Sakura..." he muttered in a deep voice, somewhat lost in a breathy exhale, and in a quick moment, broke the small barrier and thrusted deeply inside of me. I cried out loudly, not sure if I was feeling pain or pleasure. Itachi pushed harder, and I soon knew very well that it was not pain at all. _

_Far from it._

_My hands guided their way to his forearms, now digging my nails into him again, than twisting through his hair while Itachi pulsed in and out of me, each entrance pushing harder and faster, the fire seeming to dance now more than burn, a pleasuring sensation I had never known. _

_I clenched my teeth again, moaning again and kissing Itachi's neck as he continued to pump himself in and out of me, and with one last, hard, dive into me, coming to his climax, he pulled out and collapsed beside me, panting just as hard as I was._

_"You...never...told me...you were..." Itachi panted, staring at the sealing. "God damn Sakura..." he cursed again, which was rare for Itachi, though he was smiling proudly regardless.  
_

_I continued panting, the fire between my legs now merely a satisfied, humming pulse. I didn't regret this, I didn't regret Itachi being my first. Not realizing how much of an exhausting activity the act was, I tiredly had to drag my sore body beside Itachi, who wrapped an arm around my waist, still panting._

_I couldn't believe it. I just had sex...with Itachi. _

_And lived to tell about it!_

_...Though just who exactly would I tell? ..._

_I smiled warmly through my exhaustion, strangely...proud of myself. My first time was not a waste with just some guy that hit on me in a bar. Or wrote his number across a water bottle label. I gave myself to someone with views like mine, that cared for me, and was much more than what the world claimed him to be. Truth is, I didn't regret it at all. I wouldn't have it any other way. I belonged here, beside Itachi, and he needed me too. I was one person from the world that hated him, that saw that there was another world. A beautiful world where good girls like me and social outcasts like Itachi could be together.  
_

_We sat there like that for a good five or six minutes I'd say, and then Itachi shifted and got up and walked to the bathroom and turned the shower on. I sat up, pulling a sheet over myself and watched him pick up his scattered clothes._

_As he walked, he glanced over and caught me staring at him, and I blushed in response, still not used to being naked around a male, and likewise, a male being naked around me. _

_He watched my face flush and he smirked, continuing around the room casually. "You know, I was wondering why you freaked out about everything. I couldn't even touch you without your breath spiking, even when we were 'dating' And not to mention you always blushed any time I told the members we kissed, let alone had sex, or some other ungodly act." he mused, "Guess it all makes sense now.."_

_I huffed out, now even more embarrassed, "S..shut up! So I hadn't had sex before, big deal!" _

_Itachi was in the bathroom, and he walked back out with a towel around his waist, and he walked back to me, kneeling in front of me. There was a light amused pull at his lips, but his face read sincerity, "You were scared huh?" Almost more of a statement than an actual question._

_"A little..." I admitted, receiving a gentle kiss on the lips before he walked away for his shower._

_And I don't remember him getting out of the shower, or going back to the meeting. _

_I fell asleep._

_When I woke up, I was wearing an over sized shirt that smelt amazing; just like Itachi, and I could feel my underwear had magically found its way back on my hips again. I could feel Itachi beside me, and his arms around my waist. He was sleeping peacefully beside me, hair slightly disheveled around him. I could feel the fabric of his boxers against my legs, but otherwise bare skin._

_I wanted to squeal. I was wearing Itachi's shirt. Proof that our relationship was serious. Forget the emotional attachments, the fact that I might possible lo- yeah, that, forget it.._

_I couldn't allow myself to even think the word. Because if I did, it might become true. And it wasn't the commitment that scared it, it was the fear that he didn't...that he didn't feel that for me. And that would be worse than anything I could think of. So until I could find a solution to that fear, I wouldn't allow myself to even consider the possibilities, even though it was constantly on my mind._

_And with that in mind, I slowly faded back to sleep, praying that somehow morning never came and that I could stay frozen in time with Itachi forever._

_-------_

_-----_

_----_

_Morning came. _

_It came quickly really._

_And each step down the dirt road was harder and harder._

_The trip was rather silent. Both of us were taking the separation hardly, and it was difficult for us to express to the other person in words. But how do you express that you know that you found your other half, without breaking down in a fit of tears, knowing that you won't be able to even look at them, save for photographs, for an entire month? And for that matter, if I did have a photograph of Itachi, none of this would have happened to begin with. _

_The members wished us luck, telling us things like 'The goal is to get there without stopping every ten seconds for a sex break' and the idea was rather tempting to be honest. Not just the sex, but just staying with Itachi for even ten more seconds. Adding ten more seconds to my memories of him. His hair, body, intelligence, sensitivity, sense of humor, that half smirk that only fits his face...his coal eyes. Then it hit me.  
_

_How was I going to make it through this next month?! I couldn't! I couldn't do it! I saw no way that I could live in the streets of Konoha, trying to mold myself back into the walls of the city. Sure living a lie and telling S-ranked criminals you are dating one of them, sure. No problem. Going back to a place where people have known you and changed your diapers, and pretending that you didn't have a life changing experience? There was no way.  
_

_Itachi had become my strength, became my partner, now even physically bonded to him._

_...This morning was a funny morning getting ready. I had to give Itachi his shirt back, which ended in another spat of intense love making. Though what caught my memory wasn't the sex, it was his promise at the end. He said he wouldn't forget me. Even if I forgot him, he wouldn't forget me._

_And I would die a thousand deaths before I forgot about Itachi. But it encouraged me. Because I was worth remembering to him. I had made an impact on him, and he didn't want to write me off as just another closed chapter in the book of his life. So maybe...as long as I remembered Itachi...and knew that he was remembering me...then I could do it._

_I would find the power to live, day at a time.  
_

_I quickly questioned my decision, noticing a large set of brown earthen buildings appearing in the far distance. _

_My grip on Itachi's hand become tight, if not painful even. _

_The air around us became pained. _

_Because that wasn't just any city up ahead._

_It was Konoha._

_We were exceedingly close to the place where we needed to separate so we wouldn't be seen together. God forbid I be seen with my boyfriend, lover, and best friend._

_Salty tears began to burn my eyes and a painful lump lodged in my throat, me trying to fight the urge to cry. I knew it wouldn't help, and I had to stay strong. I couldn't let Itachi know how far I had fallen for him. Though as I told myself this, traitor tears ran down my cheeks, catching the attention of the Uchiha beside me immediately._

_In the same instant, Itachi held me in a tight hug, and at that, once again against my will so it seemed, I was sobbing. Itachi just held me, not making me feel weak or pathetic in any way. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't leave Itachi. He was my best friend and so much more. I didn't know what I was going to do for the next month._

_Itachi pulled me back, my eyes no doubt red and blood shot from my tears. "Sakura," his whispered, his voice broken and laced with sadness, "We can't be late.."_

_Oh the irony of Itachi still keeping me on schedule. Though I knew he just said that to prevent himself from saying something he would regret later. Some mushy statement that would haunt him for the next month, just like every touch and word would haunt me._

_Soon,_

_way too soon,_

_Itachi and I were inside of the forests that bordered Konoha._

_We had safely arrived at the place of our departure, unmarred._

_Physically at least._

_Itachi held both of my hands tightly, eyes sad and frantic- not normal for Itachi._

_Though give credit to where it's due, I wasn't in any better condition. In fact, compared to me, Itachi had the best poker face known to the human race._

_"Sakura.." he whispered again, searching my sea green eyes, "A month...and I will be back for you. I don't know what will happen from there, but I will find a way to make this work."_

_He pulled me forward against his body, and I was already whimpering sadly, hot tears searing my face_

_"I will not leave you Sakura!" he whispered harshly, determination coating his words fiercely._

_I cried back, somehow managing to communicate between sobs, "Itachi I'm scared..so scared! I- I can't do this! Itachi without you I'm-"_

_He held me tighter, "Sakura you have got to find the will."_

_Itachi pulled me back from him, fiddling with the ring on his hand from the Akatsuki. He pulled open my palm and closed my fingers around the small object_

_"There. I don't expect you to wear it of course, but I want you to keep that until I come back to you, as a promise that I haven't forgotten about you. A promise that I will come back to you." He emphasized the word, staring into my eyes hardly, praying that I trust his words enough to let him go.  
_

_I tightened my hand around the ring, nodding firmly, trying to pull myself together. I didn't want him to go...but he promised. He would come back for me. So, though it didn't make me happy...I would just have to accept it._

_After all, it was only a month right? Surely I could do one month without his daily smirking, terrifying red eyes, powerful aura, and just the general effect of being around Itachi._

_Itachi grabbed my chin, pulling me forward and kissing me, not even waiting to thrust his tongue into my mouth forcefully. I threw my arms around him, leaning into him and kissing him back with as much as I could give him, knowing that it would be the last._

_His hands traced the contours of my body, resting on my hips as he kissed me harsly._

_He pulled back, pushing me back with his arms. His eyes were focused on mine, and he couldn't hide the look of desperation and sorrow that perturbed his facial expressions._

_"Sakura, I've got to go. Tsunade will be expecting you soon."  
_

_I nodded again, tears welling up in my eyes again, lump returning to my throat. Itachi inhaled deeply, grabbing the back of my head and locking his lips against mine, moving his painfully slow across mine, and pulled away quickly before I could stop him. _

_"Sakura...I-" he sighed, pulling away from me._

_"I will come back Sakura." his sentence again was a promise that I knew I could hold him to, but I was still scared._

_I could only nod once again for the third time, knowing that if I tried to say anything, I would simply cry. He slid his hand down my arm, holding my hand for one last second before he turned around and vanished into thin air._

_Though just before he disappeared, I noticed something. A light bruise on his shoulders, and imprint of my delicate hands, complete with cuts from where my nails embedded him._

_And at that moment, when he disappeared, I knew._

_I could feel the string of my empty hands and the burn on my lips._

_I knew._

_And I wouldn't be able to tell him._

_"I.." I whispered, a squeak that came out in a sob like spasm_

_"I love you Itachi..!" I cried out to the forest, to a man that wouldn't even hear._

_And it was then that I fell to the ground and knew that my life would never be the same again._

_I sobbed uncontrollably, gripping at the one thing Itachi had left me. _

_Itachi would come back._

_He had to come back._

_Itachi would come back for me._

_That was the only thought that gave me enough strength to pick myself up off the ground and walk into the walls of Konoha._

_I didn't stop crying for a second._

_-------------------------------------------------_

_A/N: This is about 2,000 words longer than usual. Because this is a VERY special flashback as you can tell. Which means yes, I have been typing for over FIVE hours getting this chapter just right for you guys. I am ready to cry right now, little dramatic me. This is a beautiful chapter if I may say so myself, and on that note, that is because this might be the last flashback I have for a while. Because now you know where they started from. And as you can tell, there is much more to the beginning...but that is for a later time in the plot line kiddies. (Dude that rhymed!!!!) This story, I will reveal it to you now, is called broken mirror, because it is about a girl whose life is broken, and as she slowly pulls her life together, you find out her story piece by piece as she puts it all together. Because how can you understand the present, if you don't get the past. But why just tell it like a time line, when the story has much more value if you don't know all the pieces. Half of this story is the mystery of why she is what she is, how she got there, and how she is going to fix it. What fun is it for the reader if I just go beginning to end and you sit and read it like drone puppets, getting all the answers black and white. Life isn't black and white, and neither is any successful story in the world. So now you know why the title is Broken Mirror. _

_Comment please :DD  
_


	12. Chapter 12

I pulled at Itachi's ring, which I wore on a chain around my neck still to this day. Undoing the clasps, I pulled the small chain through my hair, setting it in my hand and closing my grip around it.

I sighed sadly, staring up into the black midnight skies of Konoha.

Even a simple week ago, I was so certain that I wanted to hate Itachi.

I was so certain for a full year now actually, so sure that I wanted to hate him and cause him pain. That I would somehow free myself from him and restart my life...but as this trip progressed, by complete chance honestly, I kept on hurting him.

And it didn't make me feel better.

At all.

It made me feel worse.

If I couldn't be happy, then he should be...for the both of us.

And if we were both hurting, I knew in my head that we should still be there for each other...but I couldn't.

I couldn't take back the things I had learned, as much as I begged to.

And the flashbacks were hitting me again. The dark stormy night, much like tonight's weather really. Cliche I know, but it set the mood quite well. I had waited for Itachi, a long, miserable and painful month. I mastered the ability to hold a facade, thanks to that month actually. Though I was quickly happy to be back and Konoha, be back with my friends and manage to find hope in the village again as time progressed...I never forgot Itachi. And I anxiously awaited our worlds to collide. Until then though, I continued in my normal life, sake runs for Tsunade...and if anyone asked it was a bottle of tea- hot white leaf tea, going on the occasional weekend mission, "No Tsunade, I learned nothing about Uchiha Itachi."

And it all led to that night.

------------------------------

_I paced in the empty halls of the rundown Uchiha residence, eerie feeling in the air. _

_Itachi was coming today, and he would be coming here. It was the only place he could go in the village without being caught, and I couldn't exit the village unless I was on a mission._

_If Itachi was coming back, he would find me._

_Konoha was important to me, but I could never forget the magic...mystery that I craved so desperately._

_Though as I waited, the still, desolate air seemed to coat my lungs, and my mind began to wander._

_Imagine._

_What would it have been like that night? To be in the clan, the day the massacre happened?_

_I could already see it. A family out about, others practicing for the academy test, others perhaps talking with friends across the street_

_When suddenly-_

_A terrorizing scream rips through the air. _

_Then silence._

_Not quite sure what to make of it, the people perhaps shrug, and continue on doing whatever it was they were before. _

_And then another scream._

_Soon, people would be running in the streets frantically, fear seeming to suddenly coat the night air._

_Daring Uchihas grabbing their holsters and kunais, prepared to risk their lives to protect their clan. Families racing their crying children indoors, fathers swearing to return. The mother's prayer that he would. _

_I could imagine the mother gripping their children tightly, suddenly not sure there would be a tomorrow, hiding in a cupboard or pantry with only a crack of light and the blood curdling screams to sedate them. The sheer terror enough to stop your heart cold when they heard footsteps creak forward to the pantry door. The instant realization that this could be a bad situation, praying with everything in them that the attacker wasn't at their doorstep. That it wasn't the one that had the great Uchiha name trembling._

_The door would slowly creak open, and relief would flood through the mother, seeing the recognizable face of a fellow Uchiha._

_Itachi Uchiha._

_The mother would almost be so joyous, I could see her at the point of laughing at the level of stress she was at. But no more. It was Itachi, the clans best and most promising was here, katana in hand, fighting to protect his loved ones and their great name! They were safe! I could even see them talking to him._

_"Oh Itachi, I'm so glad it's you!" or_

_"Itachi thank god!"_

_I could see their faces twist, ever so slightly in confusion, as Itachi stared at them with cold, crimson eyes, still not understanding, but becoming suspicious._

_Why did he raise his katana and not a helping hand? _

_All in an instant, but you'd be surprised how fast the brain can think. How fast an Uchiha mind can analyze their surroundings. How fast they would put two and two together._

_Could words even describe the sheer pain from that one moment?_

_Itachi, the best the Uchihas had ever seen...was...he was the one killing them. HE was the enemy. Their own flesh and blood!_

_Why would he do that? What happened to the pride star of the Uchihas? _

_Why?_

_And suddenly, they had to forget their pain, knowing now that this was the enemy, and if they didn't fight to survive, they would die._

_But by the time they came to that mindset, it was far too late._

_And then, their own scream of agony would tear into the atmosphere, adding to the deaths of the Uchihas._

_I couldn't help but wonder why they screamed._

_Was it from the physical pain, so close to death?_

_Was it knowing that the clan had no hope, Itachi taking them down from the inside out?_

_Was it seeing their children beside them, dead?_

_Or was it a combination of everything?_

_What were they thinking, as they laid there bleeding? Knowing that they wouldn't be surviving. Would they even want to survive? Could words begin to describe their feelings of betrayal and hurt? Would they cry, watching Itachi walk out, not even sparing a step to look back at them in regret?_

_I could see men glaring at Itachi, so long having hated him for being so talented. Jealous of the praise he had recived from birth. Many even secretly aspired to be like him I bet, wanting to bring such honor and respect to the Uchiha name like he did. How their blood must have boiled, seeing him throw it all. Like he was too good for them. How his cold passe eyes didn't seem to be affected by the deaths of his comrades and clan members, by his own hand._

_They probably cursed at him, swearing that they would kill him, only to quickly fall like the rest. Pride broken. Hope torn. Itachi was destroying them._

_Why?_

_And what of his current or past girlfriends that day? The hurt that must have caused them._

_'Surely he won't kill me...Itachi loves me..' they would tell themselves, praying they were right. Because if they weren't...they knew their fate. And they would be proven wrong. Tears in their eyes, pain in their hearts. Itachi...their lover, best friend, shoulder to cry on.. just...killed them. Could you even immagine how that would hurt, forget about the physical pain. The emotional scarring was so immense._

_It sent chills down my spine._

_I was Itachi's girlfriend._

_I had no clue what I would do if Itachi tried to kill me. I don't even know if I would fight back. Was it even worth being alive, if the person you love the most, is trying to kill you? What would be important enough to keep yourself alive after that? Even a breakup would be hard, but compared to a death? _

_I slowly began to feel pain for the Uchiha clan. It wasn't a night of deaths- the last fight to keep alive._

_It was pain._

_Pain so intense, it couldn't be severed with a blade._

_An emotional pain so deep that the physical death itself was left a mere sting in comparison. _

_That night was the heartbreak of an entire clan for one of their own. Each member felt the pain and devastation as they fell to their bloodied knees and onto the floor._

_'Itachi...why?' _

_Only to be released into the grip of death on that dark night._

_And soon, I found myself muttering the same words, finally understanding the effects of the massacure_

_"Itachi...why?" I whispered, finding tears in my eyes. It couldn't be true...I simply couldn't be! Right? Itachi was always so selfless around me and always putting me first, Itachi wouldn't do this! _

_I was NOT in love with a murderer!! I just couldn't be! There had to be a reason why Itachi did this! For all my sanity, there had to be a reason! _

_A reason we could still be together!!_

_But something told me...that it was all true. That I had made the biggest mistake of my life.  
_

_"This place has an eerie feeling still...doesn't it Sakura?"_

_My eyes shot open widely. Itachi was here...but I couldn't turn around. I couldn't. Not until I knew for sure._

_I could hear Itachi walk up behind me, less than a foot away now._

_"Itachi...all of those innocent people..." I whispered again, my voice weak and close to breaking._

_They didn't deserve to die...to feel such hurt, and then die._

_"God Itachi!! Tell me it's a lie!!" I begged in a loud sob, fear mixing in my voice._

_This was unreal. What had I gotten myself into? Itachi killed them!  
_

_"It's true Sakura." _

_His words bit into me like sharpened ice, slowly melting as I took it in._

_"You know the story." he resolved, voice monotone and cold._

_My first instinct? Run. Run from the mad killer. Grab every skilled ninja around and drive him from Konoha...from my life. But as I thought this, memories flashed back of the kind hearted Itachi, all the smiles, times he would hold me, the smirks, competitions...It couldn't be true. But now, it wasn't me convincing myself that. It just plainly couldn't be true. And suddenly, I found myself rehashing through his words, seeing past the outward expression. There was more behind his words...a test. To see if I really was different like I told him I was, so long ago. And in that instant, I saw through it all._

_Itachi wasn't saying the__ truth, he was saying a truth._

_There was a difference._

_Itachi had talked about this the first time I had met him. Truth was a mirage set up by our own minds. But I didn't understand that until now. 'You know the story' And it clicked further, as I ran through his words sentence by sentence. _

_It was all a lie._

_And we let Itachi down._

_Everything about that night was suspicious, yet even myself, not even thinking Konoha could be wrong, forgot the fact that their story left so many holes unfilled and just accepted it as fact. To this day, no one understands his motive. Why there was still an air of mystery around it all. Why he never came back to take out the surviving Uchiha, or why he left him alive in the first place. The story just didn't fit. Yet all they had to do was tell a story- here you go- and pray that no one dares question you.  
_

_And we believed it._

_All of it. _

_Forget the fact that it didn't make sense, if you simply thought over it for ten seconds you could see that, and forget that they had no proof. It was just so easy to say Itachi was a killing psycho, and after he killed everyone, bolted out of the village and joined the most evil of organizations known to the ninja world. It became a truth._

_Not the truth._

_My voice was back, and I wasn't afraid anymore. Because Itachi wasn't a killer. There was more to it. I didn't know what, but I knew what was important to me._

_"Just because its the story...doesn't mean its true." I didn't know the truth, but I knew what wasn't true. It was obvious. Itachi didn't act like a heartless killer..because he wasn't one. I turned around confidently, "Itachi I have to know." My eyes scanned his, and I didn't waver in the slightest._

_Itachi slighed, leaning against a support beam on the streets edge._

_"It never should have happened. But the third...well...by the time he was ready to assist my case, it was far too late."_

_What? He wasn't even making sense. What did the third have to do with any of this? And...who all knew this was going to happen? He spoke as if...he didn't plan it. Which means someone else did. But who would want something so horrible?  
_

_"Itachi..I am not following.." I shook my head in confusion._

_Itachi sighed again, closing his eyes in mental preparation. "Well lets start at the beginning. The founding of Konoha. Two of the strongest clans came together to prevent the world to destroy itself. We didn't exactly get along, but it was for the betterment of the world that we joined forces. _

_Konoha was born._

_But not without its prejudices though._

_Our clans still warred against each other, and as government was established, Uchiha's were quickly put at a disadvantage. We were put in our own area, told it was a privalege. We became the police force of Konoha, setting up many of the ways Konoha's ninja still operate to this day-"_

_The police force was a great honor. All citizens knew of the Uchihas and how honored they were._

_"-but it wasn't to benefit us. It was to watch the clan. Separate them from the rest of the village. Ostracize them from the people. Making us even less influential in the village."_

_..._

_...It was to...tear them down? What kind of a place was Konoha...?_

_"Uchiha's simply had enough. They were planning to overthrow the other clan from the government of Konoha, well better restated, Root. The third saw Konoha as one village, not two clans. Though, being as he was just put back in from the death of the 2nd, he still wasn't as powerful as Root, who fills in leadership between time of the hokage."_

_Root. I knew it. But hearing this...I wished I was wrong. Konoha was founded on hatred, secrets and pure lust for more power._

_"This is where I came in. Root knew that I would put the village's safety before my own, and gave me a mission. Kill all of the Uchiha's."_

_My eyes widened, sharp breath._

_Root...ordered..Itachi_

_To kill the Uchihas?!_

_Why? Why would they want such a horrible thing? Though I already knew the answer._

_Power. They would no longer be bound by the fear of the Uchiha race overtaking them one day. They would forever rule Konoha with no dark past and no one to point their fingers and show they were a bad dark people._

_It all made sense. _

_That's why they didn't have any records, past history._

_The Uchihas were their past history._

_Everything they went through, the Uchihas were there, watching their dark dealings and waiting for the day the could take them down._

_They had to be eliminated._

_Tears brimmed at my eyes. Konoha. My village of Konoha. The place I would give my life for...was all a lie! The way they got so strong was by killing off all threats while they were weak! And I lived it! I lived in this lie, a smile on my face, telling myself I was fighting for dreams of the city, that I had something worth fighting for. I would help turn the world around._

_Ha. My optimism now only served to make me sick. Itachi was right. I didn't want to know the truth. At this point, I would give anything to know A truth, and not the truth. I didn't want to believe it. To know I wasted my life, serving Root. Following Itachi by their own sick requests._

_Itachi cut in, thinking I was crying over his role in it, "Sakura, I had to! The Uchihas had the power to take over Konoha and that couldn't happen."_

_"Why not?!" I snapped, wishing that they would have taken down the darkness in Konoha before it all went so wrong.  
_

_"Civil war Sakura? If Konoha broke out in war, all nations would have fought as well. The peace of Konoha was the teetering latter for the entire world. If Konoha fell, the ninja world would go right back to fighting anyone and everyone. So much useless deaths."_

_"Could I really choose my clan...over the entire world?"_

_Itachi's voice was soft, as if asking himself more than me. And he was right._

_My eyes seemed to glaze over, as if my soul had left my body. This was....unreal. The Uchihas were killed out of...greed. Cold blood._

_And Itachi was the tool used, and got the blame for it all._

_That was his mission._

_To kill them, and live a life of misery while his worst enemies continued ruling in the village he loved._

_It was sickening._

_This was what my life was for...this...this lie! _

_And that was when I decided something. I hated truth._

_I would never ask questions again._

_I would take any lie someone gave me, if if meant that I didn't have to bear the pain of knowing the truth._

_Never again.  
_

_--------------------------------------------------------_

"Thought I would find you here Sakura." Itachi stated, calm voice.

"It was raining." I reasoned.

I was not just in the rundown Uchiha houses, but in Itachi's home...Itachi's room actually.

I felt safe there.

"Sakura I didn't want to put you through all of this. I know what Konoha means to you.."

"No Itachi...I don't think you do." I corrected him. How could he know...when I myself didn't? I always wanted to stay in Konoha, even when I found out about the Uchiha massacure, I told myself that if I stayed I could somehow turn it around. But that dream quickly died.

"Itachi...if I say something...you have to promise you won't respond."

"Alright...?"

I took a deep breath, "...I don't hate you." I said, turning out to be much easier than I thought it would.

As promised, there was no response from Itachi. I don't know if he was happy, or shocked, or if he already knew. It didn't matter. Because at this moment I didn't have to worry about his feelings for me.

It was about him.

And somehow, past all of the hell he had pulled me through with him, there just might be a way to love him again.

But all I could do now was stare outside at the rain falling down until I fell asleep, then being carried to bed by Itachi.

Eyes coal.

------------------------------------

A/N: And I bet you thought I wouldn't update huh? Muahaha I am full of suprises! Ok and I have to apologize, as I did say that last chapter was the last flashback, but I changed my mind. Because I wanted to bring in the Uchiha thing, but I think that people over look that and just 'oh yeah he killed them all' and really stop and think about how bad such an event would really be. I tried add some insight to it and make it more applicable, but I barely scratched the devastation such an event would bring. So that is me trying to put it into prespective for you, because Sakura finally got it, and the idea of dating a killer freaked her out. You have to understand what she was thinking.

...Sorry I am just really into getting the perfect character. And I don't always suceed, but I can promise you that I try. Let's set up next deadline. Umm...lets say Thursday. About a week but not quite. I'll post by then okay? Until then, comments please. I love reading them. Makes me feel special! Till thurday,

Midnight!


	13. Chapter 13

I woke up, a feeling of guilt and regret instantly twisting inside my stomach. This was the seconds night in a row I had woke up in Itachi's arms, and it didn't feel any better than the first time. Letting your guard down and falling asleep in the arms of the enemy....that is something words cannot portray. Though this time, I didn't shoot up out of bed and demand an explanation. I could feel it.

A part of me was giving up.

Not just the fight, but everything. Life itself even. It was so much easier to get by when you simply don't give a damn. And that scared me.

I didn't want to become a living container for a dead soul and broken spirit, but as each day passed; things just seemed to slip away so fast.

I nudged at the man beside me, "Itachi...come on...wake up. Kisame will go looking for us soon and-"

"-I'm awake Sakura. I have been for some time now." (And if that doesn't shut you up.)

His voice was calm and cool, content. But he couldn't hide the sting of pain that lined his voice faintly. Wounds from yesterdays display no doubt. He was close to cracking me, _so_ close. But one step forward...two steps back. His advance...an emotional breech...scared me too. I couldn't help it, I put up every defense I had just to keep him out...keep me in control. Because letting go was just that; letting go. Letting go of any chance I had from life outside of Itachi- and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that again.

I don't know if I will ever be ready to just let it go, and pretend that it didn't happen. Pretend that I didn't know the horrible truth behind Itachi's life, pretend that I didn't give up and destroy my entire life for him. Pretend that I could love Itachi without the consequences of my choice.

But, it wasn't me being mad at him. At least, not any more. In fact, I could care less at this point, it was hurt. And pain. Knowing that even if you did, for say, manage to get away, you would still be left with the biggest part of the problem.

Yourself.

Itachi, I soon realized wasn't my real problem. Yes, all my problems revolved around him and could be directly related to him, but they were mere complications that came with loving a 'killer' that was a member of the Akatsuki.

Here was the real question. (A days worth of walking gives you the time you need to sort out these things)

Was being with Itachi really worth all of the pain that came with him?

I was afraid of the answer, and I refused to even attempt to answer. I truly didn't _want_ to know the answer. If it was worth it...could I really live with Itachi and the pain of bearing his sufferings with him? But on the other hand...even if I _did_ leave Itachi, completely turn my life around some miraculous way...could I ever truly forget? And move on for that matter?

I just don't know any more. Especially not in Konoha.

"Sakura, you sure you can do this?"

I could feel my body tense in his hold. An instant bad move. Itachi sat up, alert from my base reaction to his question. "Sakura..." he repeated, voice firm and expectant of an answer.

I rolled on my side, hiding my face from him. Lying was easier if he couldn't analyze my face with his all knowing eyes (complete with smirk I might add)

"Itachi. I will be fine" Translation? _No Itachi. I will not be fine. I will never be fine. I just can't do this alone!_

"Look...I'll just get through day by day...and if it gets too hard I'll stay at the hotel. Promise." _I'm scared. And I don't want you to leave me. Life is so hard, and you are the only one I can turn to!_

I gave a convincing smile, affirmative nod. I was getting good at this, something that I always regret. You always hope that there is some one out there that can see through your mask, but in time, you learn to fool that one and only person too. ...But you can't ever fool yourself. No amount of lying on earth would change the fact that I was NOT ready for this mission.

"...Are you sure?" Itachi wasn't convinced, but close enough. Just a bit more persuasion...

"Yes Itachi." _I'm not sure about anything right now. ...Please understand that!_

Itachi's eyes narrowed, piercing into me like I knew they would. I carefully hardened my face, not to respond to his gaze. Could he see past my lies? ...See how weak and confused the past few days had made me? What would he do if he did...? Would he jump on the situation, persuade me to forgive him and love him again? Would he hold me, watching me succumb to tears and watch everything melt away?

Apparently not.

Itachi nodded slowly, gazing into the wall. Not even the eyes of Itachi could see through the lies...that I secretly wished he could have.

I sat up from the bed, Itachi dropping his arms from my body and crossed across his chest. And in that moment?

Alarms set off in the entire village of Konoha. Even I tensed, being raised knowing that those alarms meant to be on your guard, that something was very, very wrong. My anxiety quickly fell. I knew Itachi and I hadn't done anything to cause the village to go into alert, perhaps Kisame did something reckless. Though, the alarms were going off, regardless how or why. One thing was for certain now, our mission would be that much more difficult with everyone on alert.

"That's unfortunate..." I mumbled, standing on the cold wooden floor. Itachi gave a light sigh from behind me in agreement. For people of his caliber- hell even my caliber- this didn't stop him for a second. Just made it more difficult. Nothing more. "...We best find Kisame before someone else finds us..." I added in, though Itachi was already standing. As for sensing chakra, I was better (don't get too amazed. Itachi didn't _need_ to sense chakra...he could see it.) so I began my search; and if it weren't for Kisame's unique signature from Samehada, I would have never found him. It was nearing the impossible to track any of the Akatsuki's. I even knew that before I 'joined'.

"He's outside the village. I'd say...about...two kilometers northwest from the gate. It appears he is stationary. Must be waiting for us." Itachi nodded at my analogy, and in a flash we were both gone, quickly making our way out of the Uchiha premises before we were discovered.

After I left the village, Itachi trained me himself. (...Talk about a slave driver.) Before, he would freak out if I merely leaped too far from a tree...like a weak breakable child. But soon he would beat me himself. He said I needed to tough up. Grow up. I was weak.

Over. And over.

If you thing physical pain is bad, just wait until the person you respect the most tells you consistently that you don't have what it takes. That you never will. You are weak.

And when you are broken to nothing, then and _only then_ are you rebuilt into something more. Miserable process. Complete hell.

But I became much stronger than before. Much, much stronger. I was...am..a trained, lethal weapon.

Such power scared me. Itachi didn't like that. He said I should embrace it, but knowing how to kill over a hundred people without getting scratched...that was not something I was ever planning on embracing. Ever wanting to embrace. No one needed to be that strong. And to this day, it still scares me.

"Kisame," I called, seeing him from a distance. We landed beside him quickly, "what happened- the alarms have been set off!"

Itachi gazed at his partner for explanation, an odd tenseness in the air. Kisame sighed, "I was being careless. One of the guards saw me and next thing I know they are going off. But we can go in anyways, just be more cautious."

Was he serious? He knew nothing about Konoha! Even for Akatsuki, it would be incredibly hard to infiltrate Konoha when every single trained and untrained villager had their eyes peeled for suspicious activity. They never had 'drills'. If the alarm was going off, you knew something was wrong. Something serious. Someone with the stealth of Itachi could do it...but a three man squad? Not a chance.

"Kisame no! You don't understand how Konoha works! If you want to get in, then...no! Just no!" I shrieked, seeing instant doom for all of us.

Kisame laughed slightly, his pride instantly telling him to ignore my wisdom, "Sakura-" he said my name mockingly, "I'm sure we can handle it- maybe you can't but-"

"Sakura is right Kisame. Listen to her." Itachi's tenor voice cut in viciously, cutting off Kisame mid sentence. Uncommon for Itachi, not one to interrupt. Kisame pursed his lips agitatedly. He didn't like being told such things. Especially after just making a big deal about being right and me being wrong. He leaned up against the tree, trying to shrug it off "Alright then wise one Sakura, you got a plan then?"

I spoke quickly, too quickly. "Only one person can go in. They'll go in, get the information." Kisame tried to cut in, but I wasn't ready for him to throw me down quite yet, "BUT- this person has to know everything about Konoha! They need to know the village layout...but not only that" my mind twisted and clouded, trying to form a plausible plan to outsmart my own village. I didn't even register what I was saying. "You also need to know the people though...strengths and weaknesses. You need to know where to go and the perfect time where people go do this or that and-"

"Well sounds like the only one that can do all of that is you. If you are certain that is the only way." Kisame added, rather sincerely now. His statement brought me back down to earth. I thought over what I had said. I was right...but it couldn't be me! I couldn't go back into Konoha...especially by myself! How could I get out of this...?

"That is the only way but-" I whispered now, wishing I hadn't talked so big. Because I was right...but _because_ I was right...I couldn't back down. I was loyal to Akatsuki now and this was a mission. Kisame added in quickly, not understanding my story like Itachi did, "Great, so go in and get the job done. You know all of that stuff and more right?"

"...Well yeah...but" my voice was getting weaker and weaker by the second. I could feel Itachi's hard gaze on me, telling me to shut the situation down before it went to far. But how could I? There was no other way. Itachi might be able to pull it off, but if he got hurt I wouldn't be there to heal him, and if he got caught I would just have to go in anyway.

"But what? You are going to do this...right?" Kisame finished plainly.

I sighed, which Itachi tensed at with a sharp breath. Yes...I was going to. I couldn't believe it.

"Sakura. What are you doing?" he hissed, glaring at me displeasedly. I turned to him, my eyes full of sorrow. "Itachi...I've got to. You know there isn't another way. You _know_ there isn't."

"We can figure something out!" Itachi stated, eyes boring into mine still.

It sounded like someone else saying these words, because this Sakura was scared and would never do something crazy like this. She would cower away and let the world trample on her before she ever put herself into a situation like this. "Itachi, I'm going into the village. I'll go in, I'll gather every bit of information I can, I'll come back to you. If I'm not back in three days, leave without me."

I turned to head into Konoha, though Itachi grabbed my wrist almost painfully tight. His voice was coated in acid...better said..fear. He knew me better than anyone else. He knew I wasn't ready for this. He just wanted to protect me.

"Sakura. You. Are. Not. Going." His red angry eyes thin thin slits, his face almost entangled in a snarl. He was concerned, and didn't like the fact that he wasn't in control of the situation.

I sighed, pulling the chain off my neck in a quick easy motion. I twisted his hand around and set the chain in his palm. "Three days Itachi. This is now my turn to promise on this ring, that I _will_ come back to you."

Itachi's eyes seemed to haze over at the familiar words and conversation, his hand closing slowly over the delicate metal.

And I ran forward, leaving my protective bubble, but also my iron cage. I wanted freedom and I had it. But what would I do with it...?

I came into the village, using the west walls. It was guarded less because of the forest beside it. It would be harder to get through unnoticed because of the dense greenery, but if you knew the landscape as well as a village member...or ex member did...then it was quite the advantage. The alarms still blared loudly through the village speakers, and I knew this would be hard. I needed to know about village plans, and catch up with Naruto, who was still a target to the Akatsuki.

Which meant Tsunade's office.

I could use each day to grab a bit more and more, and by the time any one would notice, I would be gone. Her desk was always cluttered. No one would immediately see a file or two missing, or replaced and moved slightly. Three days would be just enough time to get it all finished.

Though I didn't like the idea of helping out Akatsuki and hurting Konoha, I tried not to think about about it as I surged further and further into the village. I fought the urge to cry with almost every step. I used to walk in this village freely, people would wave and smile proudly 'That's Sakura Haruno, working so hard for the village.' or 'That's a role model there. She does us proud.' And now here I was, hiding in the shadows praying to every god that ever existed that I don't get caught.

Why did I ever choose this life? I had it so good in Konoha, before I knew the evil that created the place.

Remembering the sad truth, I was slightly strengthened and pushed further into the village. Konoha was not a pure innocent village. It was all about lies and making people believe what they tell them to. I did not want to support that and die for such a horrible nightmare.

About an hour passed by- very slowly, and very painfully I might add. My back and legs were tense from squatting down or ducking from passing villages, or jumping high into a tree to avoid being seen. And I had gained what, like maybe a hundred feet? Things would move much quicker under the cover of darkness, and the alarms did stop going off eventually. Though the village would still be tense and over aware of every broken twig, at least the it was quieter and not polluted with that incessant screech of the alarms.

And then the tables shifted.

A band of ninja. Not just any ninja. My peers. Instantly.

Right in front of me.

"Sakura. We need to talk."

I stared at them dumb foundedly. Naruto...Kakashi....Shikamaru....Ino

All here.

Still here.

Living for nothing.

Or...was I the one living for nothing?

My head began spinning. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to go in, and go out. No one said I would have to face my old life again! No one told me that going back meant reliving every moment in Konoha! This wasn't fair!!

Why did Itachi ever have to tell me?!

Kakashi crossed his arms, "Do we have to restrain you or will you go willingly?"

It took a while for his question to register. My mind was frantically running in circles, and I truly wondered why I hadn't had an emotional breakdown yet. I had two completely different lives, and the two colliding simply hurt. That was the best way to say it. It just hurt. Worse than any weapon ever could.

"Go...where go?" I mumbled, rather dumbly.

Naruto smiled, "To an old friend. Don't worry Sakura-chan. We'll fix you, whatever they did to you, you'll be back to your old self in no time."

And that's how I found myself in Tsunade's office.

Tsunade was pouring me a cup of coffee, and a cup of 'hot tea' for herself. (Some things will never change.)

"Sakura."

God I missed the sound of her irritated voice. It was much more exciting and readable than Itachi, who never gave anything away unless he wanted to.

"We have been expecting you would return to the village for some time now." That would explain the alarms...

No! No, I didn't want to be a hero. Don't paint me to be something I'm not! If only you knew that I was here to help Akatsuki...

"Though we expect you are under a genjutsu. No doubt the Akatsuki has bugged your mind. But we won't let them hurt you any more."

Bug...me? Genjutsu? Was I really that much of a good girl that they would believe I was under a genjutsu before they believed I simply did something against Konoha? Tsunade's sharp gaze moved to my former teammates, "Leave us. It will be a simple procedure to fix her, you are free." They all nodded, some smiling with hope as they walked out.

Naruto paused and walked over to me, "Sakura I swear we will get Itachi back for this mess he put you under. Konoha won't let this just blow away. We_ will_ avenge this." and he joined them and left as well. My mouth literally fell open slightly, unbelieving my ears. Was this seriously happening? If I knew I would have had a welcoming party I would have walked in the front entry way, saved myself the back ache.

The second the door shut, Tsunade's face dropped.

"Sakura, what the _hell_ are you doing?!" she glared, slamming her sake- or 'tea glass' onto her desk, spilling its contents. I snapped my eyes shut. Well, could have seen this coming. "You have been gone for over two years now, and both of us know its not some damned genjutsu!" I gripped my coffee cup tighter, feeling...guilty. Konoha- right or wrong, was my village. My home. No matter how screwed up your home is, you don't go and drop the f bomb and hope things turn out better.

"Do you love him Sakura?" she asked more gently, and my eyes shot open. No one had ever asked me flat out before...especially after this last year.

My voice stammered, "I...I don't know..." and that was the most honest I had been in a very long time. The only thing I was certain of...was that I was uncertain. Rather pathetic huh?

Tsunade gave a long sigh, standing up and staring out of her window, "Sakura...I'm going to make you a deal that you would be flat out stupid to resist."

I nodded, still feeling guilt twist and churn in my stomach.

"I am going to offer you your old life back Sakura. Right back to where you were before. We need you Sakura, I can't afford to find your replacement. No consequences."

My old life back? No consequences? This was a dream come true! This was the break I was looking for! This was the freedom I had desired! I could leave Itachi and still have a life! A good, respectable life, and my past would simply blow away, forgotten as if it never happened.

"Tsunade...I..." I stammered, litterally unsure how to respond. This was all so sudden. I didn't know what I wanted. Itachi and I...but Konoha was...

What should I do?

Tsunade sat back down, "Let's make this easy Sakura. A life of misery and constant pain...or a life of respect in Konoha?-"

Her gaze intensified.

"Do you choose Itachi...or Konoha?"

----------

A/n: Whoot whoot! This whole dead line thing takes getting used to, but it keeps me writing and updating for my fans that will COMMENT LIKE MAD on this chapter. Seriously please do. Ask me questions or even if its lame like 'OMGHEE11!!1 TH4T WAZ SO GUD!! I 3ED ITT111!!! PLZ PLZ KEP WRITING ER ILL BITE U1!!1' ...But maybe not so noobish :DD

And hey, what do you think of the no flashbacks? First chapter in a LONG time huh? I personally LOVE flashbacks (as you can tell) but they have to be used correctly. Bleh who cares honestly. I hope you guys are liking the story so far and thank you so very much for reading. Next dead line? Well lets say...next Wenesday. Yay.

Midnight


	14. Chapter 14

I couldn't believe it.

After all I had done...betrayed everyone.... I could leave it all behind me? But, how could I choose? I had betrayed Konoha, and just because they let me didn't mean I could instantly drop my past and embrace my old life again.

"Tsunade, you know I can't make this decision right away. I just can't.." I whispered, an honest pleading in my voice. Tsunade was much like an older sister to me, it felt as if I were talking to her only yesterday. She laced her fingers in front of her face, concentration over how to handle the unique situation.

"How long do you have?" she asked, still concentrating on the desk in front of her. Ah. She knew they were here waiting for me. Clever as always.

"Three days." I still felt a tie of loyalty...not to Konoha exactly, but to her. I owed her as much. "Well then, lets say three days." she finalized, sitting back in her chair officially. I nodded slowly, staring rather ashamedly into the ground. Tsunade continued, "I don't mind you exploring the village freely. In fact, I would like it if you did." her gaze on me was tense, but not over bearing by any means "-You could use the influence. I just don't want you making contact with Itachi and his partner." she added.

I was slightly alarmed. I didn't want them to engage in combat on either side. In my mind, they were still two worlds that I willed not to collide. Each time they did it seemed to tear me in half relentlessly. "Tsunade....you're not going to...?"

She shook her head where my words trailed off, finishing my thought. "If you don't try to run off and peruse them, I won't send people out...even though I would like to. I will keep it fair for you and them." I gave a small sigh of relief at her gracious deal, and nodded quickly.

Tsunade reemphasized her point, "This is serious Sakura. I don't want them effecting your decision! ...I'm not going to gauge or spy on you. I know in the end you will choose to take the right path. So until these next three days have passed, do what you need to to figure this mess out. Now if you would please, I've got paper work to file no thanks to Shizune, and I know for certain a blonde haired loud mouth will be harassing me if you aren't released soon. "

I nodded slowly, standing up with a half bow and turned around to leave. "Oh by the way Sakura, meeting at five. As my secretary and apprentice, I can't afford you to be late. Five o' clock." And I couldn't help but feel a smile tug at my lips. Just like they used to be. Nothing has changed at all. And maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

I found myself wandering back in the streets of Konoha...freely. And the best part? Everyone was _happy_ I was back. No one frowned or pointed at me darkly. I was constantly shocked at how...normal it felt. Like I never had left at all.

Like I never had met Itachi at all.

Maybe I really could move on from it all? Konoha was my home...

"Sakura! Sakura hey!" Naruto's voice called out, each second his voice becoming louder and louder. Quickly, four of my past comrades were all running for me, and I could only stand dumbfound in the middle of the path. Shikamaru, Kiba, Naurto and Ino. I was somewhat spaced out from seeing so many of my past companions running towards me after all of this time. It was so nostalgic needless to say. "Sakura-chan!" Naruto repeated my name with a wave, smile wide with excitement.

I was over come with a sudden feeling of...calm. Like a giant storm had passed in my life. I was...safe.

I was home.

And instantly...I was sobbing. For years, ever sense the day I left, I was afraid of Konoha. Afraid they would hate me for simply being alive. I didn't want to face the consequences for my actions, sad, but I was afraid of facing my friends. I never wanted to hurt them. I just wanted a way for me to live in both worlds, but one world was one person, the other was a whole village. The ratio seemed laughable at this point. And it was sad, because the promise to return to Itachi still spun darkly in the back of my head.

But now that I was back....it was all lifted away like an ominous cloud pierced by the sun.

Naruto was just as quickly holding me, a weak smile on his face, feeling the pain with me, "Sakura-chan...it's alright. You are safe now and he can't hurt you any more." he whispered, and even though he really had no clue what he was saying, it took to heart. Konoha could protect me. Konoha could free me from Itachi.

"Naruto!! Get your of the way, you'll just make it all worse!!" The unmistakable, just as demanding voice of Ino hissed violently, and Naruto fell to the ground with a thud. In his place...a much changed Ino. A much changed....pregnant...Ino.

"Sakura, are you ok?" she held the side of face, staring into my eyes seriously as if she would be able to read me better. Compared to Itachi this was a joke. I continued to have a shocked, disbelieving face while Ino continued ranting, "You've been gone for two years now with that man! I was concerned he wouldn't ever let you go!" she seemed to act as if she were in more pain than I was, rather dramatic as always, then she paused with a gasp. "He didn't _do_ anything to you did he?" she asked suspiciously. Her eyes narrowed as she waited impatiently for my answer.

Suddenly all of their eyes were glued on me, an obvious curiosity they all shared. My face was rather shocked still, even more so at the bluntness of her question. "Um...no.." I slurred, no difficulty answering. Itachi was a complete gentlemen, he would never harm or do anything improper. Especially to me. Ino, unsatisfied, liberated for further detail, "He didn't rape you?" The gazes got more tense, and if I had stayed with anyone other than Itachi, I would be blushing furiously, "No! Of course not Ino.."

"Didn't force you heal him constantly?"

"...No."

"Didn't abuse you?"

"No."

"Didn't make you tell everything you knew about Konoha?"

"Not really.."

"He didn't force you to do his will and dirty work for him?"

"Nope."

"Didn't use the sharingan on you until you broke?"

"....No, Ino..." Man, they were creative. Though I guess two full years of believing your friend was kidnapped and unable to return to the village would get your mind spinning.

"Did he make you sing to him at night?!" Naruto jumped in, rather loudly. Apparently, some minds were spinning more wildly than others. The group paused at the ridiculous...and strangely awkward question...not even bothering to wait for my answer. Though for reputation of Itachi, I gave it anyways.

"No."

There was a rather long silence, until Kiba spoke up "Naruto, why in the _world_ would he want that?" Naruto, now defensive, stuttered slightly, "You...You never know that Itachi! Poor Sakura probably doesn't even remember half of the horrid experiences he put her through!"

I rolled my eyes, biting my tongue. I wanted to stand up for Itachi, but in this current position, it wouldn't do any good whatsoever. Ino relaxed her grip on my face, and rested her hands on my shoulders. "But you are ok, right?"

"Yes, of course." I answered, surprisingly sincere, switching the conversation to the biggest question on my mind.

"But Ino...you're...you're-" I added, hoping she would finish the conversation. She smiled, "Drop dead gorgeous? You know, that's why I was afraid he would rape you Sakura, you are so pretty sudden-"

"Pregnant." I cut in, seeing this would go no where.

"And am I really that pretty?" So what if I was a girl that liked hearing she was not a complete troll. Deal with it.

Ignoring my last question, Ino looked down at herself, as if forgetting that, oh I dunno, she had an entire baby growing in her enlarged stomach. "Hm? Oh! Yeah...yeah I am." She waved her hand, as if waving off the issue, "but it's a simple matter really."

"Having a baby is a simple matter," I scoffed, placing my hand on top of hers "Ino, you are having a baby!" As I was speaking, a flash from her hand caught my attention.

"AND YOU'RE MARRIED?!" I shirked, grabbing her hands for better inspection.

Ino smiled proudly, waving her ring finger "Yup! Time to settle and stick to one guy" she walked away, and laced her and through Shikarmaru's, showing me her matrimonial match. Though the whole marriage itself surprised me, the couple itself didn't. The second they were on the same team years back, it was almost obvious the two were meant to be, and also when I left the village the two were dating. And suddenly, I was somewhat...frustrated. Villagers that barely knew who she was, would know that she was married and with child. I was her best friend, and I didn't know.

Shikamaru sighed, tearing his hands away from his wife, "Don't get too excited or you'll give the baby a heart attack." he gave another sigh and shielded his hands inside of his pockets. I couldn't help but lean down and inspect her well rounded stomach. My medical training told me she was roughly seven months- give or take a week or two.

"Is it a boy or girl?" I asked, not even making eye contact with Ino, fascinated by the unborn life. Ino would never have enough patience to wait until birth to find out. My guess is the day she was far enough along, she marched Shikamaru down with her to find out. She ran a hand down her stomach gingerly, her eyes clouding over contemptibly in joy as she thought over her baby.

"Its a boy." she whispered, perhaps more to herself than to me. "His name is Issac Josiah Nara...or it will be in a couple months at least."

I smiled up at her warmly, "Issac Josiah? Beautiful name Ino..." She nodded, turning back to look at Shikamaru "Thank you. Shikamaru picked it. I was hoping for a girl but...now that I know it's a boy, I can't imagine it any other way."

Shikamaru gave a playful nod, trying to act as serious as possible but his sarcasm showed through reguardless, "And thank goodness too. I can't deal with two girls in the house- one's enough." Ino rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the buldge in her abdomen. Her eyes lit up, increasingly wide, and turned back to Shikamaru.

"Ne, Shikarmaru.." she stated in a high childish voice.

"What do you want woman?" his voice was full of dread as his wife pulled on his forest green jacket.

"Baby Issac wants ice cream!"

He turned towards her, his eyes narrowed into thin slits, "This is the fourth time this week that 'Issac' has wanted ice cream, chocolate, or some other inedible substance the male race tends to avoid." He gave a finalizing fake glare to Ino, who gave a nervous laugh in response.

"...Takes after his mother?..." she fibbed rather...unconvincingly. He gave a small sigh, then smirked slightly, grabbing her waist and leading her away.

"Come on woman, you're far too troublesome.."

"Thank you babe!" Ino responded, holding his hand merrily as they headed off.

As I watched them leave, I couldn't help but feel slightly...jealous. Don't get me wrong, I wanted them to be happy, in fact I was so happy to see them together, married, having a home....each other..._and_ a baby. Everything one could want. Everything I could want. Maybe one day I'd be lucky enough to have all of that too? Instantly, Itachi ran through my mind, and that small hope was instantly replaced with dread.

Who was I kidding? If I didn't love Itachi, I knew myself well enough that I would never find love again, but if I was with Itachi, I couldn't have a village...a home, and as if I could ever have a family in the Akatsuki. What a joke. No matter what I chose, I would never be happy. All I could do was live my dream through my friends, and watch them go through life with thier love and best friend. Heartbreaking...but at least some one would be happy

"Hey, Sakura-san...you're getting a bit misty eyed there..." Kiba teased, earning a laugh from both myself and Naruto. I turned back to the remainder of the group, "Sorry, it's just been so long, and there's so much going on at once..." I explained quickly, then sighed, "I just miss this place, a lot." I found myself admitting, then I turned back to the now pea sized figures of Ino and Shikamaru, "So much has changed...but I'm so happy to see...others happy. I've been gone for so long, it's nice to come back to a loving people. You didn't get that where I was.."

I cut myself off before I gave anything away, and luckilly Naruto cut in, "Well I can only immagine Sakura-chan. They are murderes- S ranked criminals. And you were stuck with the worst of them. That damned Itachi." he spat out like a curse, hate dripping from his words. I frowned slightly, feeling pain for his ignorance. If he only understood how good of a man Itachi was....and how bad of a person I was....they wouldn't be as welcoming as they were.

Kiba smiled, "You know what you need Sakura-san...just to get back into the swing of things?" he winked at Naruto, who grinned widely.

"Just what I was thinking Kiba. To Ichiraku's it is!"

-------------------------------------------

_"Sakura, I've got another mission for you. And you'd better appreciate it, cause I pulled some strings to get you on this team. Had to fight the hospital staff and everything, even as the hokage it was had to tear you away." _

_I couldn't help but be instantly curious at Tsunade's announcement. It wasn't often I got to go on missions, my medical skills left me chained to the hospital walls practically. "What is it?" I asked, a ring in my voice that I couldn't mask. Tsunade smirked, handing me a manila folder._

_The mission report._

_I opened it quickly like a child at Christmas, as Tsunade explained, "I know how much your last mission with Uchiha frustrated you when you learned nothing about him. I thought this might give you some closure over it."_

_My eyes, as she said this darted to the mission goal. Two bold words made my anticipation turn to fear instantly._

_Kill Itachi._

_The moment stilled, Tsunade kept on talking, thouh I was not listening. Kill Itachi? Of all missions, the millions I wasn't allowed to go on...I was on the one I didn't want to be on! I couldn't be on this mission!!_

_"-Root then discovered that he would be here. So after further investigation, turns out they were right! He is going to be here tomorrow, leaving Konoha just enough time to set up a team to take him out: You, Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, Kiba, and Ino."_

_I tried desperatley to find ways to not fight, and I quickly realized I was the assigned medical ninja. Perhaps I could come back and heal Itachi..as long as he made it through the fight I could heal him back. I just had to make sure I was there to fulfill the role as the medical ninja. "I assume I am the medical ninja?" I asked, praying my voice didn't falter._

_Tsunade smiled, "Now you will really love me. I added Ino on the team because I knew you would want to fight, so she has the role covered! I expect you to be one of the top fighters on the fount line Sakura. Think- we can finally repay him for destroying the Uchiha clan. You'll get to be apart of it!"_

_"Oh...great!" I lied, forcing a fake smile on my face._

_A six man squad against one man? Even if it was Itachi, there was no way! The number of skilled ninja were far too many. None of us were weak people that Itachi could brush off in a second, and with people like myself, Kakashi and Naruto...heck everyone! Itachi could truly be killed...for something he didn't do!!_

_Tsunade stood up, "Do us proud Sakura! You can rid Konoha of this black spot and we can forget it ever happened! Don't let us down!"_

_Get rid of Itachi...forget it ever happened. Wouldn't that be convenient for Root. The mission was sickening. I couldn't do it, commit this...sin!_

_ And in that moment, a part of my loyalty for Konoha died. I would not live in this ignorance. When I was sworn in to be a ninja, I swore to fight what was right, no matter what the cost. That is what Itachi did. And he willingly accepted the fate and lived a live or a villan...when he was the greatest hero Konoha may have ever had._

_Fight what was right...no matter what the cost?_

_I didn't know the cost, but I did know one thing for certain._

_This was so_

_wrong._

_-----------------------------------_

"Naruto" I stated, as I broke my chopsticks. "This isn't a date right?"

The second we arrived, Kiba mysteriously had something to do, and my wallet disappeared with him. Rather conveniently, Naruto offered he would treat me, claiming it to be in 'honor of my return'. Biggest load of crap I have ever heard.

I looked at him with a smirk, as he twitched at my testing question and broke his chopsticks very unevenly.

"No no Sakura-chan! I would never do something so low and pathetic as to having Kiba leave us alone. Because that would be...pathetic!" he laughed again nervously, then leaned forward "Unless of course...you want it to be." he ended darkly, his best attempt of being seductive I'm sure. It reminded me of Itachi...who could be seductive like no other. Itachi didn't rape me because...he didn't need to. Back when we were still madly in love, before thing went so terribly wrong, if he ever wanted to have sex, he would often time just look at me with some dark, passionate look that would make my knees give out, and_ I_ was the one begging _him_.

Truly pathetic.

Thinking over our once upon a time love life, a faint blush whissped across my face, which made Naruto assume was from his offer. He pointed, "Ah ha! I knew there was some hidden feelings deep down in your ice sickle heart."

I rolled my eyes, not able to keep myself from laughing at his description "Psh, ok Naruto if you say so.." I laughed again, watching as a steaming bowl of ramen was presented before each of us. I am not going to lie, I was rather excited about this. If I remember one thing about Konoha, it was that this little shop had the best ramen in the entire known ninja world!

Naruto was quickly devouring his ramen, rather unceremoniously. For me however? It had been literal years sense I had had Ichiraku's and I would not waste it by inhaling the food so fast my taste buds never had a chance. With a rather childish anticipation, I carefully spun the noodles around my chopsticks, and slowly brought it to my mouth, waiting for the explosion of flavor and warm liquid to run down my throat and warm my entire body as I swallowed.

It wasn't like I had had a better bowl of ramen or anything...but...something was missing. Something just wasn't the same, and I found myself rather disappointed. The ramen tasted the exact same as I recalled...so why was it so different? I knew the answer, and I couldn't help but symbolize the entire situation.

...My heart wasn't in Konoha. Nothing would ever be the same, even if the thing itself hadn't changed, like the ramen..._I_ had changed. Even if Tsunade told me I could have my old life back...I was a new person. Could I really mold myself back to be the perfect Sakura that did what she was told, no questions asked? Could I do that, knowing that Konoha very well could be wrong?

Naruto finished his bowl, and shocked to see I barely touched my own bowl. "Lost your appetite Sakura?" he asked, quite concerned.

"You could say that.." I whispered, sling my bowl over to Naruto. "Hey I'm sorry to leave you, but there's a meeting at five and I don't want to be late." In reality, I just wanted to be alone, and Naruto would be too busy eating my bowl to ask questions.

I walked down the street, sunset making everything glow a faint orange. It was so nostalgic...and sad. This place, beautiful...tranquil...was only light on the outside. If the inhabitants of Konoha only knew...if they had any idea of what they were fighting for.

Dying for.

I found myself making my way to Tsunade's office, sitting down for a very long, boring meeting. One thing I noted on a cynical, side note that provided some comic relief from my difficult decision. No matter what I chose, I would be attending these boring meetings for the rest of my life.

Go figure.

I'll spare you the details of the zillionth meeting I have been to in my life, pretty much just more meaningless laws and bills that the council voted on. Though we did all decide on one thing- It was an official law now- all those with ninja dogs were required to have leashes for each animal, no matter how well trained the animal was. This included ferrets and ninja goldfish as well. (I am equally confused as you are, don't worry.)

'Oh how would Konoha have ever survived without the new law' I asked myself, trying not to laugh in the closing of the meeting.

Tsunade stood up, giving me a side glance that told me she thought it was ridiculous as I did, "Thank you members, I hope that all our meetings are as...sucessful...as this one." she fibbed, and I had to cover my laugh with a cough. They all nodded, and soon filtered out of the room at their dismissal.

She closed the door and gave a loud sigh, leaving just me, Shizune, and Tsunade in the room. "Thank god we got that out of the way. I didn't know if I could live another day with those damned goldfish...swimming freely over the streets of Konoha!!" I stated in a huff, crossing my arms to add to the drama. The three of us instantly busted up laughing. It was time like this I missed greatly. It wasn't Konoha I wanted for say, it was the people.

Tsunade sat in her chair, propping her legs up on her desk rather unladylike, pinching her nose to avoid a headache, though she was still smiling. "Things haven't changed that much.." she murmured, then looked at Shizune "And I'm out of white tea! Its hard for me to drink sake, telling people I'm drinking white tea, when clearly, I don't have any!"

Shizune rolled her eyes, "Because god forbid you actually drink what you say you are.."

No, some things hadn't changed much..if at all. But other things changed drastically.

"Hey Tsunade, speaking of change...where am I staying?"

Tsunade sat up with a smile, "Sakura, I knew you'd come back to us, so I made sure your apartment was untouched. The only thing you'll have to fight is the dust."

I couldn't help but smile. That was the first thing I did when I came back to Konoha after my two month life changing mission, moving out of my mothers house. After all, I couldn't be having wild sex with an S ranked criminal next to my mom's room. It just wasn't proper.

"Thanks Tsunade, you really are the best."

She stood up, "Sakura, no matter what happens...I won't ever hate you or give up on you. You are my apprintace after all." she winked, and I had to fight back tears actually. It meant a lot coming from her, and it was nice to know that she would always be there for me...no matter what.

I walked back to my apartment, a warm tingly feeling buzzing in me. I honestly had no clue what I would choose, but I still had a full forty eight hours to figure it out.

As I walked up the stairs, I paused and jumped up on the railing, feeling around for the loose roof tiling, right...about......there!

I grabbed my spare key with a smirk and opened up the door, walking inside of _my_ place. Untouched, true to Tsunade's word.

I set my alarm, which still read the right time, as if knowing as well that I would come back to it. My eyes caught on my familiar bedside picture. A rather young, naive girl, smiling wildly, surrounded by an angered raven haired boy, and an equally as grouchy blonde. I couldn't help but smile at my memories of team 7, amazed at the diverse paths we all took. I couldn't help but wonder what I would say if I ever ran into Sasuke.

"Hey just so you know, I'm doing your brother."? or "Itachi is a real man, and you're just a crybaby douche bag."?

Neither seemed fitting, and both would end in my death I'm sure.

I gave a gentle laugh at how fiery I seemed to be today, and turned on my side to go to sleep. Though something caught my eye as I turned. A dark pink rectangular object, sitting next to my infamous picture that might as well have been glued to my nightstand.

I grabbed at the square smirking, and rolling my eyes with amusement.

Mysteriously, my wallet had found its way back to me.

--------

A/n: Hey all. So I've got a surprise for you all, but I'm not going to tell you what it is for a bit now. But maybe if you pester me enough, I'll crack and tell you a bit sooner than I was planning. :DD

So as always, I love this chapter. I wish I could have drawn out Sakura's emotion a bit more, but I think I gave the ups and downs properly. And I simply love the whole alluding to Shika and Ino...well that really isn't alluding at all is it? LOL! But I truly love that couple and couldn't resist putting them together, and it is vital to my plot line. No more detail, it just is. Oh and the baby's name Issac Josiah? BACK OFF. It is mine! Copy righted and dibbs! Whole nine yards! I love that name, and being a girl, I have various names picked out, one for a boy and one for a girl. I don't plan on having kids, so the names come out here. Steal my amazing names and I'll sick Ino on you to gouge your eyes out! Muaahaha! 0.o

I get a bit passionate when it comes to names. Another one I like? A.J Christina (Alexandria Jannae Christina.) Pretty huh? Yet another name you can't steal. Btw, I have had a fever for 2 full days now :( I'm DYING! (Not really.) Any who, please comment.

Midnight


	15. Chapter 15

Hey Guys... Midnight in the houwse!

Tee hee.

Uhhhmmmm. Yeah.

Sorry, I know it's been a while *cough*

(Over a year now...) *cough cough*

...Sorry- I just hit major writers block and then struck inspiration else where. I know that's terrible, but I can't help myself! I have so much going on right now in my life.** I'm gonna be an Aunt soon!** Holy Crap right? Don't worry though, this story will get done!

But I am back and I swear I will finish this! I understand if half of my readers have all died off, but I said (over a year ago) that I would finish this story, and Dang it I wasn't kidding. So sit back, review and refresh your memory, and plug back in with me. I am going to finish this story and call it a day.

(Then years from now I'll come back and redo it all I'm sure..)

iiiiiii

"Good morning Sakura- glad to see you are as timely as ever." she greeted warmly from her desk.

I walked into the office with a smile, setting down my bag, mostly glad to see my long time friend. It was all too surreal for me. Being gone so long like this made it so that coming back seemed more like a dream- but some time ago- this was my reality.

Some time before all this hell, this was what my day to day was.

I lived a respected life

I had a promising future

I had friends

A career

I had hope

...I had it all

Before I met Itachi.

I gave an internal scowl at my thought, uncertain if I like that or not. Was it true? Certainly. However, that was cutting out so much time, and mostly all the variables. When looking at the facts alone, my decision seemed obvious. Live a life of freedom in Konoha, or a life behind shadows where nothing was certain?

But then you add in the rest. The fact that walking back to Konoha meant giving up Itachi. As much as I had always wanted my freedom from him, now that the door was wide open, I was reluctant to pass through it. In reality, hated or not, Itachi knew me better than anyone else in the world. Itachi would accept me past anything- Konoha would only accept the best of me. My life would always hold a deep dark secret that would linger over my head until the day I died.

When you looked at it like that, the decision seemed just as obvious- however swung the other direction.

Taking out ALL the variables on other side, the straight facts were that I had a decision to make, and that I had a time limit as well.

Two more days including today. At that point, my life would change permanently- there would be no going back to either side once I made this decision.

Giving a sigh at my constant trailing thoughts, I turned my attention towards the seemingly cheerful hokage, "Good morning to you too Shishou. What would you like me to do today?"

I found a genuine smile at my face. It was hard for me to allow my mind to cloud with what was- I was just happy that I was here, in Konoha, talking to Tsunade just like old times. It was so nice and relaxing...I needed this. This redemption from my past, and this opportunity to prove to them, but also to myself, that past all of this- I was still the same Sakura.

Tsunade nodded at me with an equally cheerful disposition, setting down her tea cup and grinning, "Well first I'd like to catch up. To be honest you've been gone for two years now with no contact back here." She gave a small sigh, though still held a bright grin, "I know that you can't share everything, but still, tell me something. I've been worried sick!"

I couldn't help but give a small giggle as I sat down, "Well...living around S-ranked criminals for two years?" I paused, giving her a mischievous look, "I think I've wracked up some funny stories for you."

The next few hours were spent with sorting out files, finishing paper work, all while exchanging tales that had happened on either sides of our lives. Honestly, it was great. Neither of us were holding grudges, neither being judgmental- we just talking. Because we were friends. Konoha would never accept me back if they knew the truth, but Tsunade? There was nothing I could do to forever be disowned by her.

The things that bonded us were far stronger than the things that tore us apart.

_'The same thing could be said of you and Itachi'_

Some dark part of my mind lamented, and for a moment it took me off guard.

I wasn't sure why I was ruining this moment, but I couldn't fake what I was thinking. It had been years since I had the knowledge of my sensei readily available to me, and now that I had it- I would use it, no matter how mad or hurt it would make her.

"Tsunade..I don't know."

She looked up from a manilla file, seeming slightly disorientated as she re focused her attention, "About what Sakura?"

I sighed again, uncertain how I was to go about the information, "What I want to choose. Konoha is great- Konoha is, and will always be my home-"

Tsunade gave a warm smile at this, though I wasn't finished, "But Itachi and I- granted these past two years haven't been a stroll through the park- but he has been for me in ways Konoha could never be. Itachi is the one person in the world that took me out of the box and showed me what life is about. He showed me what reality really was- a reality I would have never seen in the bounds of the village."

"And what did you find in this reality Sakura? Was it pretty?" She asked, seemingly annoyed, though still listening.

"No." I admitted, "But it's truth Tsunade that..."

"That...?"

I sighed again, knowing that I couldn't reveal the secret past of Itachi. For one, it wasn't my story to tell, but more importantly, I knew that his past wasn't going to change mine. I had messed up according to Konoha law, and I would have to make a decision.

"That I can't tell you. It's just one of those secrets that I wish I could tell you about, but I just can't. However, knowing this thing-"

"That you can't tell me about, regardless our past friendship-"

"Trust me on it Shishou- I can't. But this thing, it changes everything. It changes where I stand, what I feel about right and wrong- It changes me as a ninja and as a human being. In the Akatsuki, I've seen things- done things, that made me question who I was, and what the ninja way of life was. It made me see things that have changed it all."

Tsunade listened to my explanation, and somehow seemed to hit a note of understanding. After a moment, she gave a small, almost pained smiles, "You hit those realities sometimes huh?"

She gave a small bitter laugh, then after a moment, found words to speak, "Have I ever told you of my life before I became the Godaime?"

I shook my head, currently having nothing more to add to the conversation.

She placed the manilla folders down, leaning back slightly, "I know you are aware of some of my past history so I'll cut down what I can."

I sat up in anticipation, feeling much like a young child at story time. It was fascinating to me actually. Years ago I had come to Tsunade to train under her guidance. I never asked questions, never got a background check on her, no explanations- the idea honestly never occurred to me. Of course I did learn things about her over the years, but she had never sat me down to tell me her personal story- so truth be told- I was quite excited.

"I grew up a ninja, the same path that you were on honestly. The academy, the genin training, and then that point in life where you stop being a child and grow up into a respectable ninja that the village can depend on. I obviously specialized in medical ninjutsu, and was quickly put into ANBU operations as a medic on the most important of missions. My parents had died way back when I was still a genin, and I was left to care for my younger brother. When I got promoted into ANBU, my brother died soon after. I was devastated, unsure where to turn, and all but ran from life in general. Then I met this guy-"

My eyes lit up widely, and she gave a slight blush at this, "I was head over heals in love. He gave me a hope that had long died out in me. He was an eternal optimist and made me believe again. After witnessing so much death and despair, he was the ray of light that I needed to pull me out from the darkness. It was a great time in my life. Each day with him was like a dream come true- I was happy, life was perfect- but like all dreams- I had to wake up. He went on a mission and his squad was badly attacked- by the time I found him- it was far too late. He was gone, and my hope in life, love, happiness- it all died with him."

She frowned, and I mumbled out a 'That's terrible' though she continued on as though it were just another page in the great book of her life, "I defected from the ninja life at that point. I did it right of course, but I simply left the village in favor of a life of wallowing and gambling. I decided I wanted nothing to do with the ninja way of life from that point on. I had seen so much hope and promise in my fellow comrades, yet it was all for nothing. It was so cruel, and that outlook became my reality- that truth that you spoke of that changes your life, and the way you see everything- it had hit me then. I was a medic; I knew better than everyone the balance of life and death and how fine of a line it really was. It changed everything for me. I no longer cared about any of it because to me, there was no point in trying anymore.

Years went by like that. Of course, not much to report then. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was beating the system by defecting from it. I knew what reality was, and I was going to run from it and its treacherous evils. The ninja life, everything I had ever known, was all a joke. That's when Naruto and Jiraiya came, and the rest is history. Believe me Sakura- I _know_ what its like to be smacked by reality so hard it makes you see things weird for a long time. To be honest, looking back, I don't think I was ever wrong in leaving when I did.

I had every right to be mad at the ninja way of life. I _needed_ that time to find who I was, and needed that time to see the flaws in the system- but Sakura- and here's my point to it all- there WAS a time to run, and run I did- _but there was also a time for me to come back_."

She gave a deep sigh as she looked up at me, placing a hand on my shoulder as she stared at me, "Sakura, you can't run forever. There has to be a time where you come back to where you belong. You've been ignoring your feelings for far too long now. I don't know what you're reality block was, but mine hit me hard, and coming back was the hardest thing I had ever done. You can't run from where you belong Sakura"

I knew she was referring to Konoha.

I knew when she said 'feelings'- she meant my feelings towards my home village, and most definitely not my feelings towards Itachi.

I knew that when she said 'where I belong' she meant here. In her office, and by her side.

She most certainly was not referring to the side of Itachi.

I knew what she was saying. I knew what the moral of her speech was- yet why did it all sound like she was telling me I was running from Itachi? For a full year now, I had tried to deny any connection we had. I was so afraid of my new life, I tried to live life disconnected and distant from him, in hopes that the nightmare would end. It went fine at first, but Akatsuki was dangerous. I didn't belong and the euphoric feeling of being with Itachi died off quickly. It honestly...scared me- and just when I needed Itachi the most- he was always busy on missions. No where to be found. I was alone in a terrible place, living a terrible life, left to wonder what had gone wrong. And I had to do it alone.

The scared me most of all. Instead of facing the possibilities, I shut him out of my life in hopes to wake up and be back in Konoha.

How long would I be able to tell myself that I wasn't running away from him, when I clearly was? I was afraid to face my feelings, afraid to face the hurt that I had always denied existed.

If I came back to Konoha, I would have a stable life- but I would for certain loose Itachi. Period.

Was that really what I wanted? It was what I had dreamed about for a year now- but what if I was just running away this whole time, exactly like Tsunade said?

Her words rang in my ears so strongly, and continued with me even when I left her office that day

_There has to be a time where you come back to where you belong_

She posed the most intricate of questions...

...Where did I belong?

My head was plagued with her words, and I was like a zombie wondering the streets after work.

There was _no_ way I was running from Itachi right? No- he left me to fend for myself in a sea of crazy psycho criminals, if anything, I was running away from Konoha. They had taught me, raised me, and in the end, I gave it all away.

Perhaps I still felt guilty about leaving them, and the idea of coming back with no consequences freaked me out.

I gave a groan, staring up a the beautiful clear skies of Konoha, and asking myself again where it all went wrong.

Was it in the mission, so long ago?

Was it telling myself I could just reenter my life in Konoha as if nothing had changed?

Was it leaving with Itachi?

What had happened to make everything so confusing?

I found myself wondering towards the Ramen stand, sitting down in a huff

"Sakura- great news about you coming back. Naruto sure missed you. Want some ramen? Its on the house."

I grinned, hoping that all I needed was a good bowl of ramen to cure my spinning stomach. "Sure, thanks by the way"

A few moments later, a classic bowl of Ichiraku ramen was placed before me, and I unceremoniously took my first bite.

This place was so different when you were by yourself. To be honest it was slightly depressing. There was no laughter, no loud slurping noises beside you. In fact, nothing quite said 'You're alone' than a quiet ramen stand in the middle of the street.

I sighed, catching the mans attention

"Something wrong Haruno?"

"No...no- not really. It's just...did you change the recipe or something?"

The man looked confused, then started laughing, "I don't know what the Uchiha did to your head, but this is the old family recipe! It's been the same since before you were born- no need to fix what's not broken, right?" He gave a deep hearted laugh, and I tried to be curtious and forced myself to laugh with him.

I gave a sigh as soon as he walked away, finishing the ramen and walking away slowly.

So what was so wrong about Konoha anyway? I couldn't base my decision off from the fact that I didn't like the ramen like I used to. This was everything I had dreamed of. I had worked my ass off my entire life for an opportunity like this one. Even past my three years of stupidity, I could just come back to it all.

People didn't get second chances like this one- I would be simply stupid to turn it down.

But why did the idea of living in Konoha again make me feel so hollow...robotic even?

I gave another elongated sigh as I moved down the street, kicking an innocent rock across the path in my wake.

Tsunade was right. I had to stop running. I wasn't sure what or who I was running from- but it was time I faced it. She was certainly right about that much. I had been balancing on the fence between Itachi and Konoha for so long now- enough was simply enough.

"Hey- Sakura!"

My thoughts were interrupted as Ino charged for me, which was incredibly alarming considering her very pregnant state.

"Jesus Ino- not when you're this pregnant! Think of the baby!" I scolded as she neared me, though Ino was far too occupied in herself huffing and puffing to hear a word I was saying.

I rolled my eyes as I waited for her lungs to return to a less panicked state, for even her brainless lungs were aware that someone in her condition was not ready to run the hundred meter dash.

"Sakura, I am coming over tonight. Its been years. Literally. I miss you- and you, frankly, could use a girls night. Your cuticles are crying for some TLC Sakura." she held my hand for inspection, which I quickly ripped away from her claw like grasps.

"Fine" I hissed, though was smiling all the same. After two years of disgusting, unspeakable male traits, a girls night with Ino was sounding better and better as each moment passed by. I would need the mindless chatter to keep myself occupied and not tearing myself apart in indecision.

I needed some help- some kick in the right direction as to what to do.

There was no way I was going to talk to Tsunade again- seeing Itachi or Kisame was prohibited, and so it looked as if I'd have to tough it out on my own.

If only I could ask Ino- but that would mean confiding in her such confidential information, she'd likely just have to get her memory erased later on should I stay. That didn't really seem worth it all. Besides, I had all of tonight...and then...

Well...that's what I had.

I had tonight.

In the morning, Tsunade would want to hear my decision, and my life would be set from then on.

Oh God.

Why was this happening?

Had Ino not been there, I was certain I would have collapsed to the ground in a fit of tears- however, Ino's presence gave me a strength to walk us towards my apartment and proceed to pamper my skin, nails, eyes and hair for a good portion of the night.

I forgot how much I missed being around girls. Being able to talk about nothing meaningful for hours on end was not an area males were skilled in, and it amazed me how much I missed talking.

Strangely though, it wasn't her I missed talking to.

It was Itachi.

The more I thought of the fact that I might never see him again, the more my mind sent me to panic mode. If there was one constant in my crazy life- it was those red eyes and that famous smirk that haunted my dreams each night.

Staying in Konoha was the logical decision. It was the smart good girl decision that I knew a logical, smart person would make.

Sadly I had never been known for my abounding intelligence in a pinch.

But what was I to do?

No matter what I chose, I was betraying someone, and hurting someone all the same. There was no real winning in the situation.

But Tsunade...she would never be mad at me. She wanted me to be happy. Somehow, deep down, I knew that Tsunade would never hate me, no matter my decision.

I'd like to say that it made my decision easier...but it didn't.

How could I hurt someone that loved me so unconditionally?

That same dark recess of my mind reminded me of Itachi and his boundless love- and I instantly wished that I could split my being in half and be with both people. Or simply disappear from my being at all. If only I could go asleep for a week or so, and wake up after a decision was made for me. If I was simply placed somewhere, I could learn to deal with it. But if not...? If I had to choose...?

Oh God.

But choosing Konoha meant loosing Itachi.

Was I running from Konoha? As much as I wanted to believe it was duty I had become gunshy from- my stomach didn't twist like it did when I thought of facing Itachi. Facing the hurt and emotions that had built up to try to keep him out.

...Goddamn I really was running from Itachi.

Tsunade was right all along.

I gave a long sigh, burring my head in my knees, trying to maintain my composure.

Ino looked up, shock laced in her gasp, instantly rubbing my back, "Sakura hun, I know you don't really like purple but it just accents your hair so nicely! You'll wake up tomorrow and be all 'Damn my toes look good' "

I looked up at her, not sure if I wanted to laugh or glare a whole through her skull. I ended up laughing. My life was far too crappy to be mad at my best friend for her blonde stupidity.

"Trust me Sakura- I'm good with these things. Now what's wrong?"

I gave a shrug, wishing that I could tell her what was wrong. What I would give to be honest with her- but things had changed. I couldn't tell her my lives secrets, my recent memories, my newest tales. My past would forever be a mystery that no one could carry but myself.

Let the lies begin.

"Ino, I'm just really tired. Can we head to bed?"

She grinned, nodding her head, "Yeah, good idea actually. Baby Issac isn't really into the party life. Can I crash here on the couch?"

I gave a nod, moving to the closet and grabbing extra pillows and blankets, placing them across the couch for her.

"There you go Ino- if you need anything- just hollar kay?"

"M'kay" she stated, carefully lowering herself onto the couch. Her eyes went wide as she sank in, then she squirmed awkwardly, flailing around like a fish, "Uh...Sakura- hey...Sakura- I'm stuck."

"You're fat- what do you expect?"

"Pregnant." she corrected

I walked off towards my room with a smirk, "See you in the morning Ino!"

"Sakura! Sakura you have to help me get up!"

"Get some sleep Ino- I'll call a toe truck in the morning I promise!"

I didn't have to be in the same room to feel the glare she was shooting towards my direction

"Sakura I sware-"

"Purple was a GREAT choice Ino! Night!"

"Sakura! Sakura!"

I laughed, turning out my light and headed to bed.

Tomorrow would change my life forever. With luck- Ino would be building chakra all night and would knock me into next week.

That would be so convenient.

I felt a small, hot tear roll down my cheek.

I wasn't running from Itachi was I? I was just afraid. I didn't want to get hurt again.

I was so tired of getting sleep.

So tired..

iiiii

I heard a small creak as my door opened, waking me up slightly.

"Ino you're up? You know restlessness is a sign of an overactive-" I sat up, not quite seeing the long blonde hair I was expecting. Infact, the figure was much skinnier than pregnant Ino would be...

And much, much more masculine.

"Itachi..." I whispered, suddenly afraid of being caught, "You shouldn't be here.." I mumbled, surprised to the core to see him standing there.

The sight was slightly unnerving. The last time Itachi was in my bedroom like this, it was only a few day before I had left with him, not even knowing the hell that I would be drug through. How would I have ever known the changes that choice would make? It was all so nostalgic to think about. Last time I was here, I was so innocent, yet now, three years later, in the same place, looking at the same eyes...

Had anything ever changed?

"You're going to stay in Konoha?" He questioned, somehow knowing everything so it seemed.

I sighed, feeling a guilty knot in my stomach. Itachi was here- if we were caught by Ino seeing each other, she'd freak, and then Tsunade would kill me for sure. Tsunade had forbidden me to make contact with them. This was so cheating. On both sides even. Not only was I breaking Tsunade's one and only rule she had given me, but I was running away from Itachi. Until my decision was made, no one was winning.

I sighed, "Itachi, if you get caught here we are both in _serious_ trouble- and I have my friend over in the living room. This is asking for disaster." I whispered seriously, praying that Ino didn't wake up. I'm not sure if her heart could take the strain of seeing Itachi here. Not with her very pregnant belly. And I had no intentions of helping her deliver a baby tonight by any means, so all surprises that Itachi would bring would simply have to wait.

"She won't be waking up for a while." he stated simply, and I gaped in an instant anger and fear. Itachi could be quite cold and heartless when he wanted to be.

"What did you do to her Itachi?" I was close to panicking. If he did something to hurt her, or her little baby boy then I swear I'd-

"Just put her under a thick genjutsu. She didn't feel a thing Sakura, she just won't be waking up for a while is all."

He moved to the bed, sitting down on the foot of it and giving a sigh. His face was laced with various emotion I had never seen on him before, and it made me very uneasy. Itachi was always so certain and confident. Even when he wasn't, one could never tell by his outward expression. This was not a fitting look for him by any means.

After a long moment of silence, he looked up at me, asking the question that I knew would come, "You are staying in Konoha..?"

I shrugged, knowing that if I could be honest with one person in this world, it would be Itachi.

"Listen Itachi, I don't know ok? It's not really like that."

"But it is!" he cut in, a bit more strongly than he would have liked I assume. His voice was sharp and angry, and it served to quickly silence me. I stared at him with a sad look in response, leaving him to give another sigh and stare into the carpet.

I finally decided to cut in, perhaps wanting this from him. I needed him to know, and I needed him to hear me. I had thought so much today about what Tsunade said, and though I didn't know where I would stay or what I wanted, I _did_ know that it was time I stop running from him and communicate with him for the first time after a year.

I needed him to know. To understand.

I needed him to fight for me.

"Itachi, Tsunade gave me three days to decide who I am going to stay with. If I choose to leave with you and Kisame, she will track us down and kill us. If I stay in Konoha, everything will go back to how it was before my original mission three years ago."

Itachi shook his head, a hurt smirk at his lips, "Oh? And how will that work with you betraying the village two years ago?"

I found that I didn't want to say it. Because it was so wrong. Nothing had changed. Everything would be blamed on Itachi.

Again.

After all this time, Konoha hadn't reformed one bit. Even after a new hokage, the sins of the past were never righted, and never discontinued even. Right wasn't what mattered if no one asked questions. Everyone would assume Itachi had me under a genjutsu, no one would dare question the hokage's explanation.

It was just like last time. Itachi would take the fall again, and once again, Konoha would be perfect and innocent.

I gave a long sigh. For me, I was beyond this. I wanted to talk about more than my decision, because in an odd way- for this moment- I could care less about it. It wasn't what the real problem was. The real problem was the fact that for over a year, I was too afraid to let myself live. He had put me in a place that shut me down, and wasn't there to pick me up. I needed him to understand. I needed me to let go.

"They'll say that you put me under a genjutsu after my original mission and that you've been controlling me to infiltrate Konoha ever since."

Itachi gritted his teeth, and rightfully so, "And you'd allow that Sakura?"

His voice was a deadly quiet, but somehow, I felt strength surge through me. His statement was a question, but it was meant to accuse.

I stared back directly into his eyes, the same eyes that were fighting to keep their black hue.

"You'd betray me like that? Willingly?" His voice was laced with malice- meaning to hurt.

I however, had been living in hurt for a long time. Too long of a time for such a small line to impact me in the way he wanted. This only fueled me to fight.

"Betray you?" I hissed, standing up quickly, my action followed by Itachi who now glared at me with crimson eyes, "I gave everything up for you! And for what Itachi? What!"

He moved closed, inches from my face as he shouted back, "Don't say it like that Sakura- I gave it all up too! I had to leave Konoha just like you did!"

I shook my head, fist clenching, "No Itachi- you gave up Konoha for you! You had to leave because of that mission. Me though? There was no mission Itachi! I just left- Left for you!"

Itachi continued shouting at me, and if I weren't so mad I would have been terrified. Itachi was never this out of control, I had only seen him like this, once, maybe twice in the past three years.

"So what- so you could just skip back to the village and blame even more on me? That's not a part of my mission Sakura- I have no reason to take the blame on this one! The fact that you'd allow it- _even think about it_- I can't even-"

"Can't even what Itachi?" I shouted, shoving him with a rough push on his shoulders, "I left for _you_, gave up my friends- for you! My career, any option of a respectable life- ALL. FOR. YOU. After that? My life fell apart! I became a toy for Peins enjoyment and nothing more!" I found tears at my eyes, and before I was shouting at him, but now I was screaming. I was so furious, and so hurt. We had never fought over any of it before. He had never been daring enough to open the Pandora's box of my emotions, and when he was, I wasn't willing to let it go out in the open. Now though? Whether he wanted to hear it or not, I was finally ready to be honest with him. Tsunade gave me the strength to face this.

I was done running.

"What did I ever do to you Sakura? You did- you left everything for me- but then you decided to hate me! For a year you did nothing but hate me! I gave you space- went on missions- anything I could think of- and all you could seem to do was hate me even more!"

I shoved him again roughly, "No, I only _wished_ I could have hated you! You think I was just wallowing in hatred this whole time? I should be so lucky!"

Itachi looked at his shoulder with a huff, shoving me back though clearly controlling his strength, reguardless of which I'd still get a bruise from.

"Well you were damned well wallowing in something!"

I opened my mouth to respond, however found I had nothing to say. I had harbored each emotion for so long- knowing it in my head and actually admitting it to him were two vastly different things. Maybe I wasn't as ready for this as I thought I was. I wasn't ready to let this go because letting it go meant I had nothing I could hold against him. I would be defenseless against Itachi...

Perhaps Konoha _would_ be a better option for me.

I would never have to deal with this again. I wouldn't have to sort through the sea of emotions and hurt that being with Itachi had left me with.

I wouldn't have to face the confusion, the flustering uncertainty.

There would be no risk to life.

But...I'd loose Itachi.

Indecision running wild in my head, I gave him a glare, turning away.

I couldn't say it.

I couldn't admit it. If I told him- I was letting go of it all.

I wasn't ready for it.

I felt Itachi turn me around, though I still ignored him and stared into the ground. Though he couldn't tell, I could feel my eyes burning with unfallen tears as my mind filled with the past year that was my life. It was a _miserable_ year. For a whole year, I stared into walls, dreamed of something more, but found nothing but confinement and broken ambition.

Itachi's voice was firm, still furious as he continued to lash out, "Talk to me Sakura. Why would you ever betray me?"

I gave him a strong shove the sent him feet away from me, and I was screaming at him again- though this time- I wasn't in control anymore. Something about what he said, how he said it- I don't know- but an internal wall broke, and it all came out like a floodgate.

"How_ dare_ you accuse me of betraying you! I left _everything_ for you! You promised me that when we left we'd be happy! Well that's BULLSHIT Itachi!"

I shoved him again, finding my entire body shaking. I wasn't sure when, but sometime in between him shouting and me retaliating, I had started crying, "I'm _not_ happy! I miss my friends! I miss my village! I never wanted to leave them, but I was certain that if I had you I'd be ok! ...Well that's some more bullshit for you!"

I gave a pause to breathe, beginning to pace around the room as I officially lost it, "At the hideout Itachi? I am so afraid and alone all the time- You are gone on missions...for months at a time! I get so afraid when you leave! I am scared of you dying, I can't fathom what life would be if you didn't come back- where would I go? Back to Konoha? ...I'm scared that I'll never be happy- I'm so_ tired_ of getting shoved around by Pein."

I paused again, wrapping my arms around myself as though I were trying to keep myself from slipping away. The power in my voice had begun to die off as the truth came out, and now my voice was more of a broken whisper in defeat, "I'm tired of waking up afraid of getting attacked by random enemies. I'm tired of living each day in fear- I'm tired of being afraid for my life! I'm tired of being alone and tired of you trying to pretend like everything is ok! You _promised_ me Itachi! Nothing is like you said it would be! Nothing!"

It was the truth. I was so far from happy. I was so tired of Itachi disappearing, leaving me alone to fend for myself in a sea of S-Ranked criminals that didn't give a damn about me.

"Sakura..." Itachi stated, his blazing red eyes also loosing their fire to them, he paused, just staring at me for a long moment.

I wished I could have kept saying more to him. Somehow, revealing all these hidden thoughts and fears was freeing- but I could only whimper and hold myself tighter.

"I am so afraid of my decision Itachi. If I stay in Konoha- you won't...can't...come back for me."

His silence confirmed my statement, which only made me feel even more hallow inside. More afraid.

"But if I go with you- I feel like I'm killing myself! You know why Itachi- You know why?"

I stared at him through blurry, teary eyes, but in my current mood, I couldn't control my words if my life had depended on it, "Because I _love you_ so much- and that scares me to no end! I _hate_ loving you!" I seethed, moving towards him and shoving him again for the fifth time in five minutes, "I hate it so much! It makes me weak, and makes it so you can hurt me- Which is _exactly_ what you do when you disappear for so long you fucking ass! For a year I tried to forget about you and move on- but I couldn't! You're so goddamn addictive Itachi- and it's not fair! There was no warning! One day I was moving into an apartment, the next into the Akatsuki- and the next I'm sitting down in a room- _alone_- wondering what the hell happened! I'm so jealous of my life back here! Everyone here is so happy- and it infuriates me to no end! Our bond is special and...and if any couple should be happy its..."

I found that I was sniffling, my voice once again loosing its thunder and I was left to stare into the chest of Itachi, "And it's not fair. Ino's having a baby, a family- she's so happy. Naruto has Hinata- Tenten and Neji... I just, when you said happy- I just wanted- life isn't what-"

I found that I had stopped talking.

Not because I had no words, I would have kept stuttering for days if I could-

But Itachi had clasped his mouth over my own in a kiss so tender, I couldn't help but sigh into it and let him.

All this time- this unbearable hurt. I had finally confessed it all- and in his arms, I found understanding.

Hurt. For my hurt.

I kissed him back- putting in all my emotions, all my insecurities, all the pain that I had gone through in the past year- I gave it up. I was still crying, and for the moment there was no one but Itachi and myself. For this moment, there was no reporting to Tsunade in the morning, and Ino was not outside my bedroom door. For this moment, it was two years ago, when I was afraid, but willing to accept what I didn't see and just be free.

I fisted my hands in his shirt, shuttering against him as I cried, still battling against my emotions as I forced myself to allow the same man that hurt me to be the same man to hold me together while I fell apart

God I needed this so badly. After a long year of wondering about the day to day, the constant dread of living through another hopeless sunrise as I floated through life- it was time to let go.

I felt his arms snake around my waist, pulling me flush against him. I still cried, releasing all my hate and all my hurt into him. Itachi kissed me gently, fervently, and in his actions, I could feel his sorrow. He was broken, willing to do whatever it took to support me and built back up what time had torn down.

"Sakura..." he spoke in such a quiet whisper it was heartbreaking, he kissed down my face, calming my tears as I held onto him with everything I had, "Sakura...I am so...so sorry. I thought that if I disappeared..."

His words made my eyes burn, and I tried hard to stop crying, but I just couldn't.

I had been running from this for so long...

Running from Itachi from so long...

I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted this...

_Needed this._

He grabbed my face, making a fierce eye contact that sent a shiver through my body, "Sakura if I loose you, I can't_..._I won't." He sighed, kissing my forehead, "I love you Sakura. I am so sorry."

I nodded, though found I had no words to say finally. He held me tight against him, radiating guilt and genuine pain from seeing me like this

I nodded, allowing him to kiss me again, kissing the tear streaked trails down my face, never letting me go for even a moment as I continued to cling to him as if my very life force depended upon it. Perhaps it did. Perhaps all this time was hell for me because living without Itachi was always like living without a part of me. We were together, and had always helped each other past the hardest of things in life.

I was afraid to let it go- afraid to trust him- but he was there. He was with me, supporting me- and I found that I could let go. I could accept it for once. I did love Itachi. And he loved me back- he had never stopped. Neither of us had.

I had been hurt, and I was afraid- but it was time to let it go and come back to him, just as Tsunade had said.

The things that bind us together are so much stronger than the things that tear us apart.

iiiii

I'm not sure how long we stood there, but after a long while of my sniffling- more apologies- and more tenderness it was almost to good to believe- Itachi had picked me up and carried me to the bed, tucking me in as he laid beside me, never more than a few inches away. Itachi just held me against him, kissing away my fears and trying to do everything in his power to accept the past, yet still reassure the future. It was a task that only Itachi could pull off- and after time- though I was still hurt and uncertain- and it felt so odd that Itachi knew about it all...

I felt secure. For the first time in ages.

"Sakura- all this time.." he mumbeled with a sigh, "You were living in such pain for so long.." his outlook was so dark, clearly blaming himself for every bit of it.

"I'm sorry" he stated in a whisper, kissing my cheek and trailing down my face, doing whatever he could think of to give me a reassuring feeling.

I sat up, the time passed having given me strength to face him after all this time in ways I never could before, "Itachi, you have to stop appologizing to me." I mumbled weakly, wiping any remaining tears from my face, "I told you this because...well...we're a team. It's my fault too- I just...I just want to be happy Itachi."

He nodded, pulling me against him where I fit so perfectly below his chin, "I know Sakura. I know."

I could feel his body heat pour into me, the soft, perfect beating of his heart, the calm breathes as his chest moved in and out rhythmically- and it subtly served as a reassurance of everything Itachi had said somehow.

"Itachi?"

"Hm?"

I refused to meet his glance, but I didn't care, for me I had said it all the same, "Sleep with me?"

His hold on me tightened, a small chuckle escaping from his lips and warming my ears as I felt the vibrations through his chest, "Sakura- I _am_ sleeping with you."

I moved away from him, making it so I had perfect eye contact with him, "That's not what I meant Itachi." My voice was still weak and quiet from the long moment of brokeness and far too much honesty for my liking- however the tone in my voice was unmistakable clarity.

I wanted this.

And needed this.

We both did

Not on a physical side

But strangely- purely emotional.

I needed to let myself go- give myself back to the man that would take care of me for the rest of eternity if he could

There was a small pained look in Itachi's eyes- the long year of us being separated no doubt taking it's tole on him as well. Itachi would never admit it like I had, but I was certain there were hurts there too that needed solving.

It may have sounded odd- but it was true. We needed this on such an emotional level it was off balancing.

I slowly forced myself down, making small, uncertain pecks down his neck, earning a hiss at my sudden control.

"Please Itachi..." I mumbled against his skin, apparently that last repeat being what he needed to truly believe I was giving him a green light.

He cautiously kissed me back carefully, moving from my mouth, ever so slowly across my chin, towards my ear and resting at the nape of my neck, his actions unnervingly gentle as if testing me

I gave a broken sigh, rolling against him in slight restraint, finding that the long year had done little to help my self esteem. I pulled his face against mine, feeling the shock from him as I kissed him with everything I could muster up in me.

And in that moment- something finally clicked within Itachi. I could see it- the fire in his eyes were back, he wasn't as careful. Somehow, I had given him any reassurance that he needed to see from me

In that moment- I knew Itachi had been right all along.

I _would_ come to love him as I did before.

Because..I had never stopped.

Without warning, Itachi forced his warm tongue into my mouth, dancing and probing against mine, not even fighting for dominance as there was no battle to begin with. Itachi was dominant- always.

His kisses becoming more heated as my tears subsided finally. He dominated quickly, hands moving across my waist as he pulled me even closer to him, wasting no time in having his way with me. It really was like old times actually. I was hardly ever in control when it came to love and lust. Try as I may, Itachi would become too impatient with me and pin me against the bed frame if the need arose. He was always dominant over me, and I simply did my best to keep up with him.

I kissed back, hands moving around his shoulders and into his hair. God I had missed this.

Itachi dominated the kiss, sneaking in a 'So sorry' between every few moments, though his attitude was quickly turning from apologetic to just plain wanton desire. Oh well, at least he was trying to remember what brought us here

"Just shut up already" I hissed, slapping the back of his head lightly, not wanting him to ruin this moment with apologies

He gave a dark chuckle, "Violent tonight Sakura?"

I bit his lower lip in response, causing another laugh to rumble from from his chest, "You're going to pay for that kunoichi."

I grinned, in that moment deciding that being pushed around by Itachi wasn't really all that bad.

In fact...

I was rather looking forward to it.

iiiii

Itachi stroked my arm lighly, running his hand across my bare stomach as I stared up at the ceiling.

"Sakura?"

"Mm?"

He shifted slightly, turning towards me, "Not that I am complaining- but what caused you to open up? I mean I know Konoha is stressful and does funny things to you-"

I gave him a side glare but was more smirking than frowning

"-But after all this time, what caused the change in heart?"

I rolled over, laying across Itachi who was more than happy to accept the skin on skin contact, "I talked to Tsunade today..."

Itachi nodded, though soon decided to entertain himself with running his hands down my back, moving at all the right places and causing my mind to cloud at his ministrations, deciding that he would no long waste a moment of lost time

"If you want to hear the story, you're going to have to stop that." I stated plainly, sitting up from him slightly so I could give him a serious look. Not that I minded the outcome of either situation honestly.

Itachi smirked, "Sorry to have such an effect on you."

I gave him a quick kiss, rolling my eyes "Sure you are."

He gave a dark grin that I haven't seen on him for a long time.

It was nice. The long couple sessions of love making were exactly what the doctor prescribed- and the tension between us was dissolved for the first time in a long, long time.

"As I was saying-" I stated with a fake frustration, laying down back on top of him. Itachi gave me an innocent look that could easily make even a small kitten look pathetic, though immediately began to continue his previous acts. Ah well. I had tried right?

It took some _serious_ concentration to continue a linear story like this, but I was determined to tell him, "I was talking to Tsunade, and she told me her life story."

"Oh?" Itachi stated, sincerely interested, however a year of celibacy had taken quite a toll on him as he was now kissing down my neck and anywhere else he could reach within immediate proximity of his mouth.

"Yeah, she tooLD me-" my voice raised slightly in pitch as Itachi bit down on a particular sensitive spot on my collarbone, though I was now too stubborn to stop, "She told me I was running."

This seemed to interest Itachi, who ignored my glare as if he had no idea why I was glaring, but did in fact stop his sweet torture long enough to look at me as if asking if I was serious or not, "What do you mean exactly?"

"Exactly what I said." Itachi went back to sucking down across my skin, sending chills fluttering down my spine, "Granted she was referring to the fact that I was running from Konoha- but I know her. She said it in a way that would apply to the decision I NEED to make- not necessarily the one she wants me to make."

I bit back a slight moan, "Itachi would you cut it out? I'm trying to engage in conversation with you!"

Itachi laughed against my skin, sitting still for a small moment as if in thought, but that didn't last long and he picked up where he left off after apparently loosing interest in the story, "My apologies Sakura. So what did she say that changed your mind exactly?"

I grinned, shifting myself against him to get a better angle from his incredible mouth, almost forgetting that I was in fact telling him a story, "She said that." I gave a weak sigh, my breathing spiking slightly as my skin temperature rose

Itachi kissed the nape of my neck, hands running dangerously close to my inner thigh, a grin clearly visible across his face, "She said that..." he reminded me, though never stopped for a moment.

I gave a slow nod, forcing myself to think past the hazy cloud that seemed to be my current mental state, "She said...She said that it was ok to run"

I felt Itachi frown against me, though I finished my explanation, "...But then she said that there was a time I had to come back. That there was a time I had to stop running from it all and go back to where I belonged." I took his small recess of thought to attempt to take control of my own, moving my hands across his sculpted chest and watching in marvel at the still raise and fall.

Itachi paused again, nodding his head, "...I knew there was something about that woman I liked"

I nodded, moving across him and moving towards his ear, purring seductively into him, "Well I'm glad you feel that way, because when she tries to kill me after what I tell her tomorrow, I know that you won't try to hurt her right?" I gave him a sweet smile, deciding that I would try to work my charm. His breathing intensified, him shifting below me slightly, all while I continued kissing his ear and biting him lightly, causing a light groan to escape his lips. This control thing wasn't that bad was it?

Itachi responded quickly, pulling me up lightly by my hair, "I don't take kindly to people that try to hurt you- Why is she going to try to kill you tomorrow?"

I smiled, looming back down and whispering back into his ear, "Because tomorrow I am telling her she'll be needing a new apprentice. I'm coming with you and your bloody partner."

Itachi pulled me up again, a proud smirk at his lips, lasting only a moment before crushed his lips to mine once more.

"I love you so much Sakura." he whispered against my skin, "Things will be different."

"...Prove it" I challenged, pressing my body against his, feeling his shudder at the sudden contact.

"Glady."

Itachi rolled his body over mine, successfully pinning me down beneath him. Well- there goes that control.

He stared down at me, a dark, lustful look across his face, "You know Sakura, I still think I'm a little offended that you called me a 'fucking ass' -as I do recall."

I rolled my eyes, "I was frustrated Itachi- you going to hold it against me and be mad for all eternity?"

He ran his hand over my exposed chest, teasing me as my breathing hitched with his light, yet very effective caresses, "Sakura, if there is one thing you should know about me by now- I don't get mad." He blew cold air across my body, causing me to arch into his hands, "I get even"

If I could, I would have rolled my eyes, but I was currently trying to keep from loosing my mind. It had been so long since I had been with him like this, I was far more sensitive to his touch than I remembered being.

"Itachi..." I whined in a pant, feeling his hand move to my inner thigh, "Stop...this...this...stop.." I mumbled, feeling as though my mind were turning to jello. How long had he been at this now? God I lost count hours ago. My mind was mush at this point, and I was reduced to a puddle in his hold.

He kissed my neck, leaving a trail of small bites and nicks in his wake, "Something wrong?"

I gave a small moan, not sure if I was feeling frustrated, pleased, or frazzled that I was being taken like a piece of meat.

Itachi had been very keen in his getting even- the entire night was nothing more than him dominating each action, filling the still Konoha night air with my moans and screams of his name, leaving me to grip of the sheets, tear my nails across his body, anything to keep me sane as he took me again and again.

God I swore I'd never fight with Itachi again. I told him so various times actually, which always sent him smirking some Itachi smirk.

Never again.

Itachi kissed me roughly, pulling back for the first time in what felt like days at this point, "Sakura, I have to go"

The idea at this point made no sense to me. "Go?"

What did this mean? I was in no place to think on my feet right now. Even think period.

I pulled at his arm as I felt him tug away from me. He gave a laugh, knowing how scatter brained I usually was after he was finished with me, "Yes Sakura. Your friend is out on the couch? A room away?"

I gave a slow nod, though was still confused.

Itachi gave a sigh, knowing that there really was no getting through to me after the long hours of pure debauchery, "I have to go, she'll be waking up soon."

He kissed me again, and slowly my mind began to clear now that Itachi was not causing my mind to be occupied in _other_ things, "Oh...Ino..right"

He smiled, gathering his clothes as I sat up, holding my sheets to my body as I watched him get dressed.

Itachi walked out the bedroom door, pausing as he shot me a small smirk, all the reassurance I would need.

He disappeared soon after, though I stopped him, "I-Itachi!" I called- his image appearing in the door once more.

He stared at me with concern, leaving a fluttering feeling in my stomach as if I were a teenage girl all over again

"I..I'm sorry for the past year Itachi. I was afraid and-"

Itachi walked over, pulling me forward as he kissed me with such a passion it would have been enough to reduce me to a puddle had I not already been sitting down

"Sakura,_ I_ am the one who should be sorry. I took you for granted and watched you wilt away. I won't ever do that to you again."

I nodded, feeling hope build in me once more. I was afraid to let Itachi back in...but what else could I do?

I loved him and I was tired of running away.

"Sakurrra! Sakura come help me up! Your couch is eating me and I can't get up!"

"This wouldn't happen if you weren't so fat Ino- God!" I called back, almost snorting darkly at the look Itachi gave me. He had never seen me interact with Ino before, and our relationship was far to complicated to explain in a mere moment.

I shooed my head towards the other exit, knowing that even if Ino were awake, there was no way she'd be able to get up and catch Itachi here.

He nodded silently, opening my glass door to the balcony and leaving with another famous smirk of his.

"Sakura- Sakura get out here! Come get me forehead or so help me!" Ino shrieked, seemingly certain I had no intention of helping her

I grinned at the antsy feeling in my stomach. It was the same feeling I always got when I was almost caught with Itachi after a perusing night of cat and mouse.

Some things really never changed.

"SAKURA!"

"I'm coming Ino!"

...

"...You look like shit."

...

"I'll take that as a compliment...fatty."

Her icy glare never felt so good.

(And yes. I did manage to get her off of the couch.)

iiiii

Heyo guys!

I hope that it was worth a year and a half of waiting.

I doubt any chapter is worth waiting that long for- however- none the less- there you are. Please don't hurt me- I can't bear the torches and pitchforks. I have sensitive skin! And you can't hurt me- I'm about to be dubbed Auntie Midnight- you wouldn't want to hurt my almost outta the oven niece by torching me alive before she gets to meet me right?

*really innocent look*

Haha. Just kidding you all :D

Thanks for reading this, especially if you were one of my followers before this whole year of absence from this story. It means a lot to me that you all would still come back to read it after all this time, and I wish that I could make up for all this lost time. I promise you however that this story won't have any more long hiatuses. I am going to get this story out, and finish it in a good way that you will all love. I know it seems like it's wrapped up at this point- but it's not.

Don't worry- I'm not killing any one off :D

See you all again-

And soon :D


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